Please send help/wine - a bad thing happened today 😩

[FattyFattyToadboy]

Woman in work asked me when I’m due. In front of three other people. All of whom know that I am not pregnant 🙃

Can’t even really blame her. I do carry a lot of weight on my stomach, which is a misshapen numb wreck after two c sections. I do need to lose some weight, I know that, but I also suffer terribly from scar endometriosis which causes a lot of swelling and pain.

After work I decided I really need a makeover so I went to buy some new dresses for work. It’s hard finding things to hide my stomach but I picked up a couple. Got them home and they are like bin bags. They do hide my stomach but they are fucking enormous everywhere else. They’re just so unflattering and I still think I look pregnant anyway (I’m a 12 but need a 14 to accommodate my stomach if that makes sense).

Now I’m crying in the bath because I just feel desperate. I feel like I don’t want to leave the house again.

please. Someone tell me how I’m supposed to dress. I’m 36 years old and I’m 5’3 (so it all looks worse because i’m so short)

I can only sympathise

I bought a top that was a bit clingy...a taxi driver just casually mentioned my pregnancy. As I'd never see him again, I just nodded along. Now I only wear that top at home!

I make it a rule to break up my frontage now, so never just one layer. I find that really helps. In summer it might be a cotton shirt over a vest top, but somehow the open layer thing really helps.

I like this video
i don't wear skirts or dresses but that's not about my shape

she starts at 2.40 ish.

Quick fixes - posture makes a big difference. Try standing side-on in front of a full length mirror and making an effort to stand up really straight. I find it changes my stomach shape entirely! Not easy to do all day but worth getting in the habit of better posture if you’re standing talking to people. Plus, activating your core muscles is good exercise and will help flatten your stomach a bit - imagine you’re drawing your belly button towards your spine and hold it for a few seconds, then release. Do that through the day and it really helps (and is
super easy).

Also - hold you in pants? Can be uncomfortable but can add confidence with dresses and skirts.

Oh OP, I'm so sorry you've had such a shit day!
tbh you don't sound fat at all, a size 12, even if a 14 around the middle at your height is not unusual at all.
please don't pay too much notice to the person who thought you were pregnant. Could it have been the clothes you were wearing? Shapeless tops and dresses that kind of hand off the bust can make anybody seem pregnant because they resemble maternity wear.

I totally understand regarding the c section tummy. I'm a size 10 but 4 c sections later my scar is like yours, painful, swollen and lumpy and I dress to minimise that area.

I wear a lot of fitted shirts and jumpers which cling to my upper body but skim my lower stomach.
Trapeze style tunics and dresses, especially if you have slim legs will help. Rigid jeans too can help to pull the stomach area in.

I hope you feel better after a good cry but honestly it's more than likely a mistaken comment and I don't belive you look pregnant or even as big as you think you do. We are all our own worst critic. Sending a hug.

I'm also a size 12 with what I like to call an overhanging mum pouch which makes me buy size 14/16.
Try some high waisted skirts or trousers, I find they tuck things in a bit, or in my case at least stop it jiggling when I walk

I was wearing a dress (which I’ll be putting on Vinted tonight…) with big hold in pants underneath. To be honest I wonder if the pants made it worse because it’s still there, it’s just more “solid” in the pants if that makes sense.

Thank you all so much for your hints and tips. I really appreciate it. I’ll have a proper read and try a few things out.