I feel your pain. Relatively I have a slim figure and people often remark on how little there is of me but I only see my out of proportion, matronly boobs. I think it’s partly because that’s really all I can see when I look down. It’s difficult to dress, especially for normal settings where you don’t particularly want to look like Jessica Rabbit.
I tried minimiser bras but agree they can just make them look a funny shape. After all, all that flesh has to go somewhere. My sports bra does a similar thing. Speaking of sports all those athletes with no boobs at the Commonwealth Games and European Championships, very jealous. I like the Panache bras Tango and Envy.
I agree of late I’ve started thinking tucking in tops looks better, rather than having them hang off the bust (which can make you look like you are smuggling ferrets). I’ve found you need a top with a) plenty of fabric so you can lodge it in properly, and take account of the mounds, and still have fabric to pull out gently b) ideally fabric which is quite stretchy, like jersey. Nothing too tight or fitted, the aim is to highlight the waist. It’s a more modern look and offsets the matron.
Neckline wise I think it’s difficult to generalise as there are other factors at play such as how long your neck is and your face shape and age. Although v or scoop neck reduce my bust I look aged as the v accentuates my droopy face, and highlights my turkey neck. I often prefer a high neck with jewellery to create the v.
Its true balancing out the bottom half makes boobs look smaller. I like skinnies but recognise these are not the most balancing/ flattering.
Wearing something open over a top such as a shirt or cardigan creates vertical lines which is flattering. I personally find jumpers hardest as they either read tight (sort of 1950s pin up vibe) or they are oversized and baggy and that’s really a look I find unflattering and makes me feel quite unattractive. I tend to find jumpers harder to tuck in but may experiment again this year. I find summer dressing far easier as I think sandals balance out a big bust, something about seeing all the toes splayed.
Finally although I’m not a massive fan of big sleeves, big/wide sleeves are flattering as they again create balance, so your boobs look smaller in comparison. Tight sleeves do the opposite.