Help and advice for an ageing slob

[AKnitterofThings]

Slightly rambling post, sorry !
I have always hated clothes and beauty product shopping, I think it comes from being 5ft nothing and always on the plump side and losing my mum at a young age. I am 57 now and seriously overweight. I have let myself go! I have a plan in place for the weight loss and exercise, but I don’t know where to start with the style and beauty? I don’t have any style or any beauty.
I would love some tips on good basic products for skin care, lovely perfumes, good clothes brands etc. I am post menopausal with fairly good skin now, but half the time I just wipe with a damp flannel and that’s it. I don’t do nails, make-up, brows, perfume etc on a regular basis. I have this deep sense of not being good enough for these things and a belief that I am not worth it. But I want to start, yet I don’t know where to start.
It is time for a change in my life. I need some female advice, please be harsh if you feel I need it. I know I need a kick up the butt. I have so much to be grateful for but I want to look after myself now and be proud when I look in the mirror, not ashamed.

Good morning @AKnitterofThings It sounds to me like you need a bit of boost I would suggest that once you have kicked off your diet/excercise plan that you start with one thing at a time, perhaps week one, go to superdrug/boots and get yourself some skincare, dont go mad and buy shit loads, get a day and night cream, a cleanser, ask at the counter, they will help..week two, get your hair done, week three maybe get your eyebrows shaped and tinted, week four get your nails done and then carry on each week with something you fancy.

Take it a day at a time, you are deserving of treating yourself, you do deserve nice clothes, just build yourself up gradually and it then becomes second nature to look after yourself.

I don't think anyone should be harsh to you!

I have a "big" job but have a tendency to look shipwrecked if left to my own devices. I discovered only shopping in department stores helped me choose clothes that look "grown up" and "respectable". I have noticed people do treat me differently when I wear this stuff compared to stuff I would buy myself. Buy a few things at a time rather than lots, it helps you adjust to your new look.

Also spend some money on good shoes and a bag. You instantly look more put together.

I can't tell you about skin care and hair care, I haven't figured that one out yet 😅

Good luck and remember to be kind to yourself. You do matter!

Thank you both so much for replying, it really means a lot to me. I have ordered some Clinique sun screen and cleanser today and will have a mooch around Boots this week. I tidied up my eyebrows and found an old bottle of pink nail varnish and painted my nails today too.
I am starting the Fast 800 diet tomorrow and am planning a daily walk or 10 minutes on the exercise bike, so will be going slowly.
What constitutes a ‘good bag’ these days. We bought my DstepD a Micheal Korrs bag for her 21st but it wasn’t my thing. I love the Cambridge Satchel Company doctors bag?

I’m 58 short and currently overweight too
I dont wear make up and only use high st moisturisers with sun protector
however I do gel nails and toes regularly, cut and colour every 6 weeks and have lash lift tint and brows 6-8 weekly
im quite eclectic about clothes and shop everywhere from charity shops to designer outlets but have found dresses work best for me

Can you go for a facial? For me, nothing is so lovely and it does kick me back into taking care of myself.

I also love getting my eyebrows tinted.

I have nothing to add and I'm a natural scruffbag but wanted to wish you good luck. I'm sure that you are already beautiful inside and out 😊

Eye lashes!! Not brows. Lol.

I think getting your hair cut and styled nicely will immediately make you feel great. After that get a regular blow dry as it's a great mood lifter. I am older than you and just use a tinted moisturiser every day..from a supermarket..Olay..and my skin is great. Buy a few lipsticks and your off. Also agree with deciding to wear dresses as you don't have to plan what top to wear etc. Just pop on the dress.
I buy from Boden sales and get lots of complements. Better to buy a few good pieces than lots of bits. Maybe buy some that will still suit when you begin to lose weight.
And drink lots of water.
All the best with it all.

Well I think you sound lovely!
I'm 51 and have loads of beauty stuff done, and do loads myself.
I'd reccomend hair cut/blow dry
Eye brow shaping/tinting
Facial
Massage.
I live in dresses btw

I would buy some perfume op. Look on here for advise or go to a department store for advise. Try a few samples and buy your favourite. I always feel better wearing a nice fragrance.

@JaceLancs Thank you for your post. I would love to have my nails done so I will ask for a salon recomendation from a couple of friends.. Eyes lash tint is a good idea too, I use to have this done when I was in my early 20s. My hair is 100% grey now, but I have ordered some purple shampoo to brighten it up. I have used it in the past but got out of the habit. I have a hair cut booked for Wednesday already.

So much of this I relate to, especially after 2.5 years mainly working from home. Will be watching with interest.

@junebirthdaygirl Thank you. I love Boden and Seasalt but because I have got so big I have stopped buying. I have taught myself dress making since lockdown and have made a few easy to wear dresses. We bought an amazing water filter a couple of months ago and it has really got me back drinking more water.

One thing I do is wear good jewellery. It gives me a lift even when I am slumming around at home in old clothes.

@Spaceprincess Thank you for the ideas. I haven’t had a massage since 2008! Great idea. xx

@Penguinsaregreat I have ordered La Vie est Belle as I love vanilla based perfumes and I remember loving this when it first came out. Boots had some good deals yesterday!

@StartupRepair The support here is amazing. I hope my situation can help you too.

@StartupRepair any recommendations?

I started the day with a walk. Only a mile as I am very unfit , but I charged up my FitBit yesterday and got out there in the drizzling rain. It felt amazing.
I have a Fast 800 meal plan for the day planned out. I am starting with 5:2 as I know in the past I have jumped in too quickly and failed after a couple of weeks.
I woke up with a panic attack this morning dreaming about my Dad and close friend who have both died in the last few years. I think the universe was telling me to just do it now, no excuses as there wont be many more chances!

I'm in my 70s and am often told I have amazing skin .But I don't do anything (to my face )other than wash it with soap and water .If your skin is good ,maybe don't bother with complicated routines ?

And I've just discovered minidresses ,tunics and soft 3/4 length leggings .Though I do wear a vest with inbuilt support (uniqlo) under it .

Underwear that fits properly. It doesn't have to be expensive, I use Brastop for bras. It'll give you a better shape under clothes and you'll feel more comfortable.

Go to a store during the quiet time and ask someone (store attendant) who looks nicely turned out but not too young for help. Or book one, i think John Lewis do them. Be specific about your lifestyle - you dont want to come out with stuff that doesnt work for you eg smart if you want casual.

To maintain the momentum, I found putting aside 20 minutes every evening for selfcare was a great help. 9-9.20 is MY time 😀

I use it to do nails or a deep clean or tidy up my brows or buff and moisturise my feet. Sometimes just browse the net looking for something specific.

I always found it easy to get started but then the good intentions would get over-ridden by something else, so setting a fixed time worked.

Have you looked at Fairax and Favor for bags/shoes? Lovely products with a fashion edge and you can then build up from there.
Good place to start and then they have an associate page for accompanying outfit suggestions.

agree with the comments about getting a decent bra fitted. John Lewis (promise i dont work for them) were brilliant at the session i booked. I was wearing totally the wrong size. Nothing worse than seeing someone whose bust is going south.

Read through the threads on here too. It will give you an idea of things going out of fashion, eg leggings and tight fittiing jeans and whats coming into fashion (though you may not want to be leading edge you dont want to buy a whole wardrobe in something thats going out of fashion)