46, sad and in desperate need of a glow up.

[glowydewyface]

I'm 46 and have put on a bit of weight over the last few years, partly due to undiagnosed thyroid condition, perimenopause and comfort eating. I'm size 16-18 and 5ft 10.

I have been feeling really low about how I look and don't want this to be me for the rest of my life. I am eating and tracking food and walking the dog daily and doing Les Mills online workouts, around 3 times a week for 30 minutes to 45 minutes. As of this week, I am cutting out my alcohol. I managed to do 3.5 months at the beginning of the year but it has snuck in again.

I just feel such a mess I could cry. I can't wear any of the clothes I want to wear as they just look awful on me. My boobs have got huge and not in a perky way but a very matronly way and have a bulge at the bottom that I have to cover with long tops.

I can't afford a new wardrobe at the moment but want to do some work on myself and get some nice casual bags, scarves, costume jewellery to brighten up what I have and lift my spirits. But I have no clue. My tastes are still trapped in the naughties.

I wear a lot of jeggings/skinny jeans and longline tops with converse/Superga or boots in winter. I would like some nice costume jewellery, bracelets, earrings, necklaces but get drawn to statement pieces that I am sure are dated. Any links to anything?

My teeth are ok but going to have a polish in a couple of weeks. I have no idea about nails. My nails are kept short as they have become brittle from my thyroid condition. I will never be into nail art but I would like some advice on strengthening my nails and kit to keep them neat. What polish to use? Colours? I have no idea on this stuff.

I just want to stop feeling so desperately sad about how I look. It makes me so sad.

Any advice. Thank you in advance.

Oh, sweetheart. I can feel how sad you are.

That silhouette is out, it's true. And it's hard to make the shift as we're in this place where it's all crop tops and baggy trousers and I definitely am not up for showing my belly.

One thing that's happening now that's interesting and sort of accessible to all body shapes and existing wardrobes is this bag palette look. This is, like, all black outfit and then a bright white handbag. Or all grey and electric blue.

Examples: assets.vogue.com/photos/620bfe426c06c30de8f58980/master/w_2580%2Cc_limit/NYFW-STREETSTYLE-PHILOH-DAY4-23.jpg
assets.vogue.com/photos/620d96370b7e080d3b0d0ba8/master/w_2580%2Cc_limit/NY-STREETSTYLE-PHILOH-DAY5-28.jpg

Just don't match your bag and shoes! Anything where you take one element and shift it to a kind of opposite and clashing -- a suit with high top trainers, one wild colour against neutrals - this you can do with what you have now and feel a bit intentional and have some fun with your outfits. Rediscover the fun dress up part of fashion and try to put away some of the self judgment and self consciousness. It can't help you. Be a friend to yourself.

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way, it’s horrid to be unhappy with how you look.

When you say you can’t wear the clothes that you would like to wear, what sort of clothes are they? It’s helpful to know the styles that you like, even if you feel they don’t work for you right now.

For nails, I highly recommend a silica supplement, then oiling your cuticles regularly, keeping nails short but neat and using Dior Nail Glow which makes you look like you’ve had a manicure with minimal effort.

You don’t mention your hair and that can make such a difference. Are you happy with it at the moment? If so, then it gives you something positive about yourself to focus on.

I like watching Trinny on fashion and one thing she always says, as do other stylists, is that wearing long tops to hide a stomach, especially if they just hang off a big bust is counterproductive - the key is to try and define your waist, most easily by tucking tops in. I'm also 46 and self conscious about my bust and I am starting to see what she means.

I also found this series o

On YouTube very interesting on body shapes. I don't think size and weight have all that much to do with looking stylish, it's how you dress for your figure.

Thanks for all of your comments. Before all my thyroid issues kicked off I was a reasonably slim. I loved the looser-fit jeans with a top tucked it but would feel very self-conscious with my current stomach bulge. I am currently sweating after doing 60-minute work out so I am trying! In regards to Trinny's comment about the looser tops to hide a stomach, I received an order from Fatface this morning of some looser type shirts and they made my boobs look even more matronly than normal. Hideous! My lifestyle needs functional clothing.
I quite like my hair. It is chin length, dark with a caramel balayage. I have actually been spending more on my hair since I no longer like any of my clothes.
I have good arms, they aren't flabby and have a bit of definition so they are the only bit I have been showing off in the summer. We are going abroad next summer for 3 weeks and I so want to be in the position to be able to buy nice shorts and shimmer dresses and not feel like I have done this year.
Thanks for the tips re nails. I will look into the products mentioned.

Can't seem to post link but it's MM Personal Styling on YouTube, check out her video for a large bust and an apple stomach.

You’ve got good hair and teeth and arms. And you’re exercising and toning up. The issue is you don’t like having big boobs and a tummy…Pilates can really help with the tummy. I had a breast reduction surgery which apparently is the least regretted of all elective surgeries..
before I had the reduction I used under wired minimiser bras , seamless cups, by Triump or Charnos. Took me a long time to find that was the bra style which worked for me, hoisted the girls up and made them round shaped.
pilates and an underwired minimiser are your friends. I used to favour dresses that cling on the arms and bust and have the gathering under the bust then drape in a forgiving way, and underneath, some Bridget jones knickers plus the aforementioned hoist for the girls.