Talk to me about jeans

[Fuckitydoodah]

Thinking ahead to cooler weather I was looking online at jeans. For the last decade at least I've been wearing skinny jeans, but apparently they're on the way out and going to be a fashion faux pas. There's no bloody way I'm going back to bootcut. Mom jeans look ridiculous on me. Flared or wide leg equally make me want to shrivel up.

So, what the hell is this size 14, 41 year old with a bit of a mum tum and short legs meant to wear?!!

I know I can obviously carry on wearing skinnies and probably will but just wondering what other people are dabbling with.

I have short legs ( not exactly slim either) , and I look awful in boyfriend/ mom jeans.
I know they are expensive but I love Levi 724 . They are straight but not too baggy, and come in 28” length. They also do in between waist sizes - so you can get a 27” if you are between an 8 and a 10 for eg. They are high rise enough to stop a muffin top but not up to the armpits. And they are very comfy to wear
www.levi.com/GB/en_GB/clothing/women/724-high-rise-straight-jeans/p/188830139

Apparently a mid rise is better for a mum tum. I watched a video online and can see the truth in that as a high waist, although great because it feels like you are held in, it can emphasise a rounder tummy.

I would suggest going somewhere like Primark or H&M and having a massive try on session as they tend to have all the styles and are much cheaper than anywhere else. I think a straight leg or flare that is tigger up the top are the best bet. Also no to stretch jeans. Proper structured denim will hold everything in.

I also think the right skinny can can still look good. A frayed hem and a washed finish will look more on trend than a block colour. Skinny's that sit above the ankle as opposed to longer styles.

*tighter

I've been living in wide leg jeans all summer. I have 3 pairs - 2 from Primark and one from M&S. I just bought black ones for winter from H&M. It's strange how quickly you get used to a new style, now even my previous favourite Boyfriend jeans seem too narrow.

I would suggest going to M&S and trying loads on - they have every style you can think of. Primark jeans are also good if you go for the slightly more expensive ones - £14 roughly- and size up.

I think skinny jeans look really dated. And I'm saying that as someone who most suits skinny jeans. You need to go to a shop OP and try lots of different shapes on - there will be something that suits you as much as skinny jeans. I am going to wear really baggy low(ish) slung ones I think next - I have a pair from Raey that I really like.

I second going to H&M or John Lewis or somewhere and just trying loads of pairs on.

And if I can find non-prairie style dresses, I might wear those too.

I agree @HelenHywater they are and have been for a few years now. The only people I see wearing them now are older people- my age 😂

They're supposed to suit pear shapes like me. I used to think I looked good in them, but I have some photos of me looking awful, probably because they need boots or heels. With flats, the fabric sort of gathers at the end and I can only wear flats now :(

I bought a cropped fitted flare that looked good in the shop even though it was high waisted and that's not great for me. I then went to a party for a few hours and felt really ill afterwards. Google told me that if you have GERD or IBS you can't wear high waisted. However, almost everything seems to be high waisted now. Anyone got any tips? Would a bigger size help or control pants underneath?

I've been wearing my girlfriend ones recently, but have the opposite problem with them in that they fall down even having bought one size down. They're comfy but not flattering at all.

I went to M&S a couple of days ago and they didn't have any cropped ones :(

I agree. Jeans all look the same to me anyway, but if you like a particular style and it suits you, then go for it.

Re the MN diktats, I particularly liked one poster proclaiming wedge espadrilles were a no go for anyone under 50 when only a week earlier one of The Times top fashion writers had been praising a pair of M&S wedge espadrilles to the heavens

@Gwenhwyfar Primark have wide leg cropped jeans, might be worth a try

Yes for some reason jeans threads attract people who identify as 21 and size zero. Anyone else may as well just give up

Thanks, but I'm looking for fit and flare cropped ones, or maybe slim/straight cropped ones.
The wide leg/balloon ones just make me look fat.

I think the latest trends aimed at women over 40 (Jigsaw, COS, Whistles, etc) look really awful and try hard. I am tired of frumpy waistlines up to my tits and stiff, silly shaped legs. And I am not going to pay over £70 for the pleasure either.

M&S have some decent variety but all their styles are very high waisted and have small arse pockets, which isn't a great look. It's all a bit tired and samey. Shame really as they'd be fine otherwise. It's like they think all over 40 women are perpetually stuck in 1984 tv movie land.

I found the best jeans recently in H&M and Urban Outfitters - stores that I would usually turn my nose up at. They are of course much less expensive, yet soft, decent denim with a certain slouch (not hilariously shaped barrel legs or repressed versions of 'mom'), and the new, mid rise combats in thick cotton are amazing! I also found a really solid 100% cotton pair in Mango in a slim fit mid rise for £15.

I avoided stores like this as I got older as considered them cheap and bad quality, but I don't think the higher end high street knows what the hell it's doing nowadays, yet is eternally open to taking the hard earned money from confused middle aged women.

As for skinnies, I am delighted to have other styles to choose from and think this is a great time to choose new jeans, but it's the slavish trend following that looks dated to me, throwing money at insecurity and building up more waste. I see all styles of jeans around, a style for every taste. I say enjoy it, stop giving a fuck about schoolgirls' trends and relax. Btw, I do think there's a lot of tongue in cheek in Motherland and it isn't supposed to portray the positive elements of society. Julia is styled to be a bit haphazard and clueless to my mind, and the high waists that balloon around her stomach are awful. That said, the actress is a gorgeous looking woman and I love her work!

Oh! Also, if anyone is looking for cords in wide, flare, bootcut OR really well made combats, have a look in Superdry next time you pass one, I was really impressed. Some of the best quality jeans and cords I have seen in many years, suitable for any age range. Everything depends upon how you wear it. You don't have to wear a cropped top because the web model does. I pair my wider jeans with slim fit tops and cotton verst that fit neatly and not too long in the body.

Slim jeans. M and S Sienna or Lily.

Skinny Malinky Long Legs is a Scottish children's song. I can't remember the exact lyrics but Google suggests undernoted. The version I recall was "umbrella feet" and "couldn't find a seat". The expression skinny Malinky has its origins from the Doric dialect.

Skinny Malinky Long Legs
On banana feet
Went to the pictures
And fell through the seat.

It was what I was called by my parents when I was little. I was spider limbed on a short body and big hand and footed. So…
‘Skinny malinki long legs, big banana feet’

I am no longer skinny.

Thanks Mummy, but I need to try them on, even though it didn't prevent the last mistake.

@TheLassWiADelicateAir you beat me to it. I’m from NE Scotland. My grandpa used to sing that to me, and the next line (which he may have made up) was “when the picture started, Skinny Malinky farted”. My mum used to give him such a row for teaching me rude words.

OP, I would go to a Levi’s store if you can and ask for help. The sales assistants are always so nice, and will get you loads of styles to try. If Levi’s are out of budget you can try and find similar cuts in another shop.

We said skinny malink malojan legs, big banana feet, went to the pictures and couldnt find a seat 🤣🤣🤣

I embraced mom jeans last year and have a few pairs. But a few weeks ago I had an asos credit and bought some topshop Jamie jeans and went for the size up (14) because no idea what size I am for topshop - I’m usually a 12. Anyway they are nice and narrow at the ankle, a great fit on the waist that allows tucking in and still able to breathe, and because they are a size up they’re not like super tight to the leg. They come up like a slimmer fit mom jean. I tried them on and then my actual mom jeans and i think I look a lot better in the skinny version so ordered a couple more in a blue/black and actual black. Not saying my jeans are super fashionable but they suit my style of tucked in blouses and fine knit jumpers. The I think the black will look smart for a day in the office with a loose fit blazer.

I think we’re so used to seeing skinnies that we think they look good, our eyes got used to the shape. And of course people wear leggings a lot these days which are the same shape. It’s normal. That doesn’t mean that they objectively look good though. I’ve always thought that skinnies only look really good on someone very thin with thin thighs and I’m sticking to that thought.
All these people saying they’ll wear skinnies for the rest of their lives, I think will change their mind in a few years when their eyes have adjusted to a new shape which has become normal. I bet these women saying they’ll wear skinnies til they die, weren’t wearing them in the 90’s when they weren’t fashionable or very available. Boot cut or combat trousers felt normal and looked good to our eyes at that point.
Having said all that, wear what you like, but if you don’t want to wear skinnies then slim or straight look more current without moving into the more fashion shapes of wider legs.

I gave up wearing them in lockdown and will never go back. They’re never comfortable.

I highly rate Lands End jeans - I have the straight version long length and consider them a flattering fit. They are also much harder wearing than the modern Levis and suchlike.

Only 5'3 and top heavy, I love M&S slim bootcut. Just genius.