What to do about greys?

[toomanystripes]

I'm mid-30s and have been getting greys for the last year or so, primarily around my temples and 'money piece' section.

Initially I was quite relaxed but there are quite a lot now, and they are wiry and can stick up/out. I'm on the fence about what to do - embrace/let them be, start self-dying (uncertain about the condition my hair would be in doing this?), get a salon colour, or maybe highlights?

I haven't coloured my hair in 15 years. It's a natural light auburn colour, like the photo, which I like. I don't want it to be high-maintenance, I don't really want to deal with roots every 4-6 weeks and I don't want to spend a fortune, but I'm not sure I can just leave it. I had hoped the greys would be white/blonde and blend in, but no they are shiny silver.

What has everyone done?

I started going grey at 25 and dyed my hair regularly with box dye until I was 40 when I went cold turkey and just let the grey grow in. It's personal choice but I'm so glad I left it natural. My hair is in great condition now. The colour's salt and pepper but I'm getting more and more shiny silvers and I really like it.

I haven't got many greys but they aren't welcome! They showed up bloody uninvited to my life and my head.
First I dyed all my hair in one colour but I thought that made it more noticeable as hair begins to grow (my hair is medium-dark cool brown). Now I get highlights every now and then. Mine are cold blonde so when hair grows a bit, grey hair isn't so noticeable. I don't always get highlights when I go to the salon, sometimes I use a toner in between, so the highlights don't disappear but the roots become less noticeable, it's also cheaper because I can stretch the time between highlights longer. At home I'll use a violet shampoo and that also makes the highlights stretch longer imho.
On a positive note I read somewhere about a drug they tested, maybe for Parkinson's, that had an interesting secondary effect: bald people in their 60s and 70s got a full head of dark hair back. Hopefully, we'll be alive and kicking when that comes into the market!

I started dyeing my hair at about your age OP, when the greys began to appear in earnest, and I really regret it. I'm 48 now and suspect my hair is now all grey under the dye, but can't stop because it's dyed darkish brown (close to my original colour), and it's just so noticeable when the roots show, and would look horrific to grow out.

I box dye myself at home and keeping on top of the roots is a nightmare. Feels like it takes up so much time and is such a faff.

I think greying naturally is the better option tbh, dyeing fools no one, is expensive and a hassle.

I use John Frieda radiant red shampoo and conditioner (my hair is a little darker than yours but lots of red/copper), the greys don't go but they take on a natural coppery tone so it just looks like highlights. I wash my hair every day in the summer and use the shampoo each time but the conditioner only 2/3 times a week as I find that has a heavier colour depositing affect. I use an argan oil conditioner on other days. There are no roots or upkeep to worry about and it just makes the grey blend in

I'm growing out the dye in my hair, my greys are also mainly around my hairline and either side of my fringe. I was finding that the greys were showing in that area within two weeks of a colour appointment, for me having my hair coloured every two weeks (even just root touch ups) wasn't something I wanted to find the time or money for. If you don't already colour your hair I wouldn't recommend it for covering grey, unless maybe you're hair grows extremely slowly or you go for highlights.

My hair is close to being all natural, it'll now go grey slowly over time, which I think is preferable to waiting until I'm fully grey and then growing it out and having a very noticeable demarcation line.

I started dying my hair in my forties. Stopped when I was 64.
Box dyes are fine and worked well for me for a long time but as I got older and the greys were more visible I used a lighter colour than my natural colour and this helped for a while but after a time the greys were more resistant and instead of the brown tones I wanted, they were more orange so I tried different brands with not much success

I found I was having to do it every two weeks by now and it was a bind, plus my hair was becoming very dry.

If you can afford it let your hairdresser take care of it, and if you can't then use box dyes until they no longer give you the desired effect.

I am silver/white now and relieved I don't have this chore any more. My hair is in super condition too

I saw my first grey age 23- same age I met my husband! Still a running joke 20yrs on!

I use L'oreal casting colours which is semi and apparently comes out after 24 washes. I've used it for years. 2 boxes for £12 on special. I can't be bothered with the time or money to have it coloured in a salon every 1-2mths or so! I get a few shades lighter than I want though.

Even thought I'm early 40's, I don't feel ready to go completely grey. IMO it can be very aging and equally requires alot of maintenance to look shiny and healthy.

I've been dying my hair since my 20s but the silver lining (no pun intended, honestly!) to greys is that my hair now picks up colours a lot more than when it was 100% jet black in my youth.

I now get it balayaged a plummy colour at the salon with roots done every time they start to noticeably show.

Not ready to embrace the greys yet! ( mid 40s)

I do an all over colour once a year and do my own roots every few weeks with nice and easy root touch up. This takes me 20 minutes absolutely tops, you only have to leave it on for 10 minutes.
I am 53 with super shiny non grey hair. It costs me about £60 per year.
Pre Covid I was paying £45 every 4 weeks to get my roots done and my hair looks better now as I can just dab a bit of dye on my temples or parting area whenever I want to.

I'm 47 and have a few greys in my parting line, but nothing too obvious yet. Reckon I'm doing alright so far. Will just let them grow in. However I have colour once a year so that will ease the transition. I wonder what itll be like to be fully gray? I'm quite mid dark with warm low lights. I've got thick curly 'big' hair tho, not much makes a difference to it!

Sounds like mostly consensus that keeping things natural is worth it, although I do feel it's ageing me a bit. My mum has been dying her greys since my age and is now mis-60s and a bit stuck because it will look utterly dreadful to grow them out. A friend suggested I get balayage done which I may explore, but it does take a LONG time to lift my natural hair colour and last time I had that done my hair felt really dry.

Interesting about the red shampoo - unfortunately I have a sensitive scalp so am quite limited with what I can use, which is probably another vote against dying it.

Those who are natural - is there anything you do to keep the greys soft and behaving?

Dye all the way for me. I'm fat, short and grumpy but I'm not having grey hair as well. It's worth the root maintenance for me! It's in great condition and everyone says how nice it is.

My natural hair colour isn't dissimilar and I still only have a tiny amount of grey at the parting. (Mid 50s now)

I left mine as I'm not a 'polished' sort of dresser and I like the lightening effect around my face.

As you get to peri menopause you might find your hair texture changes all over.

Sorry, not much help on the immediate texture problem but it might changes of its own accord

Mine is in great condition, shoulder length and I have it high/low lighted with 3 different shades to look very natural. I'm 65 and will keep it like this until it looks un natural. There are some people with quite stunning silver hair but without colour I'd just be a miserable salt and pepper. My mother coloured hers until she was 80 as she was not very grey, once it was totally white she let it go natural and it looked very good.

I'll second the balayage because that's what I do to my hair and it's more forgiving as hair grows. I'm not at an age where I'm brave enough to go start going grey, I find it rather ageing.

I started getting greys in my 20s and have been dying it myself ever since (late 30s now).

Grey hair does make people look older (no less elegant might I add, some people look fabulous!), and I might go grey when I'm older, but in your 30s it is very ageing.

I'm a similar age and I just got a Brazilian blow dry / keratin treatment. I am sold! It makes my greys blend because they aren't wiry and sticking up like before.

I like my hair colour and want to keep it as long as possible. Esalon is like expensive (£25) box dye but they can replicate my hair colour exactly and I diy it every 6/7 weeks.

Right now my greys are so patchy (like one side of my head) growing them out could look weird.