Trainers to a funeral?

[Baycitystroller]

I am going to a funeral this week. I have a black and green maxi dress to wear. I wear long dresses a lot! Usually with trainers or DM boots in winter. I can’t wear trainers to a funeral can I?? I don’t have any suitable shoes though.

any suggestions?

Honestly I would not judge what people are wearing - but sometimes more traditional/older folk seem to. My aunt was critical of some people at my DDads funeral due to jeans/trainers but I felt just pleased to see them. I'd consider who is closest to the person who has passes away and consider if they would think it disrespectful and act accordingly.

Well OP, since you don't have any other footwear apart from the slip on trainers and DMs, and you are not going to buy anything else, it's got to be something you have already.

The trainers in black might be best. But no one will judge you, and if they do that's their problem.

Well it kind of depends whose funeral it is. Wacky Aunt who had multicoloured hair and multiple piercings - wear trainers. Elderly in law where most mourners will be in black two piece suits or black dresses, then you should probably buy some cheap heels.

Thanks. I will see what I have lurking in my wardrobe.

I wouldn't overthink it It's your presence that matters
I couldn't tell you what others wore at my DM's just their faces
I think the van type trainers will be fine

Having been at the funeral of a close family member v recently and my dad's a few years ago, I can honestly say, unless you arrived halfway through standing up on a circus horse in a feather leotard singing Copa Cabana, I wouldn't have noticed what you wore. I can't even remember what my mum wore. I was just happy people came.

Wear the vans. Be comfy.

I guess it depends who's funeral it is. Elderly relative who was big on tradition? Maybe not.

The last funeral I went to had people dressed as a fairy, a viking, a wizard. Heck the celebrant was dressed as a tardis!

I want people to be comfortable at my funeral. If that means they come in shorts and flip flops then that's fine by me.

I've honestly no idea what people wore to my Dad's funeral last year.

I've worn trainers to funerals before. I have some Skechers that are mostly black and work pretty well. Surely nobody is there to look at and critique your footwear anyway.

I think your Vans will be absolutely fine.

I really don't think anyone will even notice what shoes you have on.

At my Dad's funeral I honestly wouldn't have cared if folk wore slippers. What mattered was they came, not what they were wearing.

If youre wearing a maxi dress your shoes will hardly be seen anyway

It depends on the likely vibe at the funeral, but if trainers feel wrong, go with plain black DMs. They should be fine!

i wouldn't wear trainers. There are occasions to dress appropriately and a funeral is one of those. I would say that dressing appropriately includes no trainers.

I wouldn't.

However, you have already said you only have trainers or DMs, and you aren't going to buy anything new, so not really sure what you want us to say.

I rarely wear "proper shoes" these days, but I keep a pair in the wardrobe just for such an occasion. Same as I keep a black dress, and my dh keeps a white shirt and a black tie. I presume this isn't going to be the only funeral you go to in your life, so buying some cheapish black ballet pumps / court shoes / Mary Janes / ankle boots / whichever would be least uncomfortable to you is unlikely to be a "wear only once" things.

I agree it is your presence that is the most important, but I also think "respecting the norm" is important at a funeral and it isn't really the time to be standing out due to your clothing.

I went to a funeral recently of someone far too young to have gone, some people were in trainers with dresses. Some were full on black and smart high heels. The black vans sound fine. My teenage daughter wore trainers, but with smart (for her) clothes. She liked and respected the person and particularly wanted to attend, she doesn’t have any other shoes bar flip flops. I can’t imagine the persons family were bothered, just that people took the time to attend.