Un-frump me please! Where to shop??

[UnfrumpMe]

It occurred to me this weekend that both my best friends (both size 6 and one 5’9, the other 4’11) would not be seen DEAD in my go-to jersey dress, legging and white trainer or welly combo. I’m either wearing that or gym gear.

I like this combo for school days as I spend most of them on the floor with the baby then doing the school run and housework, so like to be unrestricted. Realistically I’m not going to get changed into something more presentable for the school run.

I tend to go for block colours, and an alarming amount of my clothes are grey or khaki. I’m scared of patterns as isn’t that the epitome of frump? But I guess more non-floral patterns might help.

But I’m also a singer and an artist and my social life in general is starting to pick up and I feel like a shapeless colourless mass. I actually have a good selection of jeans thanks to Stitchfix, but need nice tops suitable for gig/dinner/theatre type occasions, and some nicer dresses. And some better shoes. I have a few nice things - jumpsuit, long red gingham dress etc - that I will either ‘slim into’ (I won’t), or are too OTT for daily life? Or feel that way. I’d feel like a spectacle at the pub in a flowing red gingham maxi dress with low neckline?

New Look/Lindex budget which I’m sure is probably part of the problem! I do NOT want to be sweaty but don’t know what fabrics to avoid for that?

Stats: 5ft5, size 16 (maybe 18) but finished having babies now so that’s gradually coming down. Have realistically never been under a 14 though and I’m not going to battle for it (I’ve done a lot of work on this, food issues, self acceptance etc so let’s not get into that. Just - size 16).

Age: 32

Skin: happy with for the first time in my life

Hair: been VERY frizzy since having DD a year ago. Tried curly girl a couple of times but I’m more wavy so the products (only curls) weigh me down and I don’t have the capacity to figure it out. Long, brown, thick, cut it myself into a shoulder length bob sometimes. Grey at the temples but would rather not get into dying routines (expensive £ and time) but grey hairs are a different texture so maybe it WILL just age me and I won’t be able to carry off the cool grey look?

Nails: started off the year wanting regular gel nails but they ruined my nails and now they’ve grown you can see healthy nail at the bottom of each nail, and a strong line in the middle where the top half of each nail is noticeably weaker and damaged. So, I dunno.

Need:

coat (just bought a Passenger long gilet in the sale but other than that I have a 7 year old North Face coat and a leopard print coatigan)
Shoes - boots? Heeled ankle boots?

Tops
Dresses

Help!

*celeb or influencer.

With influencers I have to remind myself that they're paid to wear things, or they're gifted them - it's not normal to have that many new clothes!

Well DS said my new clothes from MONKI are ‘sick’. But he’s 7 so maybe I’ve gone too far the other way now 😂

Hi OP

I honestly could have written all of this (bar the hair...mine is disappointingly, stubbornly straight!)

Like others say - Vinted is your friend! I love a Monsoon floaty top, with a lacey cami underneath, French tucked into jeans, then ballet pumps / trainers (swapped out for wellies for the dog walk!) I've got a saved search for things like this on Vinted, so it makes searching much easier. You can favourite things, so can come back later to think about it.

Vinted really is brilliant - like an online charity shop!

I felt frumpy and a bit lost after having babies...I'd say have a think about how you want to look and feel. Then have a brutal (and I mean brutal!) look at your wardrobe...if it isn't working, then sell on Vinted or donate. It'll make getting dressed so much easier.

I always have home painted nails (don't have the cash for shellac!) & make sure I've moisturised well, spritz of perfume (Aldi Jo Malone dupe!), light makeup of moisturiser mixed with foundation, blusher, highlighter & blusher.

I'm not saying I look the bees knees at all...but I feel better for it and always think that counts for a lot. It's just nice to spend ten minutes on yourself (which is flipping hard when you have little ones!)

I've also just found a lovely hairdresser after asking around friends...I've always hated going and it's made such a difference having had recommendations.

So glad your threads got the 7 year old seal of approval!!

Should add...also a size 16 but sometimes you have to go bigger when buying off Vinted as the odd thing is a bit shrunken from being washed!

@UnfrumpMe i have some cysts on my scalp too. I used to work as a hairdresser so I know they're really common. Your hairdresser won't bat an eyelid. They won't judge you for cutting your own hair either.
I've been feeling the same way about my Jersey dresses. I've cleared out quite a few. I would focus on getting some more colour that suits you in your wardrobe. Lots of khaki and grey is quite draining - depending on your colouring.

Why don’t you go plain tops and accessorise with patterned scarves, light one in spring, thicker one’s in winter. I have a large collection of different patterns and colours.
In summer chunky, bright jewellery.
Imo nobody look stylish in leggings and you’re more aware of your weight if you wear trousers/ jeans that have zips and buttons.
Hair always makes a difference. If you watch any makeover programme it’s always the hair that you notice.

I have hair that turned wavy after having DD (3). Boots curl creme and umberto Gianni scrunching jelly, under a tenner for both from boots. Try washing as normal, brush through the curling creme when really wet, then wrap in a cotton t-shirt (Google plopping). After 10 mins- an hour, take it out, tip your head upside down and scrunch in the jelly. Either leave to dry naturally (less frizz but flatter) or use a diffuser (better waves but more frizz).
Long layers help waves form, and I used to have to pin back the top layer often as that doesn't curl as well, but it's gradually getting better.

Have you got any people/ celebrities/ instagrammers who you like the style of?