Can you help an old clueless fat apple please

[exnewwifeproblems]

I'm a size 18. I have what I have seen described here as a blob. A fat menopausal tummy.

I am disabled and it's unlikely I'm going to lose the weight so I have to accept it and find ways to dress it.

I'm short at 5ft1 and I can't wear heels.

I'm moving jobs and I will be in a director role and I don't want to look ridiculous.

Marks and Sparks trousers in short are my go to as they fit me well.

I don't do florals or patterns they look silly on me and I don't wear dresses as they make me feel drowned.

I don't mind spending a bit but I don't want to end up with stuff that I feel is wearing me.

I'm a size 4 in shoes with ultra wide feet and they need to be proper shoes and supportive - I can't do ballet flats and I live in brogues and trainers and a pair of granny sandals from hotter.

Can anyone help please? I don't want to start this new job in the clothes I have.

I'm not an apple but I do wear M&S black trousers for work. I really like the little knitted tops they're doing at the moment. Smart but not dull. They've also go a nice leopard print blouse I've got my eye on. I'll do links in a minute.

I have to have lace up, wide shoes with a supportive heel cuff. I've just bought the Hotter Nightingale shoes. I was dreading them but both teen DC have said they're fine. Usually they say I should give up and wear clown shoes.

I also think a Breton tshirt with a black blazer us a good standby to have for work.

This

Sort

of thing

They go well with a blazer

I can help.
Stop talking about yourself in such a way!!!

Other than that, see if you can enlist a friend/ family member who dresses in a way you like to come trying on with you and give opinions.
Once you know what to avoid, it will soon become apparent what styles to go for.

I like a non fitted dress that skims my beautiful soft tummy, and has interesting detail such as an asymmetric or tulip hem. Then an eye catching necklace or earrings.

‘Disabled’ (your word), menopausal, and you’ve just scored a promotion? Congratulations!

What sort of proportions do you have from the waist up? The first things that sprang to my mind are some very good shirts, like these from Budd:

www.buddshirts.co.uk/lido-spun-silk-button-cuff-shirt-in-cream.html

www.buddshirts.co.uk/penny-long-sleeve-wide-stripe-cotton-blouse-in-navy.html

I’ve linked two that are cut slightly shorter than the average shirt length, so you could wear them untucked with your trousers and they wouldn’t drown you. (Obviously there are plenty of cheaper shirts around - but you’re a director. And the quality is wonderful.)

Have a look at this brand of footwear. They start at size 3 / 3.5 and might be worth investigating.

You definitely don’t need ruffles and flowery prints if you’re not comfortable in them. Plain, simple shapes and good accessories will carry you through.

I wear M&S short trousers to work - try navy rather than black, it looks a bit more interesting. As pp has said, they also have some nice tops in a short length, go plain or animal print for interest?
Clarks shoes or Hotter - comfy and tick the smart box. Look for jersey jackets, they're a bit smarter than a cardi, but have a bit of give. I got mine from Hobbs, but look around.
Also, congratulations!

Thanks for the suggestions everyone!

Yes I'm delighted. I'm physically disabled and I'm autistic. I have declared that to the employer but it won't affect my job as such.

Why not have some leopard print shoes with your trousers for a bit of interest.
M&S

Congratulations on your promotion.
I had a colleague with very similar sizes to yours and I thought she always looked so stylish. Always wore trousers and top the same colour . Black or navy usually with a statement bag and earings (she didn't do necklaces as they annoyed her) and injected more individuality with her shoes. We were chatting about her style one day and she said it was great not having to work about what to put on and just wore whatever accessories she felt in the mood for. Her shoes always came from a UK company in Devon called MOSHULU. Must admit I have bought a couple of pairs and ,find them true to size. Think they have a sale at the moment.

Tried to add a link but wont work for me. Website is www.moshulu.co.uk

I used to do the same as your colleague @HelebethH , toning top and trousers and then contrasting jewellery or a scarf/pashmina. Over time I got braver with colours, so as well as black and dark blue @exnewwifeproblems, see if M&S do purple or bottle green, or lighter colours for the summer.

Definitely well done on the promotion, enjoy your new job!

@ hotdogonacoldday.
The thing that always struck me was she looked so effortlessly stylish. I always felt like a bag lady in comparison 😅

"Effortlessly stylish" is a good way of putting it @HelebethH or should that be @baglady😁, when you have a work wardrobe with enough clothes that go well together, and that need minimal prep (so nothing other than the jackets need dry-cleaning) it's much easier to look good instead of spending the first moments of the day wondering what to wear. I also got into the habit of buying the things I liked in several colours.

It took me a while to discover my style, but eventually I got the hang of it and could concentrate on the job but with a bit of power-dressing helping my confidence at the same time.

These days...I WFH and can mostly be seen in sweatpants and a t shirt!

Would you be interested in getting your colours ‘done’? I have found it easier to work out my wardrobe since I had mine done as it gave me a set of rules to work with & my whole wardrobe now works together, rather than ‘this top only works with those trousers’ type thinking. I also stopped wearing black which I have found more flattering.

I’m director level, 5ft 0 & size 18 and have some physical issues. However, I don’t dress smartly for work! My everyday work ‘uniform’ is navy jeans shape trousers (wallis petite, not denim looking) and a blouse. Often blouses with a vest under a sheer top. Works well on zoom! Shoes are hotter Mary Janes or Geox trainers. Do you know if your workplace is ultra smart? I also have a longline jacket to add if needed. I also have one shift dress / jacket for smart occasions.

I'm 5'1" and a size 18.

I'll be honest, I WFH these days so no idea what's stylish or fashionable.

Dark trousers (so black, navy and grey) with a simple white or blouse look great with accessories like contrasting shoes, scarves and jewellery etc. You could also try a bright or coloured blazer over the top.

Congrats! In a similar position I bought this www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-smock-tiered-spot-midi-dress-mid-green-white/p6032226

Comfy and surprisingly flattering!

Some nice silk shirts to wear with your black trousers? Or silk camisoles with a jacket or cardigan over?

Leopard print shoes are a great suggestion.

These are great suggestions folk. Thanks!!

John Lewis personal styling are good.

Op are you me?
I am watching with interest because I have the same issues.
Recently purchased extra wide flat shoes from clarkes they are so comfortable.
M&S black trousers. For tops I trawl the internet. I have found some lovely tops from Asda and Sainsbury's
.Good luck in your new job op xx

The M&S wide leg side stripe trousers are great and a bit funkier than plain black. They look good with brogues or with trainers if you can get away with them (I can’t, sadly, for work but wear this combo a lot for casual).

Great thread with some really helpful ideas.

I actually have a pair of those trousers and dd tried to persuade me to get another pair at the weekend - I might get them now :) I wear them with trainers

This new job is office based - smart casual from what I could see (I had a suit on for my interview) but some of what I've had all lockdown and wfh just won't pass muster.

Hi OP,
I am apple shaped too and find longer tops are the most flattering, or at least make me feel least self-conscious - look up 'skater' or 'fit and flare' for some really comfy tunic-style tops that are more fitted around your boobs but then flare out further down. If you can find some that just come to the top of your legs then you can wear them easily with smart trousers - and a jacket if you want too (again, a longer-line one).

Swing dresses are great for an apple shape. I am your height and shape, and I’ve bought them from phase eight in the past. If you buy jersey, rather than knitted, they can be easily shortened. M&S used to do lots of these in their petite range but I find that is pretty much non existent now.

Hi I am a size 20 but much taller than you. I am a board director and I get my best clothes from Marina Rinaldi. They only thing I would say is the sleeves can be rather long even for me!
Lilly Silk do great shirts (about £120).
For every day business I wear black trousers (marks autograph) and a silk blouse. I have bough some great pieces from Sahara. I have lovely bags and shoes. Silk scarves etc. I am quite canny and buy a lot from eBay. Congrats on your new job.