Any tips on how to not look so knackered and grey all the time?!

[moonfacebaby]

I may be beyond all help….

What I’m working with:

1. Just turned 51, menopausal - but generally get enough sleep
2. Largely eat well - I’d say I’m good at eating a wide range of foods, plenty of veg etc. I don’t low carb, or cut anything out
3. BMI is around 22, so I guess ideal weight (I’d like to shift a few pounds but it’s not an issue really).
4. Blonde hair (only way to deal with so much grey hair), Green/blue eyes, relatively pale
5. I do wear make up - mostly cream stuff, brightening primers, brown mascara, bronzer and blusher
6. skincare is good - always take my make up off, I use retinol and moisturiser at night (with an eye cream), vit c/ebf serum and moisturiser in the morning
7. occasional St Tropez self tanning face mist (but not sure it’s making much of a difference these days).

I look tired and grey. I think I’m probably struggling with seeing the effects of ageing on my face (largely puffy eye bags - this is the big issue).

I feel weird about the idea of Botox or fillers - not sure I can afford it and a big part of me hates the way women feel like they have to do this because ageing is seen as a bad thing (yeah, I get the irony of this as I’m sat here typing this, moaning about my ageing face….the pressure we face to stay looking as young as we can is pervasive and hard to resist!).

Are there any tricks to looking fresher? Disguising eye bags??

I’ve tried rollering with one the jade things, bought a peach shade Pixi under eye thing….I suspect I am beyond all help, other than a good talking to myself to accept where my face is. I’m alive, in good health so really, I should love my face and be happy with it!

Liquid collagen is arriving today (I bought this primarily for some achy joints), I’m having spirulina and maca in some kefir every morning (I am essentially trying all the voodoo out there - I am turning into a marketing persons wet dream).

Has anything worked for you? Happy to hear about Botox/fillers too (if you can include the cost, much appreciated - my face might suddenly look a lot better to me when I see how much money you have to fork out!)

If you exercise until your face sweats, 2-3 times a week (like a jog or a dance class) your skin will have a wonderful healthy glow.

If you aren’t able medically to do fast exercise maybe try sauna.

Ageing and (how we look as a result of it) is based not only on our genetics, but our lifestyle too. Quitting smoking full stop will be the single best thing you can do for your skin.

HRT will help your aching joints - it's your fluctuating/declining levels of oestrogen that are the cause. Drinking liquid collagen or taking supplements in this instance does very little.

In terms of looking less grey and knackered, using something like Skin & Me will help, ditto an LED mask will. I use both and my skin is noticeably more glowy and plump. Maybe a professional facial peel might be something to consider if you're concerned about greyness and skin texture.

Stop smoking, take some exercise meeting WHO guidelines
Get your colours done, it may be that grey hair will suit your colouring better than fake blonde. And accept looking 50 odd years old, think of all the lovely things you could spend your money on instead of snake oil potions which are marketed to prey on (mainly women's) fear of the natural ageing process. My personal top tip is to look in the mirror less (although frequently enough to catch the fast growing chin hairs 😫)

Two wins for you, one harder one easier:

1. Stop smoking. Even if you are smoking only 2 a day, you are reinforcing the line wrinkles round the mouth, all smokers look older and greyer than they would otherwise, even if only 'light' smokers. Plus it's shown in studies that smokers that cut right down often smoke those particular cigarettes harder (it's called titration) so you can get enough nicotine, otherwise you would just quit! I used to work with smokers and all look better without exception after quitting, and it's most noticeable in middle-age.
2. Wear light colours near your face. So easy, I hit on this a few years ago (I'm early fifties). Can be something cheap like in winter a thick cream scarf wrapped around your neck for going out, I love colours like cream, beige, pinky-grey, light green, some of these may wash you out, depends on your own colouring but wearing a lot of black/dark colours next to your face can really wash you out, especially in winter. I love a black padded coat and boots as much as the next person but I'm aware it doesn't freshen me up in the same way as wearing my cream knee-length coat, cream scarf and beige clumpy boots do. Same for Zoom/Teams meetings!

Try sweating most days, 5 out of 7. Could be a hiit workout or a very brisk walk (half an hour minimum. It can work wonders.

Also it’s genuinely worth getting your brows tinted and threaded and a lash lift and tint.

A subtle facial tanner might help?

I'd say if you are ok the slimmer side, a lack of fat on your face. As we get older we lose fat around our eyes and cheeks, and muscles start to droop.

Also maybe some vitamin c toner to get a glow. A retinol will definitely improve things.

Thanks for all the advice - I’m going to give up the cigarettes for sure.

As you are intending, giving up smoking and possibly consider HRT patches such as Evorel Sequi or Evorel. It sounds like you have had a lot of pressure and change, I wonder if going for acupuncture or massages would help, Other than that you could consider surgery, but that is probably a nuclear option. I wonder if you look better than you think, lots of women your age are overweight.

I like the effect IPL light masks have. Seems to soften 11s between eyes and on neck. Improved skin condition. I have a handheld 'light stim' but see boots now have own mask which looks good.
I did try a course of caci facials when I felt like you describe but even though I used an experienced practitioner I felt it made me look worse round the eyes so stopped them!

As others have said quit smoking, maybe consider HRT, drink loads of water, do some exercise outdoors - all of these things will help.
With make up, I'm beginning to find less is more as I age. Full foundation and lots of eyeshadow seems to age me now. I like just a little bit of tinted moisturiser or BB cream and a bit of an Illuminating concealer instead of foundation. Having said that, more blusher is good if you're feeling washed out. And a bright lipstick.