Please help me find my style, I'm lost

[Imwalkingaway]

I've somehow lost my style! I'm 35 and feel lost and invisible....

I love the following things;

Checked Vans (I've been wearing them for 20 years!)
Dark red Dr Marten satchel
Floral dresses
Light blue or black denim
My glasses
Books
Music
Adventures (hiking, cycling, camping)
Architecture (my job)

Used to love leopard print and breton tops (but I feel these are dated now. Perhaps why I'm lost?)

I have naturally dark hair but it's currently blonde ish as my skin is so pale but I'd love to have brown glossy hair again. Whenever my hair is dark people ask if I'm unwell. I have bright blue eyes.

Can anyone describe my style? Recommend shops or someone to follow on Insta? X

I normally end up wearing baggy mid blue jeans, tatty Nike trainers and boring jumpers....

I'm also 35 and also lost my style. I think the best start would be hitting Pinterest! Can you think of any actresses or celebrities you like the look of? You could also type 'floral dresses' and see if there are any inspiring images.

I'm 45 now, but I lost my style at 35 too. It's something about that age and not being 'young' anymore you tread a fine line between frumpy and too childish. It does come back.

Have a look at style essences. It can get complicated but it’s about finding the style of clothing that makes you look really “right”.

This is a good staring place and might give you an idea.

https://theconceptwardrobe.com/develop-personal-style

You sound just like me, I’m a bit older but same style and I kind of feel I should be more grown up. No clue what to do.

@RedLem0nade That's so helpful, thank you!

I'm a soft summer with blonde hair
And a bright winter with my natural hair.

Pinterest is a great idea! And I'm glad I'm not alone 😊

I think I do actually suit breton tops so I'm going to wear them again. They make me feel good so why not.

I think I suit the cliche breton stop and the white converse look. :/

I agree that mid 30s can be a bit of a who-am-I time style wise. How about making your style basics more luxe and/or interesting? Get the best Bretons you can. Have a look at Novesta or Springcourt for plimsolls instead of converse or vans. What jeans are you wearing? I think you can't go wrong with Levi's but Monki are good for modern styles.

So, do architects not know they’re style icons to everyone else?

I’m wondering if this brand would appeal. Uber-Bretons, and you might like the general aesthetic across the site. (Does seem popular with architects, too.)

So, do architects not know they’re style icons to everyone else? Nooo surely not! 😂 Thank you for the link, I'll have a look after work!

@thedevilinablackdress I love these ideas. Thank you!! I've never heard of those brands 😳

I adore the Novesta plimsolls!

That ARMI stuff looks nice but £410 for a stiriped Breton! 😱

I liked Alyssa Beltempo's suggestion to distil personal style down into three words, this can help you determine if an item of clothing genuinely fits your style or not. E.g. mine are bohemian, academic, carefree - helps me steer clear of buying items that are too elegant or classic because i don't enjoy the feeling of wearing them. She suggests that it doesn't matter if the words are not consistent as actually deliberate tension in an outfit is what helps something to look styled.

Feels like one of your words could maybe be indie? She has a video on youtube on how to identify your three words.

I’m similar to you OP and have found it really helpful to think about my colours and body shape by joining ‘Style Me Happy’ group on Facebook .. I haven’t actually had a colour or shape analysis done (although might at some point) but I have just picked up lots of ideas for free by following the page. It’s been really helpful . There’s also a website https://www.stylemehappy.co.uk/ (promise I’m not on commission, I just like it)

@ferretface wow that's such a good idea. I just watched the video on YouTube and it was so good (although the Shein advert half way through totally ruined it!)

My 3 words are probably include comfortable and academic but struggling for a third.... maybe adventurous?

Instagram can also help. I have the attention span of a gnat, so I like that on Instagram fashion things randomly come up as opposed to actively looking for them.
Your taste may be completely different, but for a starter here are a couple of people I like.
https://www.instagram.com/thesilverkat/?hl=en - I love almost everything she puts together
https://www.instagram.com/astridiwantyouinmylife/?hl=en delightfully bonkers and not for me, but often her posts make me smile
https://www.instagram.com/co_ri_nn/?hl=en - in my dreams, I dress like this

Have you really lost your style or is it more that something is telling you you can no longer wear the style you liked because of fashions etc? Is it more an unconfidence thing? It sounds like you actually do know what kind of style you like. What about haircut? (I am thinking of an architect I knew with similar style and also a very architectural kind of haircut!). Academic - what about cordoroy jackets etc? Or soft material jackets? Maybe if you are adventurous you could look at some outdoors stuff, there are some quite cool looking trousers these days etc in some of the adventure shops.

Hey @Hadtocomment - can you possibly show me what an architect haircut is? Thank you. I legit have no clue. And my colleagues all have ginger beards (the only woman) 😂

I lost loads of weight and had to buy a new wardrobe but with no idea as to what suited me now so got a stylist who was brilliant. She offers lots of services including a going through your wardrobe.

Really recommend trying a stylist if budget allows. Sian did me styledbysian.co.uk/

Thanks everyone for links and things

I've chosen "nature" as my 3rd word
So that's comfortable, academic and nature

Ellie on youtube has loads of great videos on this:

and how to connect it to your seasons and body type

For nature, try brands like Finisterre, Passenger, outdoorsy but not obvious outdoor brands. Allbirds shoes? Bam?

@ilovemydogmore this was amazing. I would choose

Flower - pretty feminine shapes
Earth - Dark Academia
Moon - plaid and leather jackets

In that order

I think I'm "lost" because I don't own anything that's dark academia other than my Dr Martens handbag!

My pretty feminine clothes are summer only.

So I've been going through Winter wearing random clothes because I'm cold 😂

Thanks everyone! I feel like I cracked it. But I don't know what to buy now. Maybe some cords? And some jumpers to keep me warm!

Thanks @Willowtre1 I LOVE passenger and Finisterre. Their dungarees are gorgeous!

My goodness me. I just wore a sweater, it was dark foresty green and I love it. Its my favourite. But I felt so UGLY in it and my hair looked so yellowy and neon. My eyes looked odd and my skin looked pink.

I could have cried at the sheer ugliness. (Everything clashed!)

I took it off and put on a very light grey jumper. My skin turned back to normal (pale english rose!), hair back to sandy blonde and eyes looked bright, blue and sparkly. I felt and looked immediately better!

I've never ever noticed how colours and shades change how you look! I'm mid 30s - I should already know this?

😂 the real shocker is that I'm 3 belt holes fatter than I usually am. Oops.

Interesting … More pale here:

(Tap for prices, mostly.)