Help me look more my age (younger)

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Hi, I’m only 36 yet often people mistake me for significantly older (like 15 years older). Some people have said as much (blunt talking men usually) and other people accidentally say it, for example by looking surprised when my age is obvious eg being too young to remember something. So it’s definitely true and not just me being paranoid. I don’t wear make up or really do anything to my hair and I don’t want to start wearing make up. On the rare occasion that I do, I don’t think I look better.
the biggest issues are having more grey hairs than is normal for my age. I’ve tried having low lights but the grey hairs grow quickly and stick up in a frizzy way so I don’t think it makes much difference- is there anything I can do to stop that?
The other issue is my skin, I tan easily and don’t burn so I’ve never worn ST lotion much but I work outside so my skin has seen a lot of sun. So I have a lot of wrinkles.
ive got so ashamed of it, the only time I feel comfortable out and about is on a hot day where I can wear big sunglasses. I have obviously started wearing spf now. Any tips really gratefully received as I feel really awful and ashamed.

I think at 36, extra weight is unlikely to be anything other than ageing though?

OP, I would recommend toning up (through weight training or pilates) whether or not you need to lose weight. It will improve body shape and posture and should make you generally more energetic.

My tips would be an all over colour done at a salon and then match the colour and do your roots at home.
Think about getting a fringe cut.
Botox
Accessories such as nice earrings.
No more laying out in the sun
Drink plenty of water.

I think a number of things can make you look older than you are and I think one of the easiest things to remedy it would be covering grey's and having a more youthful haircut. If you're dark haired I'd go for finding a colour as close to your natural colour as possible if you're fair adding highlights would be a good way to blend them into you're natural colour. It's hard to say what haircut/style would suit as everyone suits different styles but generally speaking longer hair looks more youthful. I recently started a new job and I thought one college was about 10 years older than she was because of her hairstyle! When I found out her age I realised that her skin was actually really good she had hardly any wrinkles but her hairstyle was really aging. Another colleague I would have put at 10 years younger, for the opposite reasons her hairstyle made her look younger.
I think being overweight can be aging but it sounds like you don't have to worry about that. Skin is another thing, start using SPF 50 everyday and as you say you are outside a lot keep reapplying or maybe wear a hat and sunglasses. Botox, fillers etc aren't for me but I have been using skin+me to get prescription strength Tretinoin, which can help with fine lines and wrinkles and pigmentation like age spots. You just take a photo of your skin and tell them your skin goals.
If you don't normally wear make up youre probably not going to want to start a whole routine but a little make up might help, some concealer under eyes some blush on cheeks can make you look more awake.

www.skinandme.com/?promocode=LAURENS5YP3

Code for a month free of skin+me just p&p £3.50

@LadyoftheM Yes, well about 17-19 years old definitely

I don’t know how this works and if any of you will see this update! But I just wanted to say thank you so much for everyone for replying and giving me the boost I needed to do something rather than keep trundling along ignoring how I felt.
I’ve had my haircut into a much better style and coloured too. This has made a big difference although I wish I could recreate how it looked when the hairdresser blow dried it!
I’ve also started using moisturiser with high spf in it. I still need to work on a better skincare regime though and I will re-read all of your replies now to decide exactly what to buy. One question- I don’t buy cosmetics that are tested on animals- does anyone recommend a good brand that ticks this box?
And finally, most importantly, I got ID’d buying white spirit in a DIY shop!! Woohoo 😅 I think she didn’t actually look at my face much but I would never have been ID’d with my hair before. Also I was wearing a hoodie that I’d had for years and was probably a ‘young person’ sort of outfit but anyway just the fact that someone at a glance thought I needed IDing made me feel great 😁
thank you again to all the helpful replies, so kind

Haha great update Op. glad to hear you're feeling better !
I haven't been IDed in some time unfortunately, I always look at them a little expectantly but nope

Have a look at Layers and make sure products have the bunny logo

https://www.lavera.co.uk/
What to avoid
https://thedermreview.com/brands-that-test-on-animals/

Should say Lavera.

https://www.peta.org/living/personal-care-fashion/beauty-without-bunnies/

If it's really bothering you, the only thing that will help to lessen wrinkles or even remove them, is Botox. No cream/serum/foundation etc will remove wrinkles so don't waste your money. Going forward, I would always, always wear a high SPF and a good moisturiser. Might be an idea to visit a dermatologist and get some professional advice. Ditto, a good make up artist. A hairdresser should be able to do something with your hair but it needs to be maintained so I wouldn't go for anything that you can't afford to upkeep. Good luck!

Botox and Tretinoin are both tested on animals.

Thanks everyone really appreciate the comments. I don’t think I’d go down the Botox route for various reasons but I’ve really appreciated all the advice and I’m hoping that I can at least slow things down a bit now.

Thank you much appreciated

That last message was meant to be in reply to @Fgfgfg for all the useful links

You can make your face look a lot younger (and sexier and more feminine) by adding contrast. There are actually research papers backing this up!!

Wrinkles, hyperpigmentation and greying hair can amount to a very 'blah', washed-out appearance. Small tweaks like darkening and defining the eyebrows, enhancing the eyes & lashes, and lightening teeth can take years off you. These are quick fixes, but impactful. I'd also invest in a good high-coverage foundation and a lipstick in a colour that suits you.

This is a good video outlining all the different ways you can tweak your contrast:

Great update OP! Next time at the hairdresser, ask them to show you how you could style it in a similar way at home. I have a Babyliss Volume air styler that didn't break the bank and watched some youtube tutorials on how to use it.
Mascara and good eyebrows will do wonders for the face.
Another thing that is a bit expensive but takes years off people (me, I'd like to think!) is teeth bleaching. Not DIY though, it can ruin the gums, but having trays made by your dentist and buy the bleach gel from them.

YouTube is brilliant for showing you how to blow dry. I look things up all the time.

I won’t use anything tested on animals either and use lots of supermarket own brand skincare, the ordinary, Revolution, superdrug brands & still get asked for id at 46. A lot of cheaper makeup is actually really good for everyday use. Dermalogica is cruelty free skincare that’s high end. Basically google any brand you like the look of.

You can get LED face masks cheaply on eBay/amazon and red light does make you look a lot fresher and stimulates collagen production. I credit mine with preventing scars when I suddenly got cystic acne.

You need a separate sunblock every day. If you work outdoors Aveda sunblock for hair will stop your colour fading and the uv roughing the hair cuticle up. I wear a satin bonnet in bed now like black women use and a man’s t shirt to dry my hair instead of a towel.