Confidence crisis

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Wasn't sure where to post this!
I've got a wedding coming up at the weekend and I'm having a massive confidence crisis. I feel hideous, my self loathing knows no bounds.
I have perfectly nice options of outfits to wear but it feels like everything looks dreadful, I'm picking fault with every part of my appearance.
It's too late to do anything drastic, what can I do over the next few days to just be a bit nicer to myself?!
I'm not keen on weddings anyway (fairly fresh divorce) and hate the pressure of big events.
I've booked to have my hair done but I'm tempted to cancel; money is tight and I feel like I'll feel shit regardless. Okay this is becoming a pity party.. any ideas?

Hello! Didn't want to read and run. I think sometimes some at home personal self care is the best way to go. If possible, maybe set aside 1-2 hours just for you?

I would go for the haircut. Even if you don't intend to have what you want due to cost you could always just ask for it to be washed, blow dried and the ends tidied up? It might not feel like it now but a fresh hair cut could help.

At home - do you have any nail polish, nice bubble bath/shower gel or a face mask or some face cream? Maybe give yourself a mini spa session at home one evening - this could include a glass of your favourite alcoholic/non-alcoholic drink and maybe listening to some music or a podcast that you enjoy listening to?

In terms of picking an outfit, do you have any outfits available that you look at and connect it to a positive event/memory of where you previously felt good in that outfit - it might spark a bit of joy back into that outfit and might trick your mind into thinking it looks "less awful"

Hopefully you can find something that makes you feel a little better :)

Thank you @gymgirl11 some good ideas there. I'm just about to have a soak so I'll throw some bubbles in and see if I can find a face mask. A mini spa session sounds like a nice way to unwind after a particularly stressful day.
I haven't cancelled my hair appointment and it'd be a bit short notice now and unfair on the hairdresser. Maybe it will help anyway!
Really interesting point about outfit choosing. I realise that no, I don't actually have anything that sparks any sort of joy. Many of my old clothes remind me of my pre-divorce life. New stuff just doesn't sit right somehow, I feel like a sack of potatoes tied up in the middle my body hasn't changed all that much so I'm sure it's a psychological thing.

Maybe this is a good opportunity to buy something new to wear; something to associate with your new, post-divorce self. There are loads if gorgeous dresses around just now.

@Dundonian thanks, that's the approach I've tried to take. I've got 3(!) new dresses hung up and I don't like any of them on me. I did at one point, hence buying them, but after trying on today I don't. That's what's making me think it's in my head, because they're all completely different yet there's something about them I dislike- the person wearing them, I suspect

Don't think like that, OP. You just haven't found the right dress yet. I'm going to a wedding soon and I'm nervous about looking & feeling my best. We just need to be kind to ourselves and keep trying to find what makes us feel good.

If they still have the tags on, take them back there’s no point in them sitting there hanging in your wardrobe making you think of miserable times or making you feel like shit just get rid of them and if it’s doesn’t make you happy or bring you joy it does not deserve space in your house

Can you go in something comfy and familiar that isn't very dressy, but maybe style it up a bit? If feeling fab feels like too much pressure then maybe feeling 'ok' is good enough and that might mean wearing something you're really comfortable in. In these types of moments I think it's better to stick a mental two fingers up to society and wear what you want, not what you think you should wear. Alternatively, wear one of the nice dresses and just accept that you're feeling hideous. Sometimes I find that exaggerating helps - like imagining I'm the most hideously hideous ogre whose sheer presence makes people want to tear their own eyes out. I imagine it all in great detail, everything that I feel about myself, all the ugliness X 10, truly indulge in it, and then usually something shifts.

Spanx or some other sort of scaffolding can do wonders for an outfit that isn't quite sitting right and is definitely money well spent.