I am pale as pale can be and the best so far for me is theJohnson's Holiday skin stuff - the paler version for goths like me. not orange at all and easy peasy to put on.
the effect I'm after is 'alive' rather than actually tanned and it works for me
agree exfoliation is THE most important thing. for face I have some fancy Australian organic stuff and one of those little face brush things
tinted moisturiser - have given up, most are orange on me.
bronzers - the benefit ones are very good
having asked for fake tan, actually I wouldn't bother in the winter anyway, but it's summer here and needs must