What do you think of push-up bras?

[Nouveaunew]

I used to wear padded push-up bras every day. Recently I got measured and realised my breasts look smaller than they are as they’re quite saggy (due to so many weight fluctuations & synthetic hormones). They’re 32D but I have quite broad shoulders and they don’t look big.

Anyway, I bought some expensive, good quality non-padded T-shirt bras and it’s taking such getting used to. My breasts are held in better and they feel well supported but they look so much smaller now.

I’m recently separated and single and want to meet someone so I suppose I don’t want to wear thick padding all the time as it feels like false advertising and I don’t want a man attracted to me for my boobs! I bought some good padded push-up bras too but I’m going to save them for certain outfits and occasions.

What do you think? If we don’t have naturally firm larger breasts, Is it better to just accept our breasts as they are or is wearing a push-up bra every day the way to go?

I honestly don't know. I have had huge boobs since I was 15, and the very last thing I would do would be to give them emphasis. Almost every man I have ever met sees the boobs before the person. So when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I took the option of a bilateral reduction, and I am so pleased with the result. I still have boobs, but they are no longer the first thing anyone sees about me.

In your shoes OP, I'd take a twin approach. A comfortable everyday non-padded version, and an all out advertising for a man for dating events.

I'm quite similar to you in that I have reasonably sized breasts but they only truly look at their fullest potential in a padded push up bra due to sagging and loss of volume in the top post pregnancies and breastfeeding. I still love a bit of cleavage so I have a drawer full of both and I decide which one flatters the silhouette of the outfit better.

For instance, if I'm wearing a lovely wrap dress I'll want to accentuate the boobs more to draw in the proportions of the bust, waist and hip ratio so I'll go with padding but if I'm wearing a suit or shirt and skirt combination, I don't want to look particularly busty and I don't want gaping buttons so I'll go with a plain cup t-shirt bra.

Get both. Rely on both for different occasions.

That's really funny as I was thinking of returning to them as they're looking a big saggy in t-shirt bras now. Probably just for going out or to fill out some tops better.

Yeah I suppose a dual approach is best. I think wearing one every day was too much. I just have to accept how much my breasts have changed over the years! They used to be my best feature, now they’re just another part of my body! I’ll get used to looking smaller on a day to day basis and to be honest the PP who mentioned breast cancer brings it all home. X

Breast cancer, diagnosed early, is not necessarily bad news. It's not anything you'd choose, but caught early, it's not a life sentence with a tragic outcome. But never, never, ever miss your mammogram appointments. And yes, we all hate the squishing... but do it regardless. Please don't ignore the appointment letter. Glad I am still here for my family. Please stick around for yours.

My thoughts in general when I stopped (literally) buying into them were 'who am I wearing this for and why' and then feeling deeply uncomfortable with the honest answer. The whole 'false advertising' thing makes me feel very uncomfortable and I wouldn't be interested in involving myself romantically or sexually with a man (or woman) that felt that made sense to them. Why do they need to be higher and look larger on the chest, for what.

I appreciate we will all feel differently but at 34, I have been over it for years now. If it 'looks better' I don't consider that a benefit unless there is some benefit to me and there rarely is so I prefer unpadded comfortable unwired crop-top type of things or nothing if I don't feel a need. I'm happy with them and with myself in general so I'm sure that helps but as a point of perspective, that only really came when I stopped doing those things.

thanks @XingMing Here’s to many more healthy decades for you & your family.

@dontgobaconmyheart

Great username! yeah I hear you! I’m 42. I think because I used to get compliments on my boobs, in particular from men, I became hyper aware of them but also I felt more balanced with my broad shoulders when they look larger. But I must say I’m edging towards your way of thinking. I just tried on loads of clothes with my new non padded bras and while my boobs look smaller and there’s no cleavage as they’re held apart, there’s also no uncomfortable jiggling or fear they’ll fall out of the bra.

as for the false advertising, I suppose I’d just feel a bit uncomfortable if a guy thought I had these big round boobs and then we get busy and he sees they’re much smaller and saggy too! But I guess he’s unlikely to be an oil painting either!

I’m enjoying no longer wearing push-up bras on a day to day basis.

You know there is a halfway house between non padded and push up - plenty of bras have very light padding/lining to help give some form and cover the nips. Would that be an option? I'm the same size as you and wear these so my boobs don't totally disappear. I would just west what you're comfortable in though and not worry about men - if any of them get as far as your boobs they're going to be frigging delighted to be there!!

@orchidsunrise

Thanks. You are probably right about men. It’s about finding what suits best I guess. The new ones I have are ‘lightly lined t-shirt bras’ but no padding whatsoever. I’d love a little bit of padding but tbh I think the push up ones are just too padded for everyday wear. I’m also kind of accepting that I don’t have big boobs anymore. They’ve lost so much volume & are very saggy but I’m feeling more comfortable a bit more au naturale

I thought padded push up bras were a 90's thing.

There's nothing wrong with not having cleavage, it's just not what you're used to. Go for comfort. I suspect the new look is a bit more modern looking anyway.

I’m a 36F and have definitely struggled to get back into bras with an underwire since lockdown ( let alone push up). I think the modern clothing silhouette is much looser and softer - wider legged trousers and trainers and oversized shirts etc and I just don’t think push up bras fit that aesthetic.

@Iknowthis1 & @Divebar2021

Yeah exactly …it does look more relaxed & modern & it’s making me rethink my clothing choices in general too. It could signal a whole style change. I used to have cleavage in any bra and it’s just changed I guess, but no harm. Time for a change!

OP, I think it's horses for courses. We wear bras to enhance our figures and to be comfortable. So, it is certainly not inappropriate to look different with your bra off. Anyone decent person who sees you clothed and unclothed will understand this. It is not false advertising, it is looking your best. It's more important to have pretty bras so that you feel confident when with those who are lucky enough to see you sans top.

I think rather than thinking about occasion appropriate bras though, it would be better to consider which bra goes best with which top/dress. Not all bras suit all tops.

I have fried egg boobs so push up used to be life for me!! Now I wear padded bralettes much more comfortable and make them look the same size mostly.

Thanks @StarlightLady You’re right. I guess I’ve been afraid that I look so much better in a bra but you’re right. I need to focus more on myself and forget about men!

@Xztop bralettes don’t work for me but they look lovely on others I think. A friend of mine doesn’t wear a bra ever and she looks amazing but I can’t pull off that look at all.

OP, I wasn't suggesting forgetting about men, just about being confident with you own body.

I save the push up / padded bras for certain dresses that require a bit of help.

I think a well fitted, natural look bra is much more modern and ‘younger’ somehow, even if you’re a bit shrunken and deflated (like me! 40s, had kids etc). It also shows confidence in your natural shape, which is more attractive than trussed up and insecure.

@SaltNPepperSquid
True that! I can’t even use kids as an excuse -but lots of hormonal treatments from mid teens & fluctuating weight took their toll.

@StarlightLady
thanks. Yeah! Confidence is key . I think it just tapped into how I’ve been feeling about men myself. I’m on a dating site & guys have been texting saying ‘I bet you have great boobs’ & ‘I can’t stop looking at your breasts’ & those are the more PG messages! Obviously I’m fully clothed in my pics & modestly dressed at that. I’m just a bit fed up with men and their one track minds so I couldn’t be bothered caring what they think right now (I’m sure I’ll feel better once I close down my OLD account!).