What the hell do I wear?

[Caitcheshire]

Probably massively over reacting but would appreciate any talking down right now.

Ive a somewhat unexpected family occasion next weekend, involving a six hour drive, very long walk and sitting in someone’s house for the evening and then drive home the next day - and I have no idea what to wear.

The family member I’m visiting is a massively judgemental arse and his wife is an even bigger judgemental arse - I’ve recently broken up with someone, my self confidence is at an all time low and I just want to sit around all the other very well put together people and not feel like shit for once.

rather pathetically I’ve reached my early 40s with the ability to only dress well for work or joggers on a weekend, looking casual yet put together on a weekend has never really worked for me.

I’m short and round to be realistic - size 24/26 all boobs and stomach. Have put weight on over the last few years and this is probably my wake up call.

What would anyone else wear for something like this? I’d love some ideas.

Do you have to go? Not because of picking an outfit but because if you're recovering from a breakup then you want to be doing stuff that makes you feel good.

What do you feel comfortable in?

Is the walk likely to be somewhere muddy? Ot are trainers going to be ok?

Why are you going?
Anyway, your choice. What kind of colours and shapes do you prefer? Trousers or skirt?

Unfortunately it’s a complete none negotiable - I’m driving half the family up there.

trainers are going to be fine hopefully, it’s not up and down mountains thank god!

either full blown corporate or three sizes too big pjs is my comfort level, there’s very little in between.

How about some wide legged trousers with a comfy waistband? You could wear a tunic top over it, and maybe a soft knit on top? Layering is good for the long journey, and breaks up the silhouette. Choose quite strong colour because that's always good for confidence! What's your budget?

I'm a tiny bit smaller than you, 50 and have had tons of complements lately wearing leather look leggings and a neon leopard print shirt with Chelsea boots. I got mine from Kit and Kaboodle it's quite a brave look might not be for you. I had so many compliments on the outfit I bought the shirt in all 5 colourways.

This sounds perfect, OP would this kind of thing work for you?

id get some decent leggings for walking and a 3/4 length waterproof coat

but more than anything I’d get a big dose of confidence. How fucking sad is your relation to have nothing better to focus on than what someone else is wearing? Hold your head high and hope you’re feeling a bit better soon

dress

orthis

With a blazer or long coat, tights and chunky boots

Hi, if you can do corporate, you can definitely do this. I think you just need to throw a little cash at it.

Have you looked at John Lewis , they have plus size category on their website. Also they do either zoom or in person, personal styling. I’ve had it and I can really recommend it for finding new outfits. It’s a free service you only pay for what you buy.
They had some lovely stuff on the website.

I would look for some fun boots, I love Gabor, always comfy, soft trousers, long cardigan and a tunic type top. Also maybe a lovely bag and scarf etc.

Also what about a spray of nice perfume, get your nails and hair done, the day before, it will give you a lift, treat yourself, you are worth it.

The other thing I’ve done is to have a makeup lesson at one of the nice counters eg Bobbi brown, I’ve then bought the makeup.

Hope that helps, I will look for some ideas.

www.johnlewis.com/spanx-the-perfect-pant-trousers-black/p109188033
i'd start with a comfy pair of trousers, buy the right size especially for the drive.
then i'd pack two or three tops (one for the drive up, a fancier one for dinner one for drive home).
if you have room in a travel bag i would go home in new lounge wear. nice clean joggers and top.
black pumps and pack new slipper for indoors.

I am just a little bit smaller than you and a few years older.

I think a dollop of confidence is the main thing (this couple sound like utter cunts), can you make sure you have hair, make up, perfume, bag and jewellery that you like, and shaped eyebrows and manicured nails and all that? On the plus side, at least if you are staying you can drink. Take some snacks and maybe gin in a tin so you can have a quiet boost if you need it.

Being appropriately dressed massively helps though, I recently did a wardrobe overhaul and did get a bit of help from a stylist. Semi skinny or well fitted slim/straight dark trousers and slightly fitted shirts and tops in brighter colours, not too thin material and just long enough to cover my stomach, but not so long they dwarf my legs are what seem to work best. (in am a 22/25 WIP)

what I have found work so far

M and S Eva jeans, M and S straight cords.

Seasalt Larissa shirts in the day (avoiding the twee patterns), and various from Mango, River Island, m and S, Vera moda, Wallis

Mostly wallis monsoon and mango for evening tops

Seasalt for jumpers. M and as for coats.

All of these are quite generous in sizing so 24 should fit you well, I don’t think you’ll need the 26.

It’s not super exciting but I am a good bit more pulled together than I was.

The weather is still shitty so take walking boots rather than trainers and a good waterproof coat with a hood and gloves, change for the evening and keep in mind you might get wet on the walk, and will anyway want to look nice at breakfast so you will need another outfit for that. If this is the country house weekend it sounds like, bring a new outfit for each activity, partly because mud, and partly because it’s just what people do and so it will give you confidence.

If you feel the cold, big country houses can be chilly so make sure you have something warm for the evening - although you will probably want to flaunt your terrific cleavage so maybe a shawl you can drape.

If you’d like a stylist name do PM.

Oh yes, I would second the Bobbi brown counter makeovers.

Live unlimited also quite good, and fat face

If they're that judgemental surely they'll judge you whatever?

So rock up in your PJs, May as well give them something to talk about.

If you spend money and mental effort on putting together an outfit, they'll still judge and you'll feel even more shit.

However, that's obviously not what you want to do, SO!

Wide leg jersey trousers, fairly casual but simple jersey short-sleeved T shirt that skims a bit (always size up rather than down), then something a bit more structured on top, simple blazer with no fuss, single breastfed, slightly longer length, but I'd have you T at a lower level so it creates a longer line. Then trainers.

Try to make clean lines, no fuss pattern or frills.

Make sure your underwear fits, nothing that digs in, big and smooth is best, not shapewear just nice big pants and a well-fitting bra.

Should see you right!

www.johnlewis.com/live-unlimited-faux-leather-skinny-trousers-black/p109331108
www.johnlewis.com/chesca-zip-detail-stretch-trousers/black/p4793086 this has lots of ways they have styled so loads of ideas
www.johnlewis.com/chesca-fringed-wrap/black/p5747861

www.johnlewis.com/chesca-velvet-trousers/claret/p6388202

www.johnlewis.com/live-unlimited-swirl-print-midi-dress-purple-multi/p109717661
www.johnlewis.com/live-unlimited-longline-hooded-cardigan/black/p109364457
www.johnlewis.com/live-unlimited-leopard-print-flute-sleeve-midi-dress-pink/p109263074

Gabor boots
www.johnlewis.com/gabor-newport-wide-fit-leather-chelsea-boots-black/p5099409

I don't think those Chesca trousers would be good for OP, they are quite low cut, OP says her stomach is where her weight is distributed. Better to get a soft deep waistband that goes over the stomach and then a soft top that comes lower down. Nothing too structured on the bits that OP is feeling conscious about. Keep it fluid close to the body and then add a bit of excitement with the outerwear.