Just stuck, need style help

[boomoohoo]

I'm turning 40 next year. I usually buy clothes, the odd thing here and there, every couple of months. But I've bought nothing since the beginning of the year because i feel so uninspired!
I see nothing that grabs me in shops or online. I notice other people look good but I don't see it on me..
My skin looks dull, my hair is super dry and damaged and frizzy. I feel boxy and square in my shape. I wore an outfit to work today that I felt good in, but I noticed a colleague staring at my middle and felt self conscious. I'm 5'2, about a size 10.
I just feel so stuck, anyone else? And any advice how to get unstuck?

Stop buying odds and sods.
Audit your clothes' requirements.
What is your life like and what do you need to be appropriately dressed for each occasion? Do your clothes suit your colouring?
Pay more attention to your nutrition. Eat more fruit and vegetables, cut out or down on bread, cakes, biscuits, drink more water.
Try to have a brisk 30 minute walk every day, whatever the weather. Make sure you are getting enough, good quality sleep for your needs.

I’m sure your colleague was not staring at your middle.

You could try YouTube stylists. I like Lydia Tomlinson, Audrey Coyne, Melissa Murrell and Trinny (Closet Confessions and Trinny Takeover series) but there are plenty out there.

Or you could try a colour and style consultation.

Or a Stitch Fix or Lookiero box. Skin wise Dermatica or Skin + Me.

Its tough as the retailers are going through a difficult time as with the rest of the world (so there is a lot of cheap looking cross around) and 40s is a tricky decade as you don’t want to look old before your time but nor do you want to look like you are trying too hard and our shape can start to change.

Maybe try on some things you wouldn’t normally go for.

Every now and again I go into a shop and deliberately pick items I'm not attracted to - sometimes it works and shakes up your style a bit.
Also I agree about planning the whole outfit. Even if you buy one item, only get it if you know you have something else it goes with.

I would start with hair and skin, if the base is ok I feel a lot more comfortable in my clothes. Would a cut/colour or just an intensive conditioner help? Some new skincare or new tinted moisturiser/cream blush?

I’m much better at shopping when I know what I’m aiming for and what’s missing from my wardrobe. This has meant a lot of time trying stuff on (keeping an open mind) and browsing Pinterest/insta to work out what flatters me (e.g. styles that hide your middle if you feel self-conscious about it), suits my lifestyle, and the style I’m aiming for. I think lots of women go through a shift in style in their late 30s and 40s as their lifestyles and bodies change and it’s common to feel a bit lost or want a wardrobe update.

I would go for the best you can afford and buy a capsule wardrobe

White t shirts
blue straight leg jeans or slim mom jeans
trench coat
bevy crew neck knitted sweater
Breton stripe top
pale blue shirt
black silky slip/bias cut midi skirt
black cross body small bag
white trainers
black chelsea boots

Thank you all, this is all good advice and I'm thinking about it all.

@FelicityFlops I eat reasonably well and do generally walk at least 30 mins each day. Could improve of course! Would you mind explaining what you mean by audit your clothing requirements?

I have a professional job, I tend to dress smart casual.. Well try to!
I usually wear dresses but I do love jeans - I just don't feel like they suit me.

@TheOGCCL she definitely was 😁 although tbf I do that, and I now sometimes it's in an admiring way..

It's true its a tricky age to dress.. bit of a transition

@Delabruche that's a good idea, thanks!

@LeeMiller very true. Frustratingly I bought a concealer at beginning of summer that I liked. Now with a bit of a tan it's too light and makes me looked washed out. Annoying to have wasted the dosh.
I think I do need to try things on I wouldn't normally

@Bunce1 I love the sound of that, all things I would usually stay away from but I think I need to try new.. thank you

What helped my hair was
Phillip kimgsley elastiser
Also imedeem tablets and tretinol from dermatica

Auditing your clothing means looking at what you've actually got and figuring out where the gaps are.

If you just buy the odd thing here and there, it's easy to get in the habit of just buying 'a new top' and before you know it you've got 40 tops and no trousers.

Look at your wardrobe, decide on a colour palette of things that suit you and then decide what you need for your life. Can you make outfits? If not, why not, what do you need to pull it together? Have you got outfits that suit your lifestyle? Or are there gaps eg smart clothing, going out clothing, weekend casual? Have you got 50 suits and no jeans when you spend most of your life hanging out at home for example.

Ask yourself those kinds of questions then throw away what you don't need and buy what you do from a focussed list eg smart casual jumper, long sleeves, in a colour that will go with jeans and black trousers.

For example, I have no coats so my focussed list might be:

1. Smart long wool coat. Beige/camel. Size up to fit over suit jackets. Try Jaegar, M&S

1. Long, warm coat for football practice. Waterproof, probably down/quilted, hood. Dark colour. Try Mountain Warehouse

1. Short biker jacket to wear over maxi dresses as seasons get cooler but not too cold. Grey/black. Probably leather but consider canvas. Try White stuff, FatFace

as an example

I was you six months ago @boomoohoo. Then I read get changed by Kat Farmer (I'm not on commission LOL) really helped

@Givemesunshines thank you, I'll look into those 👌

@AndSoFinally That is so helpful, thank you! OK I'll def do this

@minervamcgonagall2 thank you, never heard of it so I'll look her up:)

Kat farmers ok, but she's tall and wear alot of long dresses and very wide trousers so not so good for petites like me.