Please help me save my hair!

[ScoobySnacks1]

I’ve been having blonde highlights for around 9yrs now, with the occasional switch back to brunette during that time.

However, over the last year my hair has become totally ruined. Nothing has changed - still going to same hairdresser, she only ever does my regrowth and then toned the lengths, never overlaps the colour.

But the ends of my hair are destroyed. My hair obviously still grows as my roots show between hair appts but the length never gets any longer! In fact it seems to be getting shorter due to breakage. The ends of my hair are almost see-through, it’s that badly damaged.

I had blood tests a few months ago as both myself and my GP felt it must be a thyroid or hormone issue but bloods came back normal. However I was on the pill at the time which would’ve hidden any perimenopausal issues (I am 44), I am now planning on having bloods done again now I’ve stopped taking it. I was low on Vit D which I’m now supplementing and I’m also taking a good multivitamin.

I just don’t know how to save my hair. I admit I am a bugger for straightening it most days but always, always use a heat protection spray. I haven’t straightened it for over a week now and going to continue not to as I’m sure that’s probably the cause of the damage. But my hair really is awful unstraightened so I am having to tie it up each day which is probably almost as damaging.

I’ve tried using PK elasticizer, that made it worse. I’ve been using K18 which seemed a miracle at the start but now makes no difference. My hair is just above shoulder length but I’d say at least 3 inches of it at the bottom is fucked. My hairdresser is loathe to cut all the damaged ends shorter in case they too end up going the same way… I’ll be left with no hair.

My hairdresser also said going back to brunette wouldn’t really help as my hair would still go through a colour process which would have to include the lengths rather than just doing the roots. I hate being dark but would do it if it saved my hair. I deep condition it regularly, use a wide toothed comb when wet etc. I feel I’m trying so many things but nothing helps.

Any advice from anyone this has happened to? My best friend stayed at mine this weekend and was shocked when she saw my unstraightened hair as it looked so horrendous. I only had it trimmed 6 weeks ago but the ends are already vastly different lengths - they look like I’ve hacked at them myself! And this happens within a week or 2 of it being trimmed. I’m so sad about it 😔

Your 44, im 45 and my hairs changed too. It needs a lot more tlc now than it did.

You can try aveda damage remedy intensive range but if it doesn’t work consider either stopping the colour or stopping the straightening.

I had the same issue. Only thing that worked for me was stopping colouring/heat styling my hair and cutting the damage out. Took ages, but my hair is in lovely condition now

Agree stop heat styling. Do you use a silk pillowcase and bobble? I like the Slip bobbles, that should reduce damage when you tie it up

I’m not sure I could cope with a silk pillowcase, I get so hot at night that I can’t even sleep under a duvet, I have to use a thin blanket. Do they make your head hot? If not then I’d definitely give it a try.

I use those spiral hair ties - Invisi something they’re called? Have seen the silk scrunchies, are they safer? I’ve had my hair in French plaits the last couple of days but although they’re quite loose I’m now wondering if they will cause too much tension. Im so scared im going to end up with a pixie cut, my hair has always been the thing that makes me me if that makes sense. It’s always been fine but I had loads and loads of it so had the appearance of being very think. Now it’s like straw 😔

Please feel free to disregard this advice I'd it's inapplicable.

I second the silk pillow or a silk turban.
Don't plait your hair particularly when wet.
Stop straightening your hair. I invested in a Dyson airwrap as I still felt I needed to style my hair and my hair is a lot healthier now.
Rotate the types of conditioner you use. Over use of protein for example can make hair brittle. Perhaps go for something without sulphates or alcohol. So I use a moisturising, a protein mask and mane and tail regular conditioner.
If you can't give up colour completely perhaps consider balayage or ombre as much less damaging.
Increase protein and look at your diet in general to check you are getting enough nutrients.

My hair was awful and I did those things and it was much improved so there is hope.

I use a silk pillowcase and its cooler than a cotton one

That’s interesting about the silk pillowcase, will order one tonight!

My diet isn’t the best, I struggle with a long history of disordered eating. I do take a multivitamin every day though which I had hoped was mitigating some of the damage caused by my lack of eating 🙈 but I guess it isn’t a miracle cure.

I am definitely stopping the straightening. Will look at better shampoos and conditioner too. Im
back at the hairdressers in 2 weeks, she says she is doing everything she can to help save my hair but I am sure continuing to use bleach on even just the roots cannot be helping

The things I'd look at in your diet are omega three, protein and b vitamins for hair I think. Multivitamins I think of as like insurance but don't really do anything on their own just enhance the effects of a good diet.

I know it's probably not what you want to hear, but I think the quickest way to repair damage will be to give up the bleach at least for a little while. You may find as your hair grows stronger and healthier you like the way it looks with your natural colour anyway.
I'm a former blonde addict who has steadily gone more natural and as my hair condition has improved I've loved my natural hair more.

I cannot recommend Purelogy Strength Cure shampoo, conditioner and miracle filler enough. I was horribly anaemic and my hair was breaking but this product combo helped rehab it and I've stayed using it.

Also, those spiral invisibobbles are brutal! They keep your hair up but they are really tight, ditch them for pop bands.

Stop with the bleach and the heat!!

This Happened to my sister in law, her hair started to snap off towards the roots in the end, and she had a halo of shorter hair. My other SIL who is a hairdresser said that whoever was bleaching her hair was not acting professionally, but she was addicted.

She gave it up, had some lowlights. Grew everything out very slowly. Although she couldn’t face a big chop at any point.

Pre natal vitamins are very good for your hair. You do need good nutrition overall though.

You’re going to have to rethink your style and methods if you want to retain your hair. in any case quality always wins over quantity for me!

Right, will shop for some omega 3 etc.

Ive suggested giving up the bleach but my hairdresser is adamant it’s not damaging my hair 🤷‍♀️ I don’t have any breakage until the last few inches of the lengths. I get it trimmed and it’s lovely and straight across the bottom but within a week or two it’s all different lengths again which is clearly breakage.

Need to look for decent shampoos/conditioner too. I always used to use Pureology or Redken but then finances kind of put a stop to it and it seemed a luxury I could cut back on. Maybe not!

Has anybody experienced similar and HRT helped resolve it? I don’t seem to have many symptoms of being perimenopausal other than possibly this hair issue and some fairly significant brain fog.

HRT?

I should add, the reason I started having highlights is because I have a lot of grey. But it’s not a huge percentage of my hair, if it was then I’d just grow it out and happily go grey. My hair is pretty dark naturally so it is really obvious when my greys start coming through and they’re a completely different texture to the rest of my hair and stick straight up from my head! I’d happily ditch all colour if it weren’t for that, my hair during lockdown looked truly awful and I would be so unhappy if that was how I had to look forever more

I sleep with coconut oil on my hair once a week. I slap in on my dry hair and wash it off in the morning.

Biotin.
Co-washing.
Stop using heat - experiment with heatless styling methods (loads on YouTube).

For me it's less about getting expensive brands of conditioner and shampoo and more being careful with ingredients and not overdoing anything.
So I try to steer clear of sulphates and alcohol, basically try and make sure it's curly girl method compliant (I'm wavy not true curls, but it's a good way to make sure you don't use anything too harsh!) Make sure I don't overdo protein treatments and get a balance.
If you still want to dye your hair could you get lowlights and build up a gradual balayage look? Dark colour is much kinder than bleach.

Oh and yes to co washing too. Great suggestion!

Olaplex worked for me, i bought all the steps, my hair is past bra strap and like silk

I could have typed that OP! I've just had my beautiful long highlighted hair cut off jaw length because of the dead ends.

Again, years of highlights made it look weird and damaged.

Yesterday I noticed that many younger women aren't having their highlights done and are embracing darker blonde and brunette shades so tomorrow I'm going darker. With gloss to add shine.

I'm so excited- I feel like it'll be a new phase of my life.

Elvive purple shampoo and Superdrug Purple Hair Mask have done the most amazing job at saving my frazzled straw ends though. And usually £3 each :)