How do I work out what my style is?

[Invisablewoman]

I have no idea where to start.

I’m late 40s and just don’t feel like I know what suits me or what to buy anymore. I’ve made a bit of a new year pledge to try and downsize my wardrobe and focus on a few good quality things rather than randomly buying ‘stuff’ that I then never wear as I feel crap in it.

I’ve got a slim frame but big boobs and a tummy. Fair complexion. 5ft 4. I wear a lot of black, grey, navy. Bit of animal print in muted colours.

If I wear brighter colour it tends to be jewel colours.

Just got rid of a wardrobe full of tunics as although I can hide in them they make me feel mumsy and frumpy.

I think my ideal would be classic with a bit of edge here and there but can’t work out how to achieve this.

I think style is part what suits you and part what you feel comfortable in and you're lucky if they are the same!

For the what suits there are plenty of websites, systems, books or even stylist sessions.

For inspiration I tend to use YouTube, watching videos of people whose style I like. Not necessarily intending to emulate completely but just to get my eye in. A few people I like watching: Trinny Woodall, Audrey Coyne, Erin Busbee, Lydia Jane Tomlinson, Melissa Murrell.

A seasonal style colour palette helps in putting outifts together, the colours you've mentioned suggest maybe Winter but whether that's actually what suits you.

By mid 40s black and grey either make people look timelessly stylish (helps if you're not pale to start with) OR like death warmed up.

The biggest thing I've learnt is the importance of boring basic pieces that hold outfits together. I'm more likely to buy a teal Chanel style cardigan and then wonder why I don't get the wear and it's not that versatile.

I use Pinterest for inspiration with outfits in a style I like. When it comes to buying clothes I think about whether it fits with that style.

So what would you search on Pinterest?

tobee I put winter 2023 fashion and see what comes up. I know what look I like so I save that and then the algorithm picks up other similar type looks.

I think this is a really good question. The best advice (and one that I followed) was to be really brutally honest with yourself, declutter the stuff that you didn't wear (or made you look less than great) and look at what you actually do wear. I did the following:

Pulled all my clothes out (not the ones out of season, though, just current season) and picked out the ones I liked most/wore the most/felt the best in. Then I looked at the general theme of those and what they told me. For me, the outfits I best liked were trousers and jeans, few dresses but no skirts. Lots of neutral, some print but nothing ditsy/dainty/overly feminine. I gravitated towards oversized, slightly boxy, but also certain necklines and dress lengths etc. I made a list of things that suited me (v-necks, highnecks, over the knee, high-waisted etc) and what I liked (stripes, neutrals, bright red, bright green) and what I didn't (skinny fit trousers, crewnecks, florals, maxi dresses, pastels)

I then decluttered heavily. I got rid of things I didn't feel good in, and what went against my likes. There was a lot, and I didn't miss any of it. I also did declutter stuff I wore, but which realistically made me look not so great (like skin-tight vest tops - a slightly looser fit is much more flattering to me)

I then made a pinterest board of people who dressed the way I liked, or clothes I saw online which I felt drawn to, and found parallels in those. I added a few things on my shopping wish list. I was really critical with what I bought.

So my wardrobe looks quite different at the start of 2023 than it did in 2022. I've kind of defined my style as classic/edgy/minimal. For example, I have a cream lace top but I would only ever pair it with black leather, which makes it quite edgy. Paired with a floral skirt for example it would be way too cutesy.

I think finding your style takes a bit of trial and error, but a good way to start is to really think what you currently have that makes you feel good and comfortable and go from there. I follow a few youtubers and instagrammers who reflect my style and I get lots of tips from them.

This is something I've always found tricky!

Something that has worked for me is to identify a few celebrities whose style I admire, and that I'm not too dissimilar to in terms of age and body type (Sienna Miller is one). I'll then create a folder of images, and write a list of key items to buy. I try and focus on pieces that are easy to wear, rather than those I would only wear on limited occasions.

Pintrest and Insta is very useful!

Thank you! I’ve just decluttered and now have a lots of jeans and oversized jumpers that I can hide in. Hopefully by the end of this exercise I’ll grow in confidence a bit. Love the sound of cream lace with leather! 😊

I’ll try and find some style icons that are short, busty and middle aged that look chic/classic but with a bit of an edge 😃