Can you lot help a fat frumpy woman?

[Fatandpregnantagain]

Please?

I am 43. I’m very overweight <sigh> after successfully losing lots of weight after my first pregnancy it’s gone on again in my second. I am about five stone overweight.

I am also pregnant, so maternity clothes should be my go to, but I cannot find decent plus sized maternity clothes. Grateful for any suggestions. I feel horrid at the moment and obviously horizontal stripes are a no no for larger ladies. Please help!

www.thebump.com/a/where-to-buy-plus-size-maternity-clothes
i know this is an american link BUT
from here you can look at "outfits" and sort out a supplier for a similar look

Next do curve maternity wear. A few tunic length tops. I’m imagine you’ll think some of the dresses too long. But if you choose wisely on the style, you can have it shortened without ruining the look.

Idk how far gone you are and if you’re looking at breastfeeding. Might be something to consider when buying. My dd is a teenager now and I hadn’t heard of feeding tops / dresses until a friend had one. I wore low cut styles for easy access as I don’t have a lot of boobage. That wouldn’t work so well in public for women with larger breasts and a lot of women used feed from underneath. Some wear a vest top underneath their normal top. Pull the top layer up, the vest down.

One of the companies on that link is in the UK

www.yoursclothing.ie/maternity?page=1

the ASOS stuff is awful but the tops on this site are not bad at all.

www.yoursclothing.ie/dresses/maternity

Dresses aren't bad either.

I'd recommend "Yours" and Simply Be. I am very much a plus size too.

@rainbpwcupboards hi. For work I tend to buy Marina Rinaldi. If you search on fleebay you can pick up jackets for £150. It sounds a lot but they are usually £600+.
I stick to plain colours. Ditto their coats. Sizing is vague but a 25 is our 20 roughly. Lily Silk does beautiful shirts up to a 22 and they are often discounted in the sale. About £90.The best trousers are an autograph silk and wool mix (now discontinued). I pick these up from fleebay in black and navy, about £25. They say dry clean, I wash mine on a wool programme. I have had a pair for 5 years. For mat wear Isabelle Oliver has a blazer in the sale for £70. I would buy a couple of those and some maternity trousers, Next are fine. John Lewis usually have a few good pieces too. Try seasalt for longer linen tunics if you are going to be pregnant in the summer. And get some decent knickers. Big bloomers do a great basic.

Thanks so much. I don’t tend to wear dresses often.

I don’t have particularly big boobs. I would like to breastfeed but failed miserably with previous baby and don’t want to put myself through that again. I definitely don’t want to buy a wardrobe assuming I will, if you see what I mean. Baby is due in July - hoping we don’t have too much of a heatwave!

@FancyFran Good advice.

OP, I add to that hair and nails. Well kept nails (a manicure with a classy coloured nail polish - some colour that’s pretty, but but neutral - boring is what I mean by ‘classy’ here). It always presents as groomed and like you’ve made an effort. My nails are currently not done and I’m looking a bit unkept.

Clothing, Fran’s advice is very good.

Something I now always try to do, is match the colour of my top to my bottoms (and shoes). It doesn’t have to be exact match - more tone on tone. On me it seems to give a longer slimmer look. And also tends to disguise things like elasticated waists etc. (and the eye doesn’t pick up tiny detail as much, imo). I love long loose trousers (elasticised waists but elastic must not to be too wide as it rolls and sits bunched up around my waist). I also wear skirts a lot - bias cut skirts suit me. I can’t get away with skirts with lots of material, not frills around the bottom of skirts or dresses as they make me look even larger. I look better with a v neckline - I have very large breasts and that suits me best.

Hope there’s some idea here you can use.

congrats on baby.

Hi OP! Fat and pregnant due, also due in July!!

Last pregnancy Dorothy Perkins saved me..loads of nice maternity tops always in the sale. Lots of dresses too which I know you aren't so keen on.

Work trousers I found in Sainsbury's randomly. Not maternity but elasticated waist and they lasted the whole pregnancy and beyond.

I've got a saved search on vinted for maternity clothes in a few sizes

Also..got the 2 for £12 pjs in Asda. Crazily generous sizes. Gave birth in their nighties and lived in the pj bottoms afterwards. Asda do some nice maternity stuff too.

Am going to heed above advice about hair and nails. I would feel a bit less shit if my hair wasn't a nest I think!!

New look, albeit a bit young, has a decent maternity section. I'm a bit younger than you but heavily pregnant and very frumpy and have mainly lived in leggings and dresses / long jumpers this pregnancy. It's not about style at the mo for me, comfort!

Normally I quite like new look for basics but can only find a couple of very plain things in there.

Forgot about Dorothy Perkins. Are they online now or just gone?

Best advice I can give is to look up MM Personal Styling on YouTube.

She's a UK based stylist and does a number of films styling real women of all sizes and shapes and it's been invaluable to me!

Also I'm a 22 and this is where I tend to shop (either new or via eBay)...

• Mint Velvet (only go to an 18 but I can wear their XL tops)

• Fat Face

• Next (online they have a better range)

• M&S

• Monsoon

• La Redoute (again, online they have a large range)

• H&M plus size (find I have to go a size up)

• Marina Rinaldi (only via eBay as ££££)

Oh and John Lewis.

You can find brands going up to a 20 on the M&S and John Lewis site that don't go up to that size in their own shops.

I suspect the M&S / John Lewis buying teams make them extend their size range as part of the deal.

Here are a couple of the stylists YouTube things I mentioned

How to hide a larger stomach

Petite and plus size

Thanks but I know I won’t get round to watching them I don’t think I’m too bad with knowing what does and doesn’t suit me, the main problem is that my choice is so limited at the moment.

The stores that sell maternity (all online) I’m aware of are New Look, where the choice is tiny and is very plain, which is fine, but I don’t really want to be wearing one pair of leggings and alternating black top, white top, striped top for the duration, H & M, which just isn’t a style that suits me - never has been - the online shops popular with younger women like Boohoo and ASOS which likewise aren’t for me … Plus a lot of these don’t even fit because they only go up to certain sizes. I did try Peacocks but the top I have from there is really cheap material, so thin.

I am conscious I look increasingly scruffy because my clothes fit so badly and it does get you down.

So you're feeling very down about how you look in clothes and want some help but won't watch short videos that would help.

I mean...don't you think that's a bit self-defeating?

It feels like you don't actually want to change, you just want to moan about it?

Which is fine...but then, don't ask for help 🤷🏻‍♀️

Simply Be - all online, easy to search. I've got some wide leg stretch trousers from there, and lots of long tops. I'm a 5 ft2 size 18 amd while there's lots of style I Don fancy on the site, there's plenty that I do, and is affordable Having some clothes I felt comfortable I has made an enormous difference to my quality of* *life and reduced that horrible self loathing.

Try em, quick delivery too.

@wheresmymojo - if you’re going to take great offence to my not watching videos, at least read what I put. I’m normally more patient than this but I really have no time for the ‘so you said THIS so I will interpret it as THIS and stamp my feet.’

I am not necessarily looking for advice on what suits me. However, all the videos in the world telling me that I need this style of clothing isn’t going to be helpful if I can’t buy this style of clothing, is it? What I seem to need is a bit niche which is professional style maternity wear for a <ahem> larger lady.

Above, I listed the shops I know of that sell maternity clothes and explained why they aren’t really suitable. I’m just wondering if anybody knows other shops that offer a maternity range that aren’t emblazoned with MAMA or similar and don’t assume we all all slim with just a bump - sadly, this isn’t the case for me!

I can watch all the videos in the world but if I can’t buy it it isn’t helpful! I was trying to be polite but I didn’t want the thread filling up with endless videos that I don’t really have time to watch - sorry.

Thanks, @WontLetThoseRobotsDefeatMe - there doesn’t seem to be a maternity section there, though.

www.simplybe.co.uk/shop/s/f?text=maternity&Categories=Activewear&Categories=Hoodies%20%26%20Sweatshirts&Categories=Dresses&Categories=Jeans%20%26%20Trousers&Categories=Tops&Categories=Knitwear&nofollowind=true

I'm a total sausage and missed the pregnancy part, congrats! This should work, just need to filter for size x

If you aren't a typical pregnancy shape can you get away with supermarket larger clothes. Asda & Tesco and some decent stuff most of the time. If you can find some black maternity trousers and a few loose blouses you'll look great