Dinner at The Shard

[abbey44]

I’ve been invited to a family dinner at The Shard in a couple of weeks’ time and don’t know what to wear. Help!

the dress code is smart casual, it’s a special birthday, so I think I’d rather err on the side of smart, but don’t want to look try-too-hard. I’m 60, size 14 and don’t like wearing dresses.

I have a navy MaxMara unstructured suit that’d be my go-to for something like this as I can dress it up or down easily, but is that too granny-ish? I was watching a Trinny clip the other day and she suggested sequins for a night out - I have a navy sequin oversized blazer that might go with the trousers and a plain cami top, or would this be OTT?

Any ideas would be much appreciated….

Can I just say I would love to try mudlarking it sounds like fun!! I love history!

I agree with this i.e. "wear the fucking sequins".

Note: I live in Whitechapel/Shoreditch and have done for many years. Sequins are perfectly acceptable daywear to shop in or go to the pub or park in around here. Seriously. The whole ethos of London dressing is to wear whatever you want whenever you want. So wear the sequins. Don't over-think it.

And all these comments about the Shard being full of City suits and being smart / conservative, don't worry about that either. I've worked in the City / Canary Wharf for the last 30 years (so I'm frequently one of the suited people - although less often these days as suits are so over) and we don't care what other people in restaurants or bars are wearing. Sure, if we're in a business meeting with you then yes we'll judge you. But out for dinner / drinks, who cares? No-one.

Go, enjoy, stop worrying about everyone else!

@HundredMilesAnHour Sequins as daywear sounds fun. Digs out sequin jacket for a dash to Sainsbury's...Now, to pair with trainers or boots?

I live near Bank, spend my time in the City and East London and I agree with @RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie and @HundredMilesAnHour . Definitely wear the sequins 😊

Apart from anything else, the endless quest to look as if you've made the least effort in the whole room in case some random might think you'd been excited about your evening out is incredibly tedious and ironically, incredibly try hard.

I wore a green sequinned mini skirt with a pink leopard print fluffy jumper to the big Whitechapel Sainsbury's less than two weeks ago when I nipped in on my way home 😀

This thread makes me want to go to the shard. Have a lovely time OP!

Note to self - Be more @SocksAndTheCity

I live in the Square Mile - my next door neighbour and I did not get this memo about sequins. Indeed, my neighbour wears them anytime, any place, anywhere. Also, Esme (from Sewing Bee) lives nearby, and she's very much a woman who is hugely in favour of wearing all things sequinned and sparkly.

The beauty about London is that one can wear what they want, and invariably, there will always be someone far more dressed up and glitzy in the room anyway.

OP, if you want to wear sequins, wear sequins!

It's my local supermarket branch so I know no-one would have batted an eyelid. In fact I'm not sure if there's anything you could wear that would draw attention. Maybe Lady Gaga's meat dress? Nope.

I was walking home through Aldgate recently and there was a naked man standing on the pavement having a casual chat with someone in bike lane. No-one looked. It's east London, we just don't care. 😂So sequins are very tame indeed.

Another vote for wear the feckin sequins. There will be lots of different outfits there, I was there from 2.30 til late evening recently and saw every possible level of dressing up. I think the trousers, cami and sequin jacket sound lovely and will feel special. It’s not as if you are suggesting a sequin mini dress (saw those there too). A navy max mara suit is a wonderful thing but it’s more job interview than celebratory meal out (IMHO).

as an aside-what is the huge problem with looking like ‘an out of towner’ or tourist? The horror!!! As a Londoner the only disdain I have for tourists is when they stand on the left on escalators or walk slowly 5 abreast down but streets. Really could not care less what anybody wears and I’m not sure there are any surefire giveaways in that respect anyway (see naked man above)

*busy streets

Maybe don't use the naked man as sartorial inspiration for a visit to the Shard.

I'm not a Londoner but I also never quite understand the horror of people banging on about someone looking like an 'out of towner' as if there's one definition about what a 'towner' might look like.

Out of towner here who's never been to The Shard, but the stand out point for me isn't where the meal is but that it's a 'special birthday'. I don't know which one but none of us can expect to celebrate more than a handful of these and I believe each one should be cherished.

I've just posted on another thread how I was wearing something appropriate but low key to a family lunch at the weekend and came away really wishing I'd pushed the envelope a bit more.

Don't be me, op,

Then I'm sure you know the Genesis cinema too @HundredMilesAnHour , which is where I was on my home from!

I never understood the obsession with not looking like a tourist/visitor either @RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie , especially if you are a tourist and even more especially in London. It's not as if there are a load of small cliques you're trying to get in with, is it - most of us don't even know each other? Just not standing on the left is all we ask 😊

Then I'm sure you know the Genesis cinema too @HundredMilesAnHour, which is where I was on my home from!

@SocksAndTheCity Indeed I do! I loved their witty Covid puns on film titles that they put up outside as 'what's showing' during early lockdown. Gave me a rare reason to smile back then.

I've been for dinner at the shard and would say it's a real mix, from casual to very dressy, and a mix of people, some who you could tell were very wealthy to tourists, so wear what you feel comfortable in and enjoy it! I loved the people watching but not the bill at the end

That's a really good point @Floisme

@HundredMilesAnHour I think that beats the Prince Charles, who went with (and sincere apologies to all for the derailing which I will stop now) 🤣

I agree with @Floisme too - it's been brought up before but there was a horribly meanspirited thread a while ago about a poster who was going to a birthday dinner at the Ivy and wound up with posters falling over themselves to go on about how they went there all the time in their decorating gear, and how very amusing it was that she was excited about it. I'm not the forum police, but that shit really needs to stop.

@SocksAndTheCity Yes, I remember that thread. It was vile. Definitely a situation where the OP should have been told to wear the fucking sequins if she wanted to.

Funnily enough I've been to that branch of The Ivy since that thread and I can tell you there was some serious dressing up going on. I remember thinking of the op and hoping she hadn't listened to those posters.

God I hate this competitive underdressing vibe! It’s so try hard! And churlish at the same time.

I love getting dressed up so I usually do. When I go out with friends, some are high fashion, some dressed up, some jeans and trainers. No one looks at us, no one gives a shit - that’s the beauty of London. I’m not a tourist- lived here for nearly 25 years. But who cares if someone thinks you are anyway.

In a nutshell - another vote for wear the sequins!

I always think the spirit of the 'it's London, no-one cares what you wear' ethos is meant to be that it includes head to toe sequins as much as it includes the just-a-bin-bag-for-me outfits. But that it's about wearing the sequins - or whatever - because you want to wear them, rather than because you're supposed to wear them. It's not just about dressing down, it's about dressing the way you fancy and not because of some arbitrary rules.

The dickery about out of towners sort of falls into that latter bit, that the non-Londoners are dressing up for the theatre/ Shard etc because they think that's what you are meant to do in That London. And we are meant to frown on that for being try hard or something.
Fully team sequins here, especially day sequins. Wear the sequins!

I think this sums up the London attitude very well.

Except I don't think we frown on 'being try hard', we just don't understand it. It's alien to us. Some of the agonising posts on MN about what to wear, in particular the "what trainers are in?" style posts, are baffling to me. I think I've lived in east London too long as my reaction is wear what you want, wear what trainers you like, who cares what anyone else thinks as long as you like them?! I think being surrounded all the time by people who are also all wearing whatever they want (or going stark bollock naked if they're in Aldgate lol) means we just don't give it a second thought. It isn't mean to seem like we're frowning on people who worry about what to wear, we just don't understand it. Hope that makes sense but I suspect I've explained myself very badly (apologies - just back from holiday and very jetlagged!)

Thank you! This is what I meant by the ‘out of Town’ comment FYI. You put it more eloquently than I. More so that OP said she had a suit she wanted to wear but felt that maybe she SHOULD wear sequins due to the location etc etc. She should wear what she’s comfortable in. Dressing up so much because you feel you have to is part of the issue.

And yes, as a Londoner I do find it uncomfortable watching some poor souls struggling down Oxford street for example in a micro mini skirt matching set and high heels at 1:30pm because they felt they needed to make an effort, barely being able to walk. You can literally sense their discomfort.

London Bridge is almost totally pedestrianised and st Thomas street/surrounding streets in particular are freezing cold wind tunnels. I would know as that’s where my flat is. So if OP is comfy in her max mara suit, she should just wear it. The occasion doesn’t call for her to fret over dressing up in something more ‘over the top.’ Not that the wind would blow her sequins off or anything.