Help me start my whole wardrobe again?

[hentheeighth]

Hi wise style gods, I am in dire need of your help.

I am so so uninspired and unhappy with my wardrobe. Long story short but I have a busy job, small child and have put on a fair bit of weight recently. Things either don't fit, are torn/stained, horribly outdated or loungewear. And nothing goes with anything!

I am going into a small bonus at the end of this month, and I want to use it as an opportunity to completely clear out and refresh my wardrobe, so in my dream scenario I can wake up each morning and have a handful of smart, put together outfit options without too much thinking.

The brief

• Been a while since I did one of the colour quizzes but would say I am autumn - dark hair, light skin but warm undertones.
• About size 16 at the moment. I am hoping to get back down to 12ish but am tired of waiting to lose weight before I bother with nice clothes!
• Work in a professional office job, in the office semi regularly, would love to look effortlessly smart and confident rather than hiding in huge jumpers
• The rest of the time either WFH or looking after DC. But still would like to look presentable rather than in trackies and a rubbish t-shirt!
• Not huge budget, but would be happy to spend £££ on a couple of nice quality pieces and build out with more affordable ones.

Where do I start?! How many of what things would I need to build a whole wardrobe? If like me, you need an excuse to procastinate on the internet, please send me links, brands, designers...

I am planning a shopping spree after payday and will happily come back and update.

Me and Em are generally good quality and great tailoring . Good for building blocks of a capsule wardrobe - expensive end of high street. I’ve heard good things about Arket too.

Perhaps start with good quality basics in neutral colours then branch out to include more individual style touches as and when budget allows. Great thread on how to get a more put together and polished look in MN classics - ‘in pursuit of elegance’ - I found it inspirational, lots of ideas, it might help to get you started. Good luck !

Brill thank you! Will check out the thread

Good - I hope you find it ! I have to confess that I don’t know how to send a link. It suggests ways you can methodically work through your outfits, discover gaps and build up a whole new wardrobe over time as and when budget permits. It helps reduce impulse buys etc.

Look in the good charity shops near you for nice pieces like tops and jumpers that you won’t regret spending money on when you lose weight. Think about what you wear the most and are comfortable in and would consider as basics such as jeans and dresses. Spend money on what goes underneath!

Good tips thanks! I hope I will lose the weight but would love to look good in the meantime, even if I don't! Charity shops work a look though, maybe in a nicer area than mine 😂

@hentheeighth You might be pleasantly surprised at what gems your charity shops might have in terms of good labels at good prices.

I got a pair of Not Your Daughters Jeans for £2 in a charity shop in an economically disadvantaged area.

If you have a John Lewis near you, book a session with one of their stylists. I had one in August and it was great at helping me find brands, fabrics and styles that work for me. I now have a key list of brands that I search for on ebay and Vinted and during the sales.

I keep my wardrobe quite neutral but then add pops of colour when I feel like it. My favourite currently colour 'pop' is a hot pink jumper from Mint Velvet which I can pair with any of my work trousers/tops or just jeans and a t shirt

When my dc was small about 15 years ago i did similar. None of my pre pregnancy work clothes were really suitable & I spent about the first year getting to grips with having her & wearing mismatched pj's, / joggers.

Then I grew sick of that & basically overhauled my wardrobe. I found the easiest way to do it was to buy outfits at a time.
And I bought the absolute best quality I could. So I put aside some money & then bought 2 pairs of cords, 2 shirts, a lovely jumper, a pair of velvet jeans & a long sleeved t-shirt in Jigsaw.

They all mixed & matched so I had several outfits. The next time I bought 7 for all mankind jeans & really nice trainers. Then a spring jacket etc

Bit by bit I built my wardrobe back up with beautiful, quality basics & then I could add in the quirkier bits as I went

Having a wardrobe with 6 or 7 functional, properly fitting clothes from the sort of shops I dressed from pre baby made me feel more like me again. I treated it as my new work wardrobe & took it as seriously as being a mum was my new job!

Agree, you should aim for a complete outfit at a time. Nothing worse than having the perfect skirt with nothing to wear it with.

dont get disheartened in the first day, try on heaps, take photos of what you live so you can remember going back

leave the day with at least a beautiful handbag and a new pair of earrings!

This is exactly what I need! A few good quality pieces at a time. Glad to hear there's hope! 😂

Great tips, nice achievable goals to aim for is what I need! Will report back...

Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance." www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/3797652-thanks-to-s-b-i-m-finally-winning-in-the-pursuit-of-elegance

This is the thread mentioned above. It's one I used when I did a similar overhaul and even now return to.

To add to a PP about buying outfits, I used the idea of scenarios specific to my lifestyle so what would I wear to go shopping/lunch with a friend, to walk the dog, to go for dinner. Then I really narrowed down what I needed and avoided stuff that I loved but honestly I just didn't need for my lifestyle.

i did a session with a stylist before I went back to work after a mat leave- was invaluable - they know how things fit people and saved so much time and heartache - I would def recommend as I am still wearing some pieces 10 yrs later!

Where do you start?

At the beginning.

You say you're aiming to lose weight?

Honestly, a good wardrobe is a long-term plan.

It does take years.

So! Get some stuff for now, don't spend loads, just get some basics that make you feel OK, and then build on that. Ask yourself what you want from your wardrobe. Really.

Then take it slowly. It's not something that happens overnight.

You do have to have a conversation with yourself if you're going to take it seriously.

What do you want from a wardrobe? That really is your first question.

Who are you? Who do you want to be?

You're obviously on a journey to 'Smaller', but what does that mean? How does that look?

Buying 'Outfits' is a really bad idea. Because then you have 'Outfits'

No. You need to buy items. That can build Outfits.

But you have to start with ideas about your life.

I disagree that buying outfits is a bad idea!
I agree that having an idea of what areas of your life you need new clothes for is key.
OP has said she works & has small children so it's not a wild assumption to think she might need some new work clothes & then some nice things suitable for weekends/ after work with the family.

Personally I have 3 parts to my wardrobe. I have work clothes, non work clothes & going out clothes because these are the 3 main activities in my life at the moment.

When my dc was small I didn't work for a number of years & I spent the majority of my time with a small child so my wardrobe reflected this need at that time.

Now my life is in a different place again and the clothes I buy & wear also reflects this now.

For work I wear tapered, tailored trousers from ME+EM or whistles with either a cashmere jumper or silk shirt. Yesterday I had a velvet corduroy boyfriend blazer over the shirt. Suede Chelsea boots. I wouldn't wear these particular clothes minding a toddler or on a Saturday if not working...

Tonight I'm going to a party & will wear a ME+EM lace tunic dress with opaque tights & block heel boots

Outfits work for me because the key is I always mix & match the components.

I also try to buy in blocks for the different areas of my wardrobe but I realise I'm far more drawn to the nice going out stuff so have to watch that tendency as they're the things that get the least wear

I am currently updating my work wardrobe as some things are now getting tired & I've just ordered 3 pairs of trousers.

A couple of weeks ago I bought some new knitwear & tops.

Next I'll need to look at my more casual weekend day time stuff etc

Once OP has 3 x outfits for work that can be mixed & matched & built on & that give her confidence then she can work on the casual daily stuff

I've recently changed jobs to a more young & 'trendy' environment which I'm never going to be! I'm not competing with the young uns at my age but I've bought plain transitional pieces from the following shops:
M&S, MANGO, COS, ARKET, H&M, Finery, Thought.

www.pinterest.co.uk/stylebookapp/capsule-wardrobe-tips/

Look at capsule wardrobes on Pinterest.

My dc are now 11 and 14 and I did much the same 10 years or so ago.

As well as charity shops, Vinted etc I follow High Street Outlet on FB, who sell ex season stuff. There is a lot of not-great stuff on there, but I've also picked up a great Seasalt linen shirt, Banana Republic jumpers and Crew Clothing tops at very low prices.

I also wfh/office in a professional role. I do like a good white shirt and plain trousers in various shades of black, grey and blue, but I have a few "neat" fine knit jumpers in bright colours for when I'm not up to date on the ironing!

Thank you, some things to think about. I do want to lose weight but to be honest that's not the first priority. I just want to be confident and comfortable in my own skin regardless whether I lose weight or not!

You're right though about not spending loads if sizes are likely to change

This exactly what I'm aiming for - thank you! Seen a couple of recommendations for ME+EM now so will be taking a look...

Oooh, i did this and enjoyed it, but yes, it took years.

Start by doing a harsh wardrobe cleanse 1) does it fit well now, 2) do i enjoy wearing it, 3) do i like how it looks on me (yes this is a separate question to 2!), 4) is it in good condition. Only keep items that tick all these boxes. Hopefully your left with a few items!

Next, so the remaining items suit a style i like? If yes then build around them, if not then start buying in the new style.

I started this about 4 ish years ago, maybe 5. Some of the things i bought to begin with did not end up being kept as it took some time to refine my preferences. So it's best to anticipate that there will be some waste.

For starters though have a think about someone or a pic you like and fine or what the style is called. You can then find out (mn can help) where to shop for that style. Enjoy! Fire me is been so worth the investment, i love getting dressed, love my clothes in a way i haven't enjoyed since i was a teen.

I don’t rate Me and Em, they have polyester shite masquerading as high end suiting. For the prices they charge I want wool.

if you’re on a budget, try Uniqlo and M&S. I also think it’s worth buying outfits. Have a look on Pinterest for capsule wardrobe ideas that will help you buy items that work for multiple outfits.

My basic outfit categories are: Family weekends, work days and nights out.

I love a midi wrap dress. You can dress down with trainers and denim jacket, night out with boots and a leather jacket and office wear with a blazer or on its own.