Bra help!

[Lifeispassingby]

I am in despair with my bra! I was wearing the wrong size for a long time (36F) and went to M&S 3 wks ago- she put me at 40E, although some I tried felt too loose. I ended up with a 3 pack T-shirt style (which I wanted- plain and simple style) in 40E. Knew I would have to adjust to wearing something larger than I had been, but having worn them for 3 wks I am sure they are too big. The front gaps away from the body (in the centre) it’s on the tightest fitting but I can literally fit my hand between my back and the bra, and I can fit my whole fist in the top of the cup. I’m not sure what to do size wise now- should I go up and size or down a size or change the cup size? I’m tempted to try a different store of M&S but part of me doesn’t want to go back there- unfortunately I don’t have loads of money either but want something that’s right- what should I do?

Go on the boob or Bust Facebook page, have a read and measure yourself following their calculator. I'd be willing to bet money you're in top big a band and too small a cup, m and s are awful fitters! Either that or try bravissimo. If you don't have one nearby then they do online fit checks which might help you with where to start.

@IwillrunIwillfly Thank you- have just finished on bravissimo and they suggest a 36G so I’m totally confused now!!

M+S use different sizing and their fitting is shit.

@OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide Where would you suggest? I always used to use Debenhams and was happy for a long time but obv not available anymore x

M+S are notorious for bad fitting and back sizes too big - which is exactly what you have experienced from them.

Fit also relates to style and brand of bra. I get yourself fitted at Bravissimo

M & S fitting is so hit and miss (usually miss). I'd order a range of styles and sizes from Bravissimo and see how you get on. The Millie bra is a good starting point. You can do a phone/video call with them to make sure youre in the right size. The first bras I ordered from them were too small in the cup (mainly because I couldn't believe I was an F!) but they were great on the phone asking lots of questions whilst I had the bra actually on. Their revised suggestions were exactly right - firm but not tight, the band fits perfectly all round, and no escaped boob anywhere.

Boob or bust every single time!

life changing (not for all I may add)

I hate M&S bras. Fitting or no fitting, they never feel comfortable. I eventually went to the famous ’Sadie the Bra Lady’. It wasn’t Sadie herself who fit me, but it was one of her staff. She recommended a size. As soon as we tried a couple in that size, I knew the size was wrong for me. I suggested a band size up. She disagreed, but since her recommendations were not fitting, she relented and brought others. Turned out I was right. So much for a fitting expert! 🤷‍♀️ Despite this, although the size was content, the bra I bought from there was never really comfortable to wear for long.

I have since discovered Wacoal bras really fit my shape, especially the Halo range. I can wear them all day long and they remain comfortable. No bralettes needed for me!

I imagine you are a 36 back and as m&s add 4 inches they've put you in a 40 back and made the back too big and the cup too small.

I'd go back to a 36 and try bigger cup sizes

@dementedpixie thank you, I said to DH all along I felt perhaps 38F would fit better, but perhaps I’ll go back to 36 G and see how that is as a starting point x

Do you have a John Lewis nearby as I have found that their fitters are usually pretty good. If you're near London then its worth a fitting at Rigby and Peller the one near Oxford Street is usually easy to get a walk in appointment

If you can get to a Bravissimo I really highly recommend them. I went once and have never looked back.

Bravissimo. Been using them for over 20 years (been everything from a G to a K and now a HH in that time).

Apologies as this comment is somewhat late in the day. It’s not just about size, it’s the style that does or doesn’t suit, so avoid multipacks unless you are 100% sure it is the bra for you.

I’m 36F and find either the Panache Tango or Gossard Glossies, work perfectly for me. I have them in lots of different colours and l know the fit will be right.

Thanks for all those who replied. I braved it and went back to a different M&S store and she measured me to a 38G all of which fitted like a glove when I put them on! This was the size the bravissimo website suggested too so feeling much happier and more comfortable than in my 40E bras!

Can I please add, return the M&S bras that are too big. Explain the situation and you'll probably find that they will refund or exchange them.

Definitely Bravissimo would always be my recommendation.

However you must remember that different brands or styles fit differently.

Big things to consider:
-always fit bras on the loosest hooks (you tighten as the bra gets older and the elastic starts to give a little)
-the band should be quite snug and horizontal to the ground when seen from the side (not riding up the back)
-no boob spillage or big gap
-no discomfort on the side (sometimes the end of the cup doesn't match the end of my boob and that can be painful)
-the middle should ideally touch your breast bone but not necessarily, should be close though