How to stop being a frump

[Sewannoying]

I’ve always preferred the low maintenance approach: hair cuts when I remember, new clothes if something stops fitting, no particular beauty routine other than cleanse, moisturise and basic make-up. Appearance or trends not massively important to me, probably because I could rely on being thin, young and in a career where look isn’t important. I’ve also been with DH since late teens.

Now I’m in my 40s, a mum, and a complete frump. Perimenopause has screwed me over (saw the post on this yesterday and completely agreed). Skin changes, loss of colour from my face, weight gain. Left with a mum tum from pregnancy. Frizzy greying hair I can’t dye or improve with better shampoo because I’m allergic to so many things. WFH, and while I always wear proper clothes, comfort is of prime importance (see also mum tum - shape change affecting what I can wear - elasticated waists are now my go to!)

Well I’ve had enough.

Thoughts so far include doing the personal shopper thing at John Lewis (any good?). Having my hair cut and maybe an eyebrow shape. (Nails are not my thing and never will be.) Buying some decent clothes for once. Finding more time for my appearance.

Does anyone have any ideas? Budget wise I could spent loads because of savings, but I’m quite a frugal person and the though of spending a £1000 on a new wardrobe makes me wince, particularly since I might not wear them all. Oh, I have to cut out labels at the back of the neck/waist because the irritate me. Size wise I’ve been buying size 10 clothes recently.

@Sewannoying I found during the back of peri and into menopause my anxiety and low mood was bad. HRT has helped massively but my recent tests have shown really low testosterone so I'm getting some gel to try and get that up a bit, apparently it's the missing bit of the HRT jigsaw as they don't automatically give that to you.

If you look back to the photos when you looked best what was your style? Mine is a bit rock chick / goth so I've started to incorporate that back in (leather jacket, band tees etc). I find vinted a good source of clothes so you can try your style. Also accessories and make up to match style. Sometimes all it takes is some eyeliner and earrings, or perfume.

@jeaux90 - thank you for that link.

@sleepymum50 This is SO true!

some people effortlessly pull off a style that works, others find themselves on a treadmill of beauty treatments etc. Or embrace and own your inner frump.

OP maybe consider a style and colour analysis. But yes if your inner frump is trying to escape it’s going to take a lot of repetitive effort to keep it banished which you might not want to give, it’s all about trade offs as we age.