How do I not look like the walking dead?

[AnImaginaryCat]

I'm pretty much told at least once a day (feels like by everyone) "you look tired".

Probably because I am. I simply do not sleep well. Been an (unwilling) early waker my entire life. Now I'm cracking on and it's worse.

Anyway, I'm 47 and have serve hollow eyed look and not met a undereye concealer that makes a scrap of difference. (Though I admit I've no make up artist skills at all.)

I've a family wedding coming up and as always ith weddings bwvause of work/travel this means I'll be up late the night before and wake early the day of. I'll look horrendous. And this side of the family are horrible judgey types.

Please help. I'd just like to not look worse than my beautiful gran (who would be 98 if she were still alive).

Filler/Botox around the eye area?

iv started using the ordinary caffeine solution it tightens the area.

I should add the rest of my face is OK.

Also please don't say "sleep" as a solution. I'd kill if it meant I could get decent sleep (in some sort of strange exchange, presumably with a unpleasant magic type if being.)

Tear trough treatment would be used for under the eyes.

Go somewhere the morning of the wedding and have your makeup done properly.

Make sure you don't wear a colour that washes you out.

Nails done. Hair done.

Use Ordinary caffeine solution ready.

Really don't want fillers or Botox.

And for what it's worth, no one EVER tells me I look tired even when I've slept 5 hours a night for a week which is common.

I always look in rude health. No black bags or anything. So I never get any sympathy!

Early morning waking means you're very obviously perimenopause at your age

Get on HRT !

I'd been waking at 3-4am before I got on it and felt like death by 8pm - which was no good as I work til 10pm most nights

I can't unfortunately. Would love to but I'm travelling to the wedding on the morning. So sadly it's down to me.

I'm the same OP. The only thing I've found useful is a distraction technique - glam up the tops of my eyes and eyelashes so that they get noticed first and the undereye area isn't the main thing people look at. Or wear specs that have the frame going across the under eye area, so that your actual eye is what people notice.

I can't be bothered doing a full load of proper eye make-up every day for work so usually I just go with the specs and 2 coats of mascara.

A tan always makes me look and feel healthier. Even if you can disguise your eye area as such, often people say ‘oh you look healthy’ when I’ve got a spray tan. Maybe have a trial run spray tan and see what you think?

HRT. I’ve slept through every night this week, which hasn’t happened since my thirties. I’m talking ten years.

Use some Trinny London BFF cream under your makeup to give you a glow, and some Benefit Hula Bronzing powder to warm your face up a bit.

A tiny dab of concealer on the inner and outer corners of your eyes.

Cream blusher will make you look dewy. NARS multiple in Orgasm is my favourite.

Some whitening eye drops will help make your eyes sparkle.

And a good lipstick!

This from Beauty Pie is AMAZING, I’ve suffered from black eye bags for years and putting this on not over covers but brightens them

www.beautypie.com/products/superluminous-under-eye-genius-light-medium?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI04Cysv7H-AIVVIFQBh0YZAfSEAQYASABEgJ5pPD_BwE

Would a make up lesson be worth your time? Once you know some good techniques I think it would make a big difference. Also invest in a good product.

Nars concealer is excellent, invest in a good brush, the right colour and some setting powder. It will make a difference!

Filler will make a big difference but understand if you don't want to do something invasive.

💯 agree with beauty pie concealer suggestion!! Also up the water intake the week before and put a mask on your hair, a scrub on your face & have some dazzling conversation ready.

Consider getting your colours done. Wearing flattering colours make your complexion brighter and healthier looking.

I second this suggestion! A tan makes everyone look healthier and happier.

What time do you need to leave your house? As in - have you got time for an early morning trip to the hair dressers for a style? Then all you need to do yourself is your make up.

In your position i would also want to try to put my best for forward, but really, would i want the approval of mean people? Maybe better to focus on your whole wellbeing, and to arm yourself with practised responses to those statements.

I would go and have a make up lesson at Bobbi brown nars or whatever you have available near you. If you haven't got anything accessible they seem to do these online too but I haven't tried. Otherwise as people have said concealer and the nars pure radiant tinted moisturiser - stopped me looking dreadful with long COVID x

Have you always slept badly or is this something for your 40s?

If the later , try HRT

But not will you get rude remarks like “you look tired”. It is a crap thing to say to someone.

Do you exercise at all? That will make your skin a bit brighter. And wear colour as opposed to black or white.

Definitely get a make up lesson. And with regard to sleep, I’m sure you have tried everything. What keeps you awake? Is it noise or anxiety or a physical issue?

I was a long term insomniac and I am now cured so just wondering if I might be able to help.

I find if I am stressed my black eyes look worse. OP try yoga or at least face yoga daily. Cut out alcohol if you drink it. Have you tried using a face mask a few times a week? Do you exfoliate and moisturise your face?

You look tired could be interpreted as a sympathetic thing to say

I don’t know anyone who appreciates being told they look tired ie. shit

When someone says it to me I usually think thank you for asking how I am

Or else it comes with a .. sit down I'll do xxxx