Random observations from shopping centre today

[EmmaH2022]

I have just been to a shopping centre for the first time in about ten years. It was for mum rather than me. I don't really go to shops in person.

For no reason at all, I thought I'd share the morning's observations. I did a lot of observing today, normally I never do it.

1. cashmere - thought this would be the height of luxury but the M&S cashmere jumpers really didn't impress me. Looks like they'd bobble as well. My jumpers are a much cheaper fabric, probably polyester, and look better? I wasn't expecting that.

2. ageless dressing - I appear to have been doing this by accident, except last week I got a leopard print coat online and it seems that younger people don't wear animal print? I vaguely had that in my head when I ordered it. And today I overheard a lady in Zara saying that "only mums wear animal print". I am 46 but not a mum and still jump out of my skin a bit at the idea that I'm not 22 😂

3. slim women with smooth hair look good in pretty much everything. Colours, prints, plains, neutrals. Anything. I guess they just always look nice.

4. the oversized trend is a problem for a lot of short women. I think a lot of us are wearing lightweight coats that we'd like to be about six inches shorter but they aren't many available and that goes back to last year?

I am trying to lose weight but really got to accelerate that. Also, maybe I should get a Meghan Markle type treatment for my hair. I don't want to lose the curl though, just the frizz. But it makes such a difference. My hair doesn't grow as fast as it used to so it might be worth doing, as I won't have so much of a problem with frizzy regrowth.

here end my random observations.

Agree with you on the oversized trend. As a short slightly overweight person it all looks terrible on me. I need proper fitted clothes. Looking at coats on ebay that our a few years old and so much nicer in that they actually go in at the waist.

I’m so out of touch I didn’t realise that oversized was a thing. That explains why everything I’ve ordered online recently looks like a tent and has sleeves that you could take flight with.

And, yes, cashmere boggles like a bastard.

Boggles?

Bobbles, bloody autocorrect.

You can get cashmere combs to remove bobbles. The thing is, cashmere does a much better job of keeping you warm (and warming you up) than any man made fibre.

I wouldn’t say leopard has been properly properly out but it seems to be having a resurgence this season.

I keep noticing how poor quality coats and jumpers are - I guess production costs have risen so much. Everything has the acrylic-y / polyester-y sheen - was in M&S today and so much I wouldn’t consider buying because it looks so cheap (and I shop loads in New Look / H&M etc, am no label snob).

Oversized works for me within reason because I’m tall, but I do find myself in the smallest size of some stuff wondering who on earth it’s aimed at

I do now tend to feel that young slim people look good in anything, and I wish I had appreciated this more when I was younger and slimmer ;) I quite enjoy people watching in shopping centres also.

The oversized trend really is a bit mad. For the first time, I’ve managed to buy some shirts that do up over my bust. But I have to buy XS otherwise I’d be swamped. Everything is absolutely enormous. I’m a 10, no idea what anyone smaller is doing. You see lots of reviews on M&S online wondering why everything is so big. Odd really given the economic situation since more fabric is being called for. There’s a fine line between ‘I just threw this on… actually have I lost weight?’ to looking like a bag lady.

I don’t know what the oversized trend is. I suppose I haven’t been buying lately. I agree about the quality. I was looking at some teddy coats/fake fur (are they hopelessly dated already?), and they were so rough and unpleasant to touch. The smooth ones in the £300 range, a bit pricey for me.

Oh just a tip for the hair thing, ANSWR on IG is fantastic. I have frizzy curly hair and it’s better than when I get keratin treatment done in the salon! I love it! rather pay £40 at home and do it than pay salon prices ☺️

Not just slim but tall. Every time I notice a woman who looks really stylish she is tall and slim - willowy is the term, it doesn’t matter how much weight I lose I can’t get past 5’5.

Itstime Doesn't Answr kill the curl though?

Lady I don't know about the teddy coats but have you tried QVC for fake fur? You'd have to pay P&P if you don't like it.

Re the oversize trend, I bought a jacket in a small earlier this year. I'm size 16 to 18. Well, whatever sizes mean. But following the chest measurement, that's what I ended up with. If I'm buying that, a size 10 would need an extra extra small, which they didn't have. It's ridiculous.

I do really miss the days of being slim, just stick jeans and a top on and look good. I don't find age is connected.

Also, fabric has clearly changed a lot. Some things I see online and think "not a natural fabric" but actually acrylic and even polyester have changed a lot.

There are a couple of oversize things I've seen online that might be worth ordering if I can get a tailor to shorten them. Ridiculous to have to. I've got a few work things where I will need to be very well turned out, so instead of searching for properly petite things, it might be better.

Yes, I agree, but my height and slim still looks good in most things.

before I got fat, I just wanted to be taller!

@EmmaH2022 thanks, I’d never considered QVC. That’s one of the problems now with all these shops having closed, the Debenhams, the House of Frasers etc. There’s nowhere to go and try things on, feel the texture etc. I had a look in Next online (ad helpfully provided in this MN thread lol) which seem to have a huge range nowadays, but I don’t want the hassle of ordering and sending back and I just know they won’t have them in store. That’s one of the few shops still around nearby. That and Primark and second hand shops. It’s dire.

There’s an article in today’s Guardian that hair straightening products are associated with an increase in uterine cancer risk. Take that with the usual pinch of salt, but something to bear in mind.

Re the curl/frizz, I love curly hair and have really embraced mine in the last few years.
A few tips:
Get a proper curly cut from a hairdresser specifically trained in it. It's a bit more expensive but totally worth it.

Look at the products you use- are they for curly hair? Boucleme and cantu are great, also 'only curls'. Even the poundshop thx brand is really good for curls. Do a deep condition regularly with a mask for curls (I adore the coco and Eve mask but at £30+ a tub it's pricey and lasts me 3-5 uses on mid-long hair)

Gel and diffuse to dry after a wash. Diffusing adds volume as well as taming the frizz. I'm using boucleme gel at the moment and it's amazing. But previously had an only curls bundle of cleanser, conditioner, curl cream and gel that was fab.

www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/oct/17/hair-straightening-products-may-increase-risk-of-uterine-cancer article here

www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/oct/17/hair-straightening-products-may-increase-risk-of-uterine-cancer article here

any idea whether UK and US straightening products are the same? The US doesn’t have as strict rules as UK/EU on what chemicals are allowed so I wonder if we would see the same in the UK. The article doesn’t say what exactly they think is responsible, so it could be one of a hundred things.

@Itstime1 what’s the answer thing? Dd has very chlorine damaged hair (she’s been in the pool nearly every day from age 7, now it’s twice a day sessions and her hair is fried)

What is this please?
IG Instagram?

Who does the oversized trend work on? Is it just skinny people? I've got huge boobs so everything just hangs from them and makes me look pregnant at the best of times.

Ive just got my cashmere out, it is so much warmer than any other fabric whilst being thin enough to layer or fit under a nice coat. Uniqlo is good Quality and value. I do struggle with how to make it look stylish though, just looks very safe and school teacher!

I went to a shopping centre at the weekend specifically to look at what jeans people were wearing and what footwear went with them. Very few people I liked the look of though, still lots of students in skinnies and white trainers.

I have curly hair. Keratin treatment was not the answer, obviously it straightened it but not enough to not style it whilst also making it flat as hell.

If I'm being curly I'm on the old fashioned curly girl method - scrunch non-silicone gel into soaking wet hair then scrunch with a smooth cloth, break up the crunch with a hair cream once it's dry. I can go to bed at the dry crunchy stage then just do a couple of minutes with cream on a morning and I'm there.

If going straight I use an oil and Dyson air wrap soft brush which directs the heat down the shaft of the hair no matter how crap you are at drying it.

Japanese women are petite and slim and make the oversized trend work well. Though they generally dress conservatively from their 20's onwards and then get a bit more adventurous as they get older. Just my observation when I visit.

I use L'Oréal Steampod 3 to straighten. I ditched the Brazilian Blowdrys. They left my hair too lank and greasy. My curly hair looks dreadful after chemo and menopause.

Oversized is good for hiding from pervy men!

LadywithLapdog I appreciate that online suits me better because I hate shops and work at home!

Zalando have 90 day returns (free) and lots of brands. QVC is 60 day returns, not free, but also you can wear it out, wash it etc, make sure it isn't bobbling. You can wear shoes outside.

I don't shop often but did a big job lot shop in spring this year from those two places.

Re ANSWR, I just looked at the website, not Instagram.

I am looking for a magic solution that involves very little effort so I might try this, but I'd have to buy straighteners. I am going to a proper hairdresser this week but general,y don't bother as there's always a point where the hair is growing and is a pain.

It might be time to have hair tied back mostly, when leaving the house, that's probably the fastest solution.

Oversized is for emphasising how slim the slim people are IMHO!

The oversized trend has been around a while - pre Covid at least. If you can make the French tuck work you can make that style work even if you’re curvy / have big boobs by showing a portion of your waist. I also roll up sleeves to show my wrists which stops me looking like a fridge.
Cashmere sweaters beats acrylic all day long… my synthetic sweater from Stories has aged far more than cashmere sweaters I’ve had over 10 years. If you try mens cashmere sweaters you can avoid the “lady” look you get with some womens sweaters. I’ve had a few mens cashmere sweaters out of charity shops which have been great buys. (If you learn how to fix holes there are some great bargains to be had.)

There are a couple of oversize things I've seen online that might be worth ordering if I can get a tailor to shorten them. Ridiculous to have to. I've got a few work things where I will need to be very well turned out, so instead of searching for properly petite things, it might be better."

@EmmaH2022 it's not ridiculous at all! It's actually much better to buy the best quality you can (works for all budgets from Vinted to Vestiaire Collective) and pay to get it altered. Your clothes will last longer as they're better quality and you can keep and alter if your shape changes (obviously this is easier to go smaller, rather than bigger but some seams can be let out etc). The fabrics are better (quality as they're not cheap shit polyester turned out in a factory, where people earn peanuts) and then shipped overseas. The other benefit for smaller people is that vintage sizes are smaller and tend to fit better. Charity shops in affluent areas are also good (but of course we need to pay for the transport to get to these areas ) We have an exchange agency in an area like this and it's great. It's an investment as well, if you buy the best you can and look after it it will hold its value and you can resell it if you want to buy other stuff. Vinted is amazing for good brands (seems to have taken over from eBay) and you can always ask sellers for measurements. I'd much much rather buy one good item and pay for alterations than spend ages and money (and time) sending shit stuff back.

Of course it's even better/cheaper to do your own alterations but that's an initial investment in a machine and ideally an adjustable mannequin and the time spent in learning how to do (and you may still be shit at it like me ).

If I actually manage to get out of the house today I will be wearing a faux fur coat I paid about £90 for (when I earned better money!) in the late 90s. I had it taken up for free at the time so it's a good fit. It's such soft velvety fabric, has pockets and hook fastenings all down the front. I've just spent £17 having it dry cleaned as it's been stored over Summer. Even with the cost of dry cleaning (and the years in which I was too pregnant to wear it!) the cost per wear is amazing. Plus as it's from the 90s my DDs think it's great A similar one sold for £300 on eBay the other week.

I would rather buy cheaper second hand clothes and pay for alterations and dry cleaning than buy new, especially with the current fashions (that oversized trend is so bizarre, especially with the flounces and frills!) I also think women should dress for their style not fashion but this post is long enough without sidetracking into that