Style & Beauty
The life I live in my head Vs the reality of day to day life
GoShorty · 19/03/2023 10:44
I haven’t updated my style/wardrobe in ages for various reasons and am suddenly feeling very bland and boring. I’ve been looking on instagram etc for ideas, but everything I’m drawn to is on the smarter side - outfits for the city/work/shopping etc - which would have worked brilliantly in my previous life but is a bit out of place now I live in the country and spend my time on school run/dog walks etc. I’ve tried the whole country tweed/Fairfax and Favor thing but tbh it’s not really me and I feel a bit like I’m in fancy dress (even though there are plenty of people who do wear it round here and look good). What can I wear to feel more stylish but also that works with my actual lifestyle and not the lifestyle I live in my head? I usually just default to skinny jeans, a jumper and chunky boots, which is fine, just a bit boring. The oversize look doesn’t work on me as I’m very short. Any ideas appreciated!
FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 19/03/2023 11:52
When I lived rurally one of my neighbours dressed in short skirts and thick tights.
Why can’t you dress smart for the school run? If you look great you’ll feel great.
thedevilinablackdress · 19/03/2023 11:57
I agree, wear what you like and makes you feel good, and adapt with sturdy boots and weather appropriate coat as needed.
Unicornsaregreat · 19/03/2023 13:15
I live semi-rurally and spend a lot of time walking / cycling / in garden / playgrounds or National Trust places with small kids. Doing school run etc
I used to work in the City in finance so the shift away from smarter clothes took a lot of getting used to!
I’m not personally a massive fan of the Fairfax & F look, unless you genuinely are a posh horsey type it feels a bit try hard IMHO.
I tend to wear leggings or jeans, in the winter with a hoodie from Passenger, with either wellies, walking boots or trainers as appropriate
In the warmer spring weather I’ll replace the hoodie with a shacket / shirt and wear trainers
In the summer I favour shorts, shirts, with Birkenstocks or trainers.
CinnamonJellyBeans · 19/03/2023 14:38
There's nothing wrong with wearing relatively cheap staples to go about your everyday business, especially if they are comfortable and durable.
If you are conscious about looking a bit smarter/classy/rich when you are out and about, how about a well-made coat. Hobbs have a large range of petite coats. Also a good bag and boots.
LadyHenrique · 19/03/2023 15:38
I think you are experiencing a period of unrest, if that makes sense. I've been there in the past, and whilst I never did the F&F thing I could never quite fit my tastes to my environment.
I don't like smart or city looks for me, but I grew tired of rainproofs and mountain style stuff after years of mooching around fells. I longed for a kind of laid back slouchy luxury, where the items were lovely quality and natural fibres but not particularly 'rich' if you see what I mean. So a sort of off duty dancer look with a slightly less frivolous hint of bohemia.
In reality I would end up in yoga type clothes or waterproofs
These days I have less and less stuff, but all of it means something to me. I try to bridge the gap between practical and just plain lovely things, and to keep it to a minimum.
Look at what you reach for most each season.
Do you prefer tshirts, vests or dresses in summer?
There are different types of rural and city, too, not just one bland, homogenous look. The F&F look is very specific so only go there if this is super comfy to you.
I don't wear typical country togs because I find them a bit stiff and bulky for me (my old dubarry boots were like lugging around a lumps of concrete).
I tend to put my money on accessories, so a nice cashmere wrap, leather sandals and some good trainers for walking.
So what is your lifestyle and how do feel at your best if you blot out other people's perceptions of you? It pays to imagine this because it will save you time and money in the future. If you feel like fancy dress it isnt working. I felt like that in pretty dresses, even tho i suit them. It's unsustainable for both your pocket and the environment.
Find your own niche, your 'tribe' as it were, and if you feel overwhelmed socially to fit in, just add touches to it rather than slavishly following.
GoShorty · 19/03/2023 21:35
Some really good food for thought here, thank you so much. I agree that I should dress for myself rather than to fit in, but as someone else said I’m not quite sure who I am at the moment, and therefore default to the easy comfortable option of skinnies and jumper. I do have some lovely coats and boots, so no problems there as such, it’s just what I wear underneath that’s the problem. My trusty skinnies are wearing out and it’s getting too warm for thick jumpers, but I can’t seem to find what works for me that is reasonably up to date but also suits my small frame and my casual lifestyle. I’ve tried the kibbe analysis thing and I think I come out as classic gamine, which feels about right but just seems a bit dull and staid! I want to feel that I’m up to date and not just stuck in a rut, but not sure where to go from here. Being short doesn’t help as most petite options are online only, so I can’t even go for a big trying on session.
KittyCrush · 19/03/2023 23:59
I'm completely with you on this. I'm only drawn to smart looks but my home life is kids, dogs, horses and mud!
It was OK when I was in the office 4 days a week but now I'm home nearly all the time I default to legwear I can get wellies over and a big jumper to keep me warm.
I did try harder at one point, thought ' of course you can walk the dog in a dress and wellies' you really can't 😞
Like you I'm heavy on boots and coats, I look good when I nip into the village but underneath I'm too casual for my liking.
The only advice I have really is to get good quality and nice coloured skinnies/leggings /jumpers and to make sure your colours and textures work together and suit you.
Also you may as well free up wardrobe space by downsizing the stuff that no longer fits your lifestyle. I had 27 work dresses and 8 work shoes and go in about twice a month 😆
Rina66 · 20/03/2023 02:40
Could you wear a slightly cropped mom jean with a skinny roll neck or body, nice belt and your chunky boots? Then add you coats over the top.
The jeans in black would also be good with slimmer fit finer knits. Maybe a longer line but not not oversized blazer over the top.
I also think shorter tunic style dresses with thick tights and boots looks good too.
Starryskiesinthesky · 20/03/2023 06:41
I would look at Melissa murrel on YouTube. She recently did a video for a woman who walked dogs! There are loads of others too!
GoShorty · 20/03/2023 08:08
Ooh some nice ideas! I think I’d actually seen that woman on instagram, and liked her style but thought she mostly had work wear type stuff! I think I need to go somewhere and try some jeans on. I did venture into some straighter top shop ones last year but they made my arse look massive and I quickly retreated back to the skinnies 🙈But some more up-to-date jeans would probably help me feel more confident. I’ll have a look at the you tube recommendation too.
Sofitella · 20/03/2023 12:17
Try Açai activewear trousers OP, same lifestyle as you and they have been transformational! They are very flattering and so comfy and look really smart, they get a lot of positive comments - although still not high fashion!
GingerAle1 · 20/03/2023 12:20
LadyHenrique "So a sort of off duty dancer look with a slightly less frivolous hint of bohemia."
ooh, I'm really interested to see an example of this if you have any? Thanks!
GenAndWine · 20/03/2023 13:06
I can identify with this. Half of my wardrobe is still office type workwear.
But my life now revolves around my small kids and dogs - lots of walking on muddy hills, diy, gardening, and sitting on the floor playing.
id love to manage a groomed off duty rock star look but mostly I achieve a look one might kindly call frazzled and frumpy.
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