Help

[April198]

Hi everyone, I am at a complete loss on what to do. I have always struggled with my appearance and thinking I look like a man ( because I was bullied about this as child). I have struggled with this for well over a decade now and even now people still call me mate or sir. I don't really want to post a picture but I just need some reassurance I suppose or some help on what to do. I'm just so upset everyday, don't want to go out etc x

Do you have a masculine hair cut?

I’m sorry you are feeling like this, it must be very difficult for you and it sounds like it has a huge impact on your life.
My first thought is that you need some kind of therapy before anything else to explore what happened to you as a child and why you feel the way you do.
In terms of style and beauty, and assuming that’s what you are asking for I think there are many things that can make people look more feminine and these will be different for different people. For me (short hair no boobs) I’m into my ear piercings and other gold jewellery and bright colours even if it’s just an accessory. Even if I’m wearing joggers and a hoodie I add something, mainly because I don’t have swishy hair.
Finally, even though I grew up being told I’m “pretty” and an “English rose” I have also been mistaken for a boy or a man a few times over the years. I don’t have your trauma so I’m able to laugh, but my point is that it is possibly more common than you think. I’m not saying this to detract from your feelings.

Do you have any ideas of things you want to change about your look? Maybe we can help steer you?

Short haircuts are manly if you have a squarer shaped face. So perhaps grow it longer but make sure it has shape

My suggestions would be to avoid trousers and wear nice fitted jean and dresses

Wear at at least eyeliner and mascara and lips stick even if you don't wear any other make up.

How is it affecting you ? Do you think people are treating you differently ?

You could look perfectly feminine and you are still remembering those horrible school bullies remarks. They stay with us for life

I literally can't see any masculine feature on you.

I think you need trauma Therapy as you must still be effected from the bullying

I know what anyone on here says won’t make a difference, and being ‘pretty’ isn’t essential, but you really are a lovely looking woman. I can see no masculine features either.

I’d also suggest therapy before you try anything else.

I really wish bullies knew the harm they can cause. I was bullied too, about my looks and it’s had a long lasting effect on me too.

Honestly you are very pretty.

Firstly wow! What an amazing smile you have!

Secondly as with PP I think the bullying has had a lasting effect on you, and I would also recommend counselling. I am so sorry kids ca be so very cruel.

of course you don't look like a man and some forms of endearment can be gender neutral (here in canada or usa "buddy" for example).
i would suggest shaping your eyebrows and simply nice earings (basic plain but lovely studs be it pearl or diamond or just gold).
you have nice thick hair maybe some highlights.
but honestly none of this is necessary you do look fine and feminine.

You look so far from a man it's preposterous to even discuss this

You are a good looking woman, please don't waste your life worrying about this. Get some therapy and enjoy your looks and your life.

Didn't mean that to sound harsh. Just shocked at how bad society can make perfectly good looking women feel.

Very brave of you to post photos

You look very feminine and not at all masculine

You look like a young very attractive woman

People say stupid thoughtless things all the time but you probably take certain comments to heart more because you're self conscious about certain things

If I heard the same comments which I'm sure I have at some point it would be instantly forgotten

However I might take other certain comments to heart that wouldn't affect you in the slightest

I don't think you look like a man at all. In my city we have a tendency to call eveyone mate regardless of sex.

Your pictures are not what I was expecting at all! You don’t look anyway masculine and are a lovely looking woman.

However if you do want to try a new look I really like www.beautyandtheboutique.com Katie has some really good tips for effortless make up looks. The products are expensive depending on your budget but you can find good dupes in primark or wilko. I find having my eyebrows tinted and threaded and a good skincare routine really helps me feel less crappy.

Posters sometimes say on here that someone's outfit looks "gorgeous" and I think, no it's godawful they are just being polite.

I'm not being polite but you have a very pretty, feminine face. There's nothing remotely masculine about your features.

I ran your photos through a "which celebrity do I look like" app.

It didn't ask me if the photograph was of a man or a woman. It matched you with Elizabeth Shue, Darryl Hannah and Jessica Alba. I think most posters would be delighted to hear they were a lookie likey for any of them.

You’re very attractive. Maybe a different type of counselling would help.

There's different approaches because one size doesn’t fit all.

I was bullied too & it leaves a mark on you.

You're a nice looking woman. Lovely smile. Very pretty hair too.

I'm trying to look as the perspective of an arsehole, and I literally can't find anything to pick on your appearance about. Nothing at all.

You look nothing like a man, your features are very feminine, so I have no idea why people picked this to say. Very odd.

You really do look lovely!

even now people still call me mate or sir

Nope, I simply do not believe anyone calls you "sir".

I think you are beautiful. Your smile is lovely and I'm so confused as to anyone would mistake you for a man

What are you on about?! You’re beautiful!

There’s a what celebrity do I look like app? That might be my evening sorted!

Sorry, but you are gorgeous and are almost as feminine as you get. I want to call reverse or troll 🤷🏼‍♀️