Do you look how you feel?

[crochetmonkey74]

Went out with a very old friend and her new partner and SC (teenager)

Me and friend grew up together both very low income benefits families- was quite traumatic.

Anyway - she rang me after the day out and said her new SC had said -"is crochetmonkey posh?"

She guffawed and said no absolutely not- and her new partner said he also thought I was posh as I had nice clothes and I smelt posh (Aldi pomegranate)

I was just thinking I spend my life still feeling the same as when I was a kid - scruffy, frumpy, not quite good enough but clearly- I don't look this way.

This is not a stealth boast AT ALL - I'm just starting to think maybe my inner person and my outer person don't match anymore. Anyone had similar?

I feel like i'm about 143 years old, but frequently (and quite annoyingly) get told how well/young I look.

I have chronic pain and feel horrendous most of the time but people always think I look well and healthy and are amazed when I tell them. I'm amazed I don't look horrific

It's weird isn't it ? Such a difference in how you feel/look. Makes me think of all those models and actresses who we all think are beautiful but are probably feeling similar

I watched a video of myself recently talking when I didn't know I was being recorded. I didn't recognise myself. I often worry that I'm quite harsh and uppity but here was this likeable, softly spoken woman. I must just think the harsh and uppity thoughts but not actually say them out loud.

I look like crap, mainly because I have zero interest in clothes, make up etc. I feel fine though 🙂

Sorry OP I've just realised this is S&B so not at all what you meant.

I look much more stupid/ less successful than I am. I’m quite odd looking and unattractive and have been consistently underestimated my whole life. I think people assume ugly people are sub par in lots of areas.

I think our inner self and our self worth derives alot from childhood experience, and we are ever evolving through our newer life experiences and the work we do on ourselves, unfortunately discovering who we really are and our style isn't always easy so we sometimes can be stuck feeling as we did then.

I grew up in a fortunate situation and have had my fair share of not so gret experiences in life. Now im mid thirties I have discovered and still discovering who I am. Before my thirties I felt like a little kid, didn't really know myself, my style, passions or interests and didn't really look how I felt at all.

Now I dress how I feel and really know my style, not afraid to try what I like to wear and look much better than I did in my twenties, I'm much more confident and sure of myself which I'm sure shows on the outside.

our inner self and our self worth derives alot from childhood experience

Yes i totally agree with this

I know on the days when I blow dry my hair and put the moisturiser on and a bit of mascara I feel 100% better than the days that I don’t.

I look and feel various extremes. I’m not sure if my look matches how I feel.

I was wondering today how I'm percieved by strangers. We can never know.

Nope. In my mind I’m still early 20s and gorgeous (I didn’t think so at the time!) …. then I catch sight of myself in a window or mirror and realise I’m actually mid 50s, grey and dumpy 🤣

I regularly feel unwell and sleep poorly. Unfortunately doesn't show on my face so don't get any sympathy. 😂DH has one bad night's sleep and it shows instantly.

Without makeup or hair done I look like how a I feel: tired!
With make up and hair done I look younger, fresher, happier.
I think I have days when I dress well and days when I dont so can't comment about whether I look richer or poorer than I am!
OP I think your mates meant it as a compliment...and I do think some people have a fancier air about them that. I think previous threads on here decided it's the hair..some people have such good hair that it makes them look more expensive. Perfumes smell different on different people and with it mixing with your lotions or hair products might have smelt more expensive.😏

I've been told that DH has "intelligent hair", whatever that means... He is actually quite intelligent. Make of that what you will 🤣

I hated being seen as a geek at school, bullied and lacking confidence, I couldn't wait to get contact lenses and ditch my glasses. In my 40s I've grown into a more preppy/science woman on her day off look, with some bold glasses, good skin (finally) and more cultivated eyebrows. I feel happy to own the geek now. Not sure what other people think of me though... I might just be the weirdo in the buddy Hollie glasses to them.

Me too!

Well I regularly look and feel like a bag of shite. But I understand what you're saying.

When I used to go into the office to work, I did dress up and tended to go for the rockability type look. When one of my colleagues first met me, she thought I was a stepford wife. Because I looked in her words 'immaculate' with my perfect bandbag, my perfect life, with my perfect kids and husband. This didn't match up with my chaotic life, marriage hanging on by a shoestring, at risk of being made homeless that was happening at the time. But at least my hair and make up were on point I suppose.

Currently
Looking like a fat version of the goblin king minus the make up and brows after three days of the covids

I love these response! ShedIvy I love that you've reclaimed 'geek' and I bet you rock those Buddy Holly glasses! I picture as Jo Elvin who I think always looks awesome.

Lamentations I so wanted to be able to 'like' your post. I love your description as 'likeable and softly spoken'. I want you to be my friend as I also think uppity things quietly.

I have been told, repeatedly, that I'm 'glamorous' but I have no real idea what that means. I don't dress in what I would perceive as 'glam' clothing - it's very simple as is my make up and jewellery. Glamorous to me is the likes of Joan Collins and Joan Collins I am not.

I do however look after my skin, nails and hair and always wear perfume. Maybe it's that. Small things can make a big difference to how you're perceived.