How do you pick your style?

[UmbrageWells]

I'm trying to cut down/ refine my wardrobe, which isn't a huge task, as I don't have absolutely tonnes of stuff, but I'm wanting to get to a point of having a nice, small range of good quality clothes that I can mix and match easily.

The problem is, I don't have one style, so if I were to choose some of my favourite things to keep, they just wouldn't go with each other! It's like I have 4 different styles in one wardrobe, but none of them are a "complete set" of everything I'd need in that style, and the styles don't overlap enough.

So how do you decide what your style is going to be?

I have no constraints in terms of work requirements, I'm a sahm, so could back any style, but how do I choose which one is "me"?!

I currently like and wear:

Leggings, oversized sweatshirts, sports bra, slouchy t-shirts (which is very comfy and practical for life with toddlers).

Linen wide leg dungarees rolled up, plain vests underneath, denim jacket, oversized sunglasses...

Straight leg or skinny jeans with loose but elegant blouses, delicate jewellery, and a small leather crossbody big.

And finally not-too-tightly-fitted dresses, either t-shirt or shirt dress, with boots or leather sandals and usually an oversized scarf (either warm or thin, depending on season).

And I love all these looks, and wouldn't say that one in particular feels more me, but I do want to hone and streamline my wardrobe, but I can't make my individual pieces work well together! They need to stay with their group!

So how do you decide what your style is going to be, in order to cut down and make any future purchases easier to "fit" with most of what you already have?

I would consider style to be more about colours, prints, materials, brands and such. Surely everyone has a range of different types of clothes from comfortable home/casual/sport wear to dresses, jeans, shirts and so on?

So different styles would be for example a super colourful look with lots of prints and bright colours, or a very neutral look with natural colours and materials, very few prints, or all black/darks, rock/goth type look, and so on.

I think we can become too tied up in the minutiae of clothing, with this idea that we each have a certain 'style', and whilst this is interesting, it isn't at all practical to real, everyday life.
To do this AND reduce the complexity of your wardrobe could be tackled more efficiently by looking at it a bit differently:

Say your life has 5 or 6 separate demands (kids, dog walking, work, evening out, fitness, hobby, what have you) then you have to accept that you won't dress the same for all of them. So trying to corner yourself into choosing one particular style, it would be more sensible and more economical long term to cover each one, minimally and without fuss.

If you have no particular demands upon what you wear (office, mountaineering) then hone it down to your absolute favourites. If something really works for you, buy two of those, and keep it at that. I have a shelf in my wardrobe for leggings (4 pairs), one pair of dungarees, one skirt and two dresses. I also own 2 pairs of jeans but not a big fan of denim. On hangers I have a few decent cotton or linen tees, and some technical tops for cold weather and hiking/yoga.

Each of these gets an airing throughout the year, depending on weather or what I am doing. I used to prevaricate a lot about what to wear, should I ditch the leggings and just wear skirts? Or should I live in jeans? But it never works, as you will become really sick and tired of one style after months of doing it.

You can have a small selection of good clothes that cover different needs. A great evening dress, something for a wedding/funeral, a long walk in the countryside, a trip to Tesco. So perhaps think about your needs rather than forcing yourself into a particular 'image'. You are more important than the clothes, and being appropriately dressed for any occasion will allow you to be your best. The clothes should work for you, not the other way around.

I like fussing about clothes. It's fun, I like the challenge, but when it comes to money and practicality, we have to know when to reel it in!

Also, if you really want something that you can call 'your style', whilst still covering all bases and necessities, perhaps choose something unique that you can wear with ALL of your clothes...........this could be a bandana, a silk scarf, a certain type of jewellery or hairstyle, mad socks, unique footwear...

Perhaps make the style about 'you' rather than the actual clothes. Something that carries your identity and interests through every walk of life. My DH does this with a vintage hat, and my friend can go from a funeral to a pub lunch with her scarves and colourful beads!

Thanks for all the thoughts and tips on how I can reduce and refine :) I think I'll pull everything out and try making piles of various categories until I find a solution that gives me the range I need but also is a good mix of pieces I can use in more than one outfit. I do need to look more carefully at the colours and fabrics and try to see what is best to keep.

I think the key thing I've realised is that my items are very stand alone. So a t-shirt that only looks good with one particular pair of trousers etc. Maybe I need to experiment more with mixing the styles I have (and no, it's not quite as extreme as shell suits vs office wear..!). Courage to be more eclectic!

Now, that specific example is interesting.

The whole point of a t shirt is that you can throw it on with anything. So, the issue you’re having must have one of two sources.

Either, as you say, you’ve blinkered your eyes and somehow decided that the t shirt in question only looks good with one other item - without, perhaps properly trying it with other things. Tucked in, left out, French tucked?

Or … You really are buying the one t shirt on the whole Internet that is such an odd shape or colour or fabric that it’s pretty much unwearable. In which case, if you want to wear t shirts, you need to look for something more regular and conventional. Plain, simple shapes, without embellishment, in neutral colours, or in colours that really flatter you and can be mixed with several other items.

Btw, are you keeping hold of clothes for years? Is it possible that garments that don’t mix easily simply don’t suit you, or the rest of your wardrobe, any more?

I think that an example of a t-shirt might be a tight fitting black t-shirt, which I'd wear under grey dungarees, but wouldn't wear with leggings or skinny jeans or dresses, as I'd frankly look like a sausage/cat woman if I wore tight fitting from head to toe (or a tight fitting t shirt over a dress would just look weird), so it's like I've built several individual outfits over the years which I love, but that I can't easily mix and match.

Likewise I wouldn't wear a dusky pink ruffle shirt under my dungarees, as the ruffles sit wrong, and I wouldn't wear it with yoga leggings (which are def "sport" looking rather than "plain black leggings" looking), so that shirt kind of only goes with my skinny jeans... that's what I mean by stand alone :)

Project wardrobe sort starts tonight.

(And the reason I bought a fitted black t shirt is because my baggier ones look daft stuffed into dungarees.

I think I just need to look at what actually goes with what, what I could start being more adventurous with, and keep the most flexible pieces that I love, so I can cut out some of the excess

Nothing to do with the thread - but seriously will someone ever explain why autocorrect corrects to made up words?

Here's what I do.

I mull over what I'd like to wear, and it's whatever looks and feels comfortable.

I go to Amazon and put things in my basket. Then I review that and pick my favourites.

Then I mull over them, come back the next day, and decide what I want to buy.

I used to do this in shops. I would walk around, pick up what I liked, let my brain analyse them as I was walking around, then go and put things back and buy the things I could not put back.

My style is looking and feeling comfortable, ready to move, clean, and ready for the day but at the very same time ready to relax with a glass of wine on the sofa.

I needed some very clear and easy 'rules' to simplify and streamline after finding myself unable to mix and match anything in my wardrobe. I found limiting colours and patterns the most useful for simplifying.

Here's what works for me ....

Divide up summer and winter clothes. In summer, box all winter clothes away.

Choose one neutral colour that suits your skin tone for winter, and a different one for summer.
Examples - Black, dark brown, charcoal, navy, olive. beige/tan (summer).

Choose these pieces from your existing wardrobe. Box up all else for now.
Stick to this rigidly when buying/new basic items such as dress, trousers/leggings, jacket, main coat, shoes, boots, Ignore fashion diktats. Plain - no patterns.

Choose just two lighter/brighter accent colours to wear with basics. For instance summer - blue/turquiose, green; Winter - red, ivory/white,

Tops, scarves and acessories and jewellery in these accent colours and one occasional bag/shoes/sandals/boots/jeans. Mainly plain but limit patterns to these items only, and choose patterns that are more likely to have a long shelf life - polka dots, swirls, small stripes etc. Keep staples up to date by supplementing with these items each season - a scarf, jewellery, bag, new top in this season's tones.

It took a few years of gradually building up key pieces but now works well.

Reading through your posts again - it seems you already have the elements of a style you like that suits your lifestyle. Using the analogy of a plain cake with icing and sprinkles, it sounds as if you might have too much of the icing/sprinkles and insufficient the basic plain cake to facilitate mixing and matching.

It's something I found when initally trying to pull together a simple capsule wardrobe. I just didn't have enough of the basic items in a plain, classic style in one neutral colour. It seemed counter-intuitive to buy more clothes when I was trying to declutter, but that's what was needed to make the most out of the clothes I already had.