I am no longer feeling good with myself - what do you do to stay attractive?

[Marghe87]

Had DD over 2 years ago and I think (actually, I know) I look much older and less attractive overall.
i have always been fairly satisfied with my appearance and I didn’t had to ever make a massive effort to look good. Now things have changed and I think it’s time to start making a bigger effort on a daily basis… I always look tired, my skin is dull, I need to lose a few kg, my hair never seems right and clothes never seem to suit me well (because I am unhappy with current body). If you went through a phase like this, what have you done to get yourself to feel good again?
I have decided I am joining the gym again (I used to work out regularly before DD) and will try and make a better effort in looking good on a daily basis and not only if I have a special occasion (which never happens) and by that I mean: style my hair so that it’s not frizzy, do my nails, wear more makeup etc…
Did you also find thay after DC and a certain age you had to make a bigger effort to look attractive again? I honestly feel so bad about my appearance these days, I need something to shake me up.
I never have the me time I want and always end up rushing and doing the minimum to look presentable but it’s no longer enough to make me feel good.
Thanks for your help and tips!

I think once you start doing some regular exercise you will start to feel better about yourself in so many ways, not just about how you look but feeling healthy and strong boosts mood and self confidence generally. Getting decent sleep, cutting back on alcohol (may not apply to you), eating well and drinking plenty of water will also help. For me I feel best about myself when I'm doing all of the above.

Definitely start with the exercise and drinking enough water. I wouldn’t worry about new clothes just yet - focus on how you feel in your body first. Try to get into some good routines e.g. do your nails when you’re sitting on the sofa in the evenings, leave enough time for hair, makeup, perfume before you leave the house in the morning.

Go through your clothes/shoes and get rid of anything too worn or out of shape or that doesn’t fit or you don’t like anymore. Get boots re-heeled, polish shoes, cut any loose threads etc. Better to have a small, tidy well-fitting wardrobe.

Exercise might help you get your sleep and then timekeeping on track - makes a world of difference when you leave enough time for yourself in the mornings to have a preen.

Consider your stress levels and how fast you move through life too - going slow is great for calming the nervous system and getting into ‘rest and digest’ mode - good for weight loss.

Think French, look up Justine Leconte for inspiration! https://youtube.com/@justineleconte

Exercised. After two days of 5 mins on the cross trainer I could feel a difference. You get back what you put in, the days I put make up on I feel much better.

Is there anyone to look after your child while you do self care though?

Yes, exercise is definitely the key, I know as I have always felt good before when I did it after months of not much activity.

@FormerlyPathologicallyHappy DH of course

Another one coming on to say exercise.
I also felt very blah in the years straight after having kids, but my youngest is 8 now and I feel better than I have ever done. It does get easier!

I definitely noticed that, as my 40s advanced, I had to wear more makeup. I was only a mascara girl before, but sitting in an appointment with a French woman, I suddenly decided to wear more eyeliner.

I also started fasting as a lifestyle and dropped a stone, more.

So, lose weight, and dress up more. I find more eye makeup (not dark, sparkly shimmer and brown liner) and then colour on the cheeks. That's my advice.