Hate my face

[BibiThree]

That's it really, I hate my face. I've never had a pretty face but I was seriously ill last year and have had a rough year recovering. Suddenly I look old and worse than that, when I look in the mirror I see my mother.
She is not a nice person and I've been estranged from her since I was 11 - only seeing her at weddings and funerals since.
I hate that I see her in my house every day now.

That's it really, I know there's no solution, just wanted to feel sorry for myself and wallow for a bit.

It’s hard isn’t it?! Whether one has had a good relationship with one’s mother or not - you see the future in her!

My advice would be to look after yourself as much as possible. Drink lots of water, take a daily multivitamin.

Are there things she would never have done? Like get eyebrows done, a regular facial, a good haircut and colour done professionally? Get your colours done and wear colours you love? Do those things!

Find ways to make yourself look/feel better that are about YOU. If they are the opposite of what she would have done at your age, so much the better!

It's not something I know much about but a lot of the women in my area are having injectables and they literally change how they look...It's really surprising! I'm not saying to do it, but for those who are willing, it is possible to make huge adjustments to how one looks.

It doesn't come without risks and a cost, but I guess a tweakment could help. I might have 0.5ml of lip filler in a few years to replace any lost volume.

I'm not recommending this btw, I've just seen it a lot and hear from friends about all the treatments that seem to be commonplace now.

Thanks both, injectables aren't financially possible and I'm not sure they'd be my thing, but I'm definitely going to look into changing my appearance/taking better care of my face/hair etc

This made me sad. I can relate. I think the solution has to be learning to love yourself as you are rather than trying to change your face.
Having said that, if new make up and haircut make you feel better then do it.
Focus on getting well and being kind to yourself. See friends who make you laugh. 💐

Oh bless you. This advice will sound cheesy but the quickest easiest thing you can do to change how your face looks is smile (it did take me ages to learn how to look OK in photos and that's basically it). Try not to glower at the mirror.

Often facial expression makes all the difference when it comes to looking like someone or not. When you look in the mirror give yourself a smile rather than neutral face. Sounds mad, but you'll see your own personality coming through then rather than hers.

Can you change your hair - colour and style?

When My hair is dark I look just like my mother but never noticed when I was blonde!

She is not a nice person and I've been estranged from her since I was 11 - only seeing her at weddings and funerals since.

I hate that I see her in my house every day now.

I know exactly what you mean! I see mine more often but she’s never been a nice mum, she has always criticised and upset me and I associate her facial expressions with horrible qualities. I have pulled away from her and reduced contact. But now I’m in my 50s there she is in the bloody mirror! I can’t even tell how I would feel about my ageing face if it wasn’t for this - I might be fine with it.

I do agree smiling helps, unfortunately I have a bit of a bitchy resting face so it’s when I’m caught unawares it’s the worst. Aarrgh what’s my mum doing there!? Oh shit it’s a mirror. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Thank you, it's nice to know I'm not the only person who feels this way and I have a plan to improve things.

Buy a wig it changes your look so much!

I wore a wig for a large part of last year, it was horrid and I shan't be doing it again

It will be ok. When we have been really Ill we look awful, and prematurely aged, but as health improves, so do our looks. Vitamins, good diet, sleep and take extra care. Yoga is great too.

I’m sorry you’ve been unwell. Serious illness does drag one down mentally and physically but the effects on your face need not be permanent!

First thing: do you have a weekly veg box? Or perhaps you’re able to grow your own food? Either way, double the amount of fresh fruit and vegetables you eat and completely cut down on processed food and empty calories. Really nurture yourself over the next few months with good food and you’ll be amazed how much better you feel about your appearance come Spring.

Secondly try to find time to spend doing a couple of things you really love - preferably something more active than Netflix and wine! Get as much fresh air as you can. Build yourself up generally - there’s a reason wealthy convalescents used to go and spend six months walking in the mountains.

And treat yourself to some new facial oils and serums and (if not contra-indicated) a huge bag of magnesium bath salts. Take your time and try to let go of as much stress as you can. You’ll soon start to love your face in the mirror.

I don’t understand why people on this board aren’t using subliminals. I have a whole new nose and jawline from them. It’s slow at first, but once you start to use booster subliminals alongside them they truly work. You can change anything with subs. Or use flushes if you’re not happy. You can look younger, different, prettier, anything (within reason) and it’s YouTube so it’s free.

Sorry, what is this?
What do you mean by new jawline/nose? How you perceive them because of subliminal messaging or are you saying your bone structure has changed?

I googled!

www.vice.com/amp/en/article/xwegyn/are-subliminal-videos-on-youtube-messing-people-up

I have no words …

Veg box, fresh air and outdoor pursuits, OP. And people to laugh with.