Smarter clothes for pre-teen with sensory sensitivities

[AdventAdventure]

My DD, 11, is autistic and very sensitive to clothes. I’ve realised we’ve reached a point where she really doesn’t have any smarter outfits for if we’re going somewhere nice. I’m thinking a smarter outfit for a bit of an occasion, Christmas dos, or similar. Not super smart like a wedding.

I’m finding her current age very difficult to shop for as she’s tall so in the teen ranges, but her style is not teen style. She won’t wear jeans or anything denim. She hates anything too fitted around her middle, so dresses are difficult unless completely A Line from the bust. Tights are a huge no. She lives in leggings and T-shirts but plain cotton, if they are embellished they are a big no.

I’m fine with her wearing just a slightly smarter version of leggings and top, but where do you get good, smart leggings that aren’t covered in sequins or something for a tall 11 year old? She’s too tall for the M&S leggings now which were always my go to. But she’s not really the right shape for moving into small women’s sizes. She used to like jumpsuits but they’ve got a bit fancy now and don’t seem as popular in the shops.

Any suggestions would be gratefully received.

Actually I think I’m wrong on the M&S leggings, I think they have bigger sizes online. But I’d still like some alternatives. And suggestions for nice things to wear over the top of them.

No suggestions, but your Daughter sounds very much like my own who just turned 12. I’ll watch with interest as she desperately needs new clothes. It is a challenge - you have my sympathy.

Nobody seems to have ideas @EverydayEssentials. But if I come across anything good I'll post it here. Now I've found that M&S do their leggings online up to age 16 I'm going to get some of them. I thought these would look good: www.marksandspencer.com/cotton-rich-paint-splat-leggings-6-16-yrs-/p/clp60560412

I just need to see if I can find a pair in any size in a shop so I can feel whether it's a scratchy decoration. And hope they stand up to washing as the last pair with a metallic colour decoration on the colour washed off immediately.

I get annoyed because I see nice dresses she could wear over leggings but everywhere is still doing those waists and cuffs which are just thin elastic stitched in to give it shape. She hates them. I think it feels like razor wire to her.

Boden might be worth looking at. I have a slightly younger (but tall & slim) DD who doesn't like tights, or the texture of sequins etc etc etc. she has a brushed cotton dress from Boden from last year which would fit the bill. It's smart enough for semi-formal occasions but soft enough for her to actually wear it.

My DD13 has ASD and ADHD and super sensitive about clothes too.
We managed to find some smarter black cargo pants which are soft cotton etc. I think it was Pineapple brand but there are a lot of cargo pants around.

I would look at jersey dresses to go over leggings for a smarter outfit, it's my go to for work! If she's talking, check out ladies clothes in size 6/8 as they may suit her better.

None of my dresses have cuffs or tight waists, hate elastic

Unfortunately Boden don't do anything big enough anymore. She's nearly as tall as me, she must be 5ft2 or something. They have barely anything in their age 14 size and they stopped doing the teen range.

Jersey dresses were always my go to @gogohmm but I'm finding it so hard to find any without those thin elastic waists.

Size 6 womens clothes. My just turned 12 year old is 5ft2 and a size 6 is 12-13yrs with better length.

Maybe Uniqlo? Their kids range goes up to age 13, and they're generally good for some flowing, loose-fitting jersey clothes.

Mango and zara both do nice leggings in their kids/teen range. I suspect your daughter would fit in the smallest womens size too.

Zara does 'soft touch' clothing too. Not sure if this is a style your daughter would like www.zara.com/uk/en/soft-touch-dress-p05039728.html?v1=202478336&v2=2115489

Oh thank you, some good ideas there. And useful info on the women's sizes as I have tried to work out what she could wear from them. I'm definitely going to have a look at Zara.

What about a jumper dress and leggings with nice boots but would also work with trainers if boots are a problem too. Next usually have some nice ones

Jumper dresses are tricky because they are often a bit too itchy or have necks that are cut a bit too high. It's a minefield! I have found a sweater dress at Zara though, which while it's not smart as such it's quite cool looking and I'd be fine with her wearing it. I don't mind if she's a more casual than others, I mostly just want her to feel nice herself.

Also as she's started secondary this year it's nice to have some outfits that are a bit more of a teen look in case she does any social events. I'm grateful that the big sweatshirt look is in!

Have you tried Monki? They have a super soft range. www.monki.com/en_gbp/clothing/super-soft-edit.html

They have a long t shirt dress which has no waist and a few colours: www.monki.com/en_gbp/clothing/dresses/maxi-dresses/product.long-t-shirt-dress-black.0950876001.html

She could wear it with a cardigan and boots, with leggings underneath if she doesn't like tights.

I was going to suggest Uniqlo. My autistic teen likes their stuff because they use a lot of soft fabric and do wide leg trousers ( he can't stand anything tight on his legs)

Ralph Lauren polo dresses, my eldest lived in them until she was 20. They do long-sleeved, they do short-sleeved you can pick them up on eBay. I always sort of had one brand-new one per season and then the rest came off eBay but the great thing is as well unlike most clothes that you buy for children if you look after them you can probably sell them back for the same as you bought them for.

Next have some longer length leggings / jeggings in some styles in girls’ clothing - search form - good for tall slim girls

My DD is very similar - won’t wear jeans at all, and hates knitted dresses and uncomfortable fabrics. She lives in Gap leggings. She currently has several beautiful soft ones. There is a big choice. She is now aged 14, tall and slim, and wears an adult size 8, but the age 13+ (XXL) children’s size should be fine for your DD, or even the 12-13.

You need H and M 8-14 range; particularly their organic range. Try on lots. They’re very texture driven and I help dress my neice twice a year who sounds very similar.

I agree Uniqlo. I’ve been buying my asd dd clothes from the kids range for a few years now. She’s now 13 and 5’8” and we’ve moved to small women’s sizes

I have one of these. Leggings, t shirt, hoodie. I have similar sensory issues and it is tough.

Mine has nothing smart! She wears all black a lot and likes jewellery so her smart is black leggings, black t shirt and silver necklace and/or earrings. It actually looks ok

She's almost 13 now and about 5ft 4 with a definite pair of jugs despite being pretty skinny. Plays a lot of sport too so quite muscular. She's a 6/8 in womens stuff, kids stuff not right and more.

My 12 year old is tall and very thin with similar issues with clothes not 'feeling right'. I bought some things from ASOS. The petite range is really good and some things start at size 2. I got her some black flared trousers from there which feel like leggings but are more dressy, which she loves.

Is it worth having a look at popsy-type dresses to wear over leggings? The flat front Jersey ones might look lovely and they don't have weird sleeves or waists.