Ordered 7 dresses. Hate them all and wedding is tomorrow

[intheaviary]

I feel so shit. I know a lot of people will think this is pathetic but I am really struggling with my self confidence and it’s making me not wanting to go to the wedding.
I just wanted to feel amazing for one day. I am 10 months postpartum with a baby who doesn’t sleep. My skin is awful. I hate my big boobs. And literally NO dress looks good on me.
When will I feel like ‘me’ again? I honestly wish I didn’t have to go.

Are you brave enough to share pictures? There must be one that makes you feel OK?

Would shapewear help?

Any quick skincare tips?

Shapewear and an amazing bra are your friends. Can you get to a shop in the morning?

You poor thing OP, it does take a while to feel yourself again believe me. Hang in there and be kind to yourself.

Do you have time to go get your hair done, maybe even your make up? A local department store should be able to sort you out. I think that will help you feel a lot better in your skin, even if you don't feel amazing in the dress.

Share a photo and you may get some great tips here.

Oh, @intheaviary this is the worst feeling.

But I bet you don’t look as bad as you think.

Not pathetic at all. Is there anything you can do tomorrow that'll help you feel a bit more confident eg make up, a hairstyle you particular like, your favourite shoes? Try to remember that no-one else will see you half as critically as you do, and focus on the wedding/catching up with friends/free bar.

I second shapewear and a well fitting bra, honestly makes the world of difference

Aah thanks for kind messages.
I bought a bra but it doesn’t fit right and I have some shapewear bottoms. The wedding is tomorrow so sadly nothing else I can do now. And just got out the bath so won’t be putting them on again for photos (don’t think I would be brave enough anyway). Actually in tears.
Hopefully I will feel better in the morning.
Wish I had prepared better!! Things have been so crazy lately. Me and dp not getting on at all either, so I’m sure this isn’t helping matters

Oh and usually what makes me feel good is getting my nails done but I couldn’t get booked in in time! Also had a hair disaster a couple of weeks ago (posted on here). Just want to crawl under my duvet and not come out

Last ditch - wear the shape wear with whichever dress is looser fitting and a dark or patterned fabric. Have a good roof around in all the clothes you already have and see if there’s something you forgot about. Focus on amazing hair and make-up, which you can control. Choose comfy shoes that aren’t too high.

Any of us who have had children have been there! You will get back to ‘you’ again, i promise. Tomorrow is just one day. You’ll get though it.

If they actually fit and it’s ‘just’ that you don’t feel confident with your postpartum figure I’m sure they will look great to other people.
do your hair and makeup before you get dressed and put your shoes on before looking in the mirror.
glass of wine and some tunes on when you’re getting ready.
Hope you have a good day

Post your shape, colouring/hair colour/length/dress styles and we could help??

From your other thread. You are very slim. And your hair is lovely. It sounds like you are unnecessarily down on yourself?

Any existing clothes that might be better ?

Also - any friends nearby that might have a dress you can borrow?

I am sorry that you feel bad. You have every right to want to look good at a special event. I wonder if you are being too hard on yourself. People do not often see your flaws in the same way that you do.

Are you willing to wear your shapewear bottoms, try on all seven dresses first thing tomorrow morning with shoes/sandals and take photographs? You can post and we will give you our recommendations from 1 to 7. You can then opt for the most popular choice.

💐💐

Regarding your skin, do you wear concealer and foundation? Can you apply a little more than usual. It will not provide 100% coverage over spots (assuming this is what you are referring to) but will give you an even complexion. You can then brighten your eyes and wear a bold lipstick shade.

Are you the bride, OP?? I'm assuming you'd not be this calm if you were, but it's not clear from your post?!

What matters is you being there, with a smile on your face, glowing with happiness for the happy couple. No one gives a rat's arse about which of the 7 dresses you wear. Wear the one that feels the most comfortable to be in for the day, do your make up and hair, bright lippy and have a darn good time!

other people will not be paying attention to you; they will be thinking about themselves!

I'm sure you will look beautiful. Go for good makeup, your favourite jewellery, good shoes, a nice wrap - you will look great!!

As @mnahmnah say op many of us have been there it probably is mostly you being harsh on yourself I can remember thinking I looked awful post my first child and now I look back at photos and I looked amazing!

Please remember your friends and family like you for your personality not for how you look think about your friends do you enjoy their company because of their looks?

If you feel up to it show us the choices tomorrow, I hate shapewear with the exception of a cycling short style every one I've ever tried just pinches and is uncomfortable so I'd go for something loser and forget about the shapewear as it always makes me feel worse but that's just me.

Have you got time to pop to any clothes shops tomorrow M&S do a big range now?

Not getting on with your DP won't help and is probably the real reason you are feeling low is this your first baby together OP? As that brings huge changes to a relationship.

I know this is a cliche, but the only thing you can change now is your attitude. Stop being so hard on yourself and so emotional about it. Do your hair, paint your own nails and put on some good make up. Wear the dress you hate least with good shape wear and shoes that don't hurt.Try and have fun with your DH and your friends. The first year postpartum is such a stress on our confidence and our relationships. Give yourself a break from the stress and try to enjoy the day. It doesn't matter if you are a different shape from before - you have a baby to show for it.

Just had a dig round on your other thread and honestly I think in all likelihood this is the PND distorting your self image. Your hair looked lovely and from the bits of your fave peeking round the scribbles you're really pretty too. Would your partner be able to pick out which dress looked best on you if you picked the three least worst to try on again tomorrow morning? I think it may well be the case that your eyes and your brain are playing tricks on you.

I'm quite overweight and I really vacillate between feeling like I still look pretty good and that I look like a giant blob. When the latter is haunting me I just have to try and shut the voice out my head until the more positive one is back in control. I recognise it's really hard though - sometimes I end up in tears which when I'm feeling normal seems stupid as hell.

It’s right chilly at the mo so you can cover your hated boobs and horrible dress with a wrap or jacket or cardi.

TBH, no one’s that interested in you or what you’re wearing - they’ll be looking at the bride and groom and the rest of the wedding party. Someone else’s wedding isn’t your time to feel ‘amazing’: it’s for you to be a good guest/family member/friend. That’s what people will notice, or rather, they’ll notice the poorly behaved guests, or the people who let the bride and groom down at the last minute.

Go to the wedding that someone cares enough about you to invite you to, with an open heart and generosity and good grace and a willingness to celebrate a very special occasion for people you presumably wish well.

Is there a large supermarket not far from where you are? They sell shapewear and I actually prefer asdas bras to M&S. I personally rate the shapewear tights from Asda too