Frumpy Mummy - Can’t Budge Feeling Ugh?

[Bossa09]

Looking for some tips on how to feel a bit better.

I had my DD 6.5 months ago and genuinely feel like I looked better 9 months pregnant than I do now. I can’t budge feeling ‘frumpy’ in whatever I wear.
I have always been petite (boooo) and was never happy (who is?) but now I’m a healthier weight, but I feel facially, hair wise, makeup and clothes - frumpy and meh.

I’ve tried wearing ‘mom’ jeans and vest tops, skinny jeans, leggings and shirts. And I basically live in leggings and baggy T-shirts. DP has noted that I ‘don’t make much of an effort any more’.

Ive been wearing my hair naturally curly due to PP hair loss, haven’t touched heat in month, just had a hair cut and still keep shoving it up, I feel meh when it’s down.

I wear make up half the week - foundation, cream bronzer and mascara. So not like I’m not trying to make an effort. It’s just not making me feel any better.

Dont know what I’m expecting posting this. Just a bit unsure how to feel a bit better about myself - does anyone one have any tips?

I’d cut yourself some slack. 6 months isn’t long and it’s a big life change to go through. Also maybe you think other women manage it but a lot of that is social media, and as with anything some people go at a faster pace than others.

Could you have a mild form of post partum depression?

Some of this sounds like a mild depression. Are you getting out regularly and do you have any down time without baby (even just for a gym session or yoga or a walk?).

have you tried going on a date night yet? Sometimes an excuse to dress up helps

Hiya,

I get out almost every day for a walk with DD. I used to be a lot more active but do try to get out for at least 40 minutes.
We attend mothers and baby group and baby sensory.
I don’t get time myself out with the odd cup of tea when she is sleeping.

it’s more so that I feel my clothes don’t suit me anymore (or new ones I’ve got). And my hair is just ugh! I suppose winter is coming so it’ll be jumpers, jackets and hats anyway 🤣

DP has noted that I ‘don’t make much of an effort any more’.

So he hasn’t managed to be impressed by the fact that you’ve brought your daughter into the world?

No wonder you feel ‘meh’.

What ‘effort’ does he make to support you?

To be honest I had a bit of a feeling like this and I think it was a small bit of PND coupled with not having anything to dress up for. I got a good few bits off Vinted from brands I’d seen on people who’s style I like and that helped. Along with going back to work because that’s an excuse to look nice too

It took me ages after having babies to feel like myself again. It’s a huge shock both physically and mentally. You mention being petite though and the new clothes you’ve bought not feeling like you - I am petite too and am finding that while I’m trying to dress a bit more ‘on trend’ - straight legs instead of skinnies, shorter slightly oversized jumpers etc - it’s just not working for me. So it could just be that what is currently in fashion doesn’t necessarily work well for smaller people? Happy to be proved wrong though if anyone has suggestions 🤣 I do follow ExtraPetite on instagram and she has some good ideas on how to make clothes work for shorter people (although her focus is more on city wear which isn’t so relevant if you live out in the sticks).

Partly it’s a change in what you’re doing during the day too? Soft play instead of work etc.

clothes need to be practical and comfortable. Plus easy access if bf.

I would buy a great pair of jeans that suit you, and are super comfortable. Then nice boots/coat and scarf. You can add to that over time but hopefully you’ll feel more ‘you’ with the basics sorted.

I think @Askinvillarblues is onto something with oversized and petite. You can look swamped very easily and that can feel dowdy. I’m finding belts essential to cinch things in a bit.

Thanks for your comments!
I think I just need to get a decent pair of jeans and somehow some decent tops or thicker winter dresses.
I was a size 4-6 pre-pregnancy. Went to around a size 12 & now I’m sitting at an 8 all round.
So I’ve all my old clothes which I can’t get into, pregnancy clothes that are bigger. So one pair of ‘jeggings’, leggings and some vest tops are my lot just now😅.
I’ll defo have a look on Vinted rather than buy all new!

Hi OP,

First, that comment from your DP must have stung, I'd feel awful if my DH had said that. But tbh I'm the opposite and spend loads of time moaning about how I'm not myself and I have nothing to wear 9 months PP, so he has to listen to that!

Second, like others have said, give it a bit more time. You might find that soon you get back to your pre-pregnancy weight and shape naturally. For me with my first pregnancy it happened at 9 months pp (currently hopeful that it'll happen soon this time around).

In terms of what you can do right now, I'd get a hair cut and buy some nice accessories - probably an interesting resin claw clip for the hair, some good sunglasses, some every day earrings (nice studs or small hoops, your baby will be grabbing them soon so don't get anything too big!), a fashion baseball cap (like faux leather or sheepskin).

Leggings and top is a great mum uniform tbh, it just needs to look intentional rather than slobby, so high quality leggings (Sweaty betty if budget allows), nice thick t-shirt (Cos, Arket, Uniqlo) or a good sweatshirt (Arket, Anine Bing on sale), and clean chunky trainers like New Balance, Adidas or Nike. Push the sleeves up and pop on your baseball cap and you will not feel frumpy :)

Finally I'd tell your DP that his comment made you feel bad. If he gets defensive then just say nothing because it means he knows he is in the wrong and will be feeling guilty. And make sure he knows that any changes you make are for yourself and not because of his comment!