Help me help myself!

[bigskydeepsea]

Hi,

So long story short the last few weeks I've really not been looking after myself after a family bereavement, mental health being in the gutter and spiralling into a bottle of wine and packet of cigarettes every night I've woken up this morning and looked in the mirror and do not recognise myself. Skins awful, puffy eyes, hair that resembles worsel gummidge.

Enough is enough and while I may feel rubbish on the inside I have a week off next week and plan to treat the kids to some days out. What are your top pampering tips? Any must haves? I feel like spending a bit of money and trying to sort myself out and hoping once the outside feels better the inside might start to follow.

Sorry for the long post but throw your advice at me please!

The most obvious things are giving up the alcohol and cigarettes. That would make the most dramatic difference but it's probably the hardest to do as well.
Next would be to prioritise getting enough sleep, drinking plenty of water and eating well.
Getting hair and eyebrows done, a facial and body massage. Can help to look and feel better.

Also - I'm sorry for what you're going through. I hope you have people to help and support you too. Grief is a process and can take time

Calculate how much you're spending each day on wine and cigarettes. Then allocate a week's worth of your alcohol and cigarette budget to having a facial or a massage at the end of your week off.

During your week off, no alcohol, no cigarettes, 3 litres of water a day and 8 hours' sleep a night if you can manage it. Cleanse, tone and moisturise your skin every day. If you can fit in some exercise, do, even if it's only a walk outside each day.

Spend time with your kids outside the house and make sure you all eat really well. Cook from scratch as much as possible.

@Beechview @babyjellyfish

Thank you ladies, your right the fags and wine have to go I know that I will feel a million times better once I do it's just so hard when it's the only thing that makes you feel better at the end of the day.

Facial & eyebrows booked, I'm going to go do a healthy food shop and make sure I'm in bed by 10pm latest and lots of water.

Thanks for taking the time to reply ladies, I've been in such a lonely and sad place (even though I have DH and DC around) I have literally aged 10 years in 2 weeks

I know it sounds trite but a bath soak (or shower if you don't have a bath) hair wash and body lotion all
Over and a whole clean outfit (even if just loungewear or pyjamas) was on if the things mentioned in a self care Facebook post thing. Blow dry your hair and put on perfume get rid of old nail varnish.

Cook some easy nutritious non junk food (omlette /pasta).

If you can manage add a shave /epilate legs and use body scrub and some facial skin care. If you wear make up, put some on.

Then Book a hair apt and nail/brows /pedicure what ever time and finds allow.

Then go buy some nice skin care and hair stuff. Maybe some new make up.

Sorry for you loss OP.

Love this @cherrypiepie so many things there that don't seem huge but I've neglected doing for so long! Thank you

I always think a bit of face fake tan helps, it takes away the greyness and makes under eye circles less noticeable. Buy a stay on water based one if you're nervous, they give great results.

I found even just the first part of the bath hair wash and blow dry and smothering myself in body lotion and a whole set of new clothes made me feel a whole lot better.

Also make your bed and tidy your room - makes a massive difference!

You can get smoking cessation support on the nhs, address that one as a matter of urgency because those things will kill you.

I was drinking to manage stress, I stepped down from wine to fizzy water with orange juice which was a massive treat when I was little and it still feels indulgent now even though I know it’s not.

If it was healthy I’d live on sauv blanc and crisps.