Please help me feel more confident with fashion

[Wardrobemalfunction22]

I used to love shopping and would spend hours hunting the rails with girlfriends on a weekend. These days I'm a tired and timepoor mid 40s mum of two young primary aged DC and I feel really lost with my style and what makes a good outfit. I moved away from friends after having DC and usually shop alone now, or online.

I had colour analysis done about 5 years ago and it said I suit light/cool colours. I'm going to a friend's 40th party soon where the theme is "red" and there will be lots of old friends there I haven't seen in years. I really want to look my best and feel confident. I have bought a red maxi dress in a cool red which I think suits me but am stuck for how to pull together a stylish outfit plus something for the more casual brunch catch up the day after the party.

Wise S&B readers please help me!

Can you post a picture of the dress? What’s your basic body shape? Is there a style that you are drawn to?

Start with good shoes and good hair.
The red dress sounds brilliant - you'll look stunning.
Brunch could be a dress, or jeans/trousers and blazer.

What sort of clothes do you like? Is there a 'look' that appeals to you regardless of fashion?

I'm an size 10-12 fairly classic hourglass shape. I'll see if I can figure out how to post a picture!

I don't really know my style. I tend to wear quite scruffy jeans and jumpers with DC and at work I wear black jeans or navy chinos with fine knitted tops. I also have a couple of navy blue fitted dresses that I haven't worn since before lockdown. I like the more classic and preppy blazer and jeans type style

This is the dress, its actually wide leg culottes but swishes like a dress

Well that is fabulous!

I would probably wear hair up, (but I have crap hair that never loos good down) reddish lipstick and a long gold or silver pendant with it. Fancy flats or wedges. Maybe dangly earrings.

That's definitely stunning. I have a midi red dress - nothing flashy just a cotton button through tea dress - but my goodness I feel great in it. It's the colour and that it doesn't chop me in half that does it.

Preppy look is good. Can't go wrong with flat front trousers or chinos, a plain silky top or striped shirt, and closed toe sandals or loafers. (Open toes only if you have beautiful feet)

Oh that’s fab! You’ve clearly got good taste and a handle on what works for you so I think you’ll be fine. Be careful thinking black goes with everything. It can be too heavy with many colours and drag them down. I would avoid putting black with that jumpsuit and think about white or neutrals for accessories.
for the brunch I’d go for wide cropped chinos a fine knit with a French tuck. And a shit load of necklaces layered up.
think what would a Frenchwoman wear! Simple but not basic. Have fun. X

I can’t help but that dress is amazing and you obviously have excellent taste!

I was the same as you, had no idea how to put outfits together after covid and a baby. I signed up to lookiero, the way I think of it is hello fresh for clothes 😂 you tell them what kind of clothes you like, they send you a box with 5 pieces and you keep what you like and send back the rest, if you keep it all you get a discount. I got some really nice items that will now be a go to in my wardrobe, it's good for a few months anyway and you can cancel it easily.

Thanks I'm already feeling better just hearing people like the dress! I'm not confident and agonised for a few days before buying it (tried on lots of duds too). I was thinking white.or offwhite clutch bag and white espadrilles or wedges.

Long necklace is a great suggestion thank you.

Are blue jeans a no-go? Mine are old and faded but fit ok (straight leg) I've never managed a french tuck so may have to practice that!

Straight denim jeans are fine - I usually wear them regardless of trends. I'm ok in skinnies and a slight bootcut, but won't go near 'mom' jeans or a french tuck.

Super dress!

I find neutrals often go well with red, not the old fashioned nude shiny heels perhaps, but some neutral sandals and bag- but I would go with what you have already unless you want to spend a lot on that.

For a lunch, if you have a 'look' that you already like, I would update that. I still love the old jeans and jacket combo, but I tend to wear slackets (?) so more loose jackets or in a softer material, not something super-sharp. If you have an hour glass figure you don't want the jacket to swamp you so make sure your t-shirt or top is tight enough. Jeans- you could wear your old jeans or invest in a new pair, I've got some pale ones and some flares as well as the straight leg, just a question of trying lots on. Then you can wear loafer/whatever shoes you like really and look casual/smart at the same time!

It's easier to update your existing look than try to find a whole new one I think, plus if you have your hair done nicely, perhaps update your make-up if you wear any (I did an online tutorial and got some ideas from that) then you feel at your best. Equally, these are your friends, so I don't think you have to super-impress anyone, just get to making yourself feel comfortable and relaxed so hopefully you forget about what you look like anyway.

Would I be very cheeky if I asked where you got the dress please? It's fab.

@kirstenblest its from Phase Eight. I've never shopped there before but they came up on a google image search and was on sale through John Lewis.

Thanks. Phase Eight is good. Heads off to look at JL

They don't have it in my size. It's gorgeous. Very swishy and not obviously a jumpsuit, so is probably quite flattering.

Dress is FAB-U-LOUS! Excellent choice. Suggest a floaty floral type maxi dress with trainers and a denim jacket for the brunch - feminine, comfortable, stylish and casual (plus easy on the stomach - don't k ie about you but that's always a plus for me).

Thanks @gingerpigz always happy to have a loose waistband when sitting down for a meal!

Where is good to look for denim jackets? My current jeans are from H&M but with new buys I'm trying to be a bit more upmarket and going for something that will last. I have no clue about denim brands these days

Whilst this is a friend's event I am feeling apprehensive and self conscious as I've been living the other end of the country from them all for 5 years and it'll be the first time we've met up in person for nearly 3 years. I hope after a wine I'll relax but right now I'm definitely worrying about how I look (and yes I know its incredibly shallow of me to focus on appearances but its the truth and if I look good I'll feel good)

@Wardrobemalfunction22 Unlike denim jeans, I honestly don't think it matters when it comes down to denim jackets. Mine is nothing special (from Debenhams back in the day) but have had it years and I love it.... it's more about the style (personally I would stick with classic) and colour. Hope you have a great weekend!