How to find my style? (Again?)

[Goosethemoose]

Never been into fashion, and hate clothes shopping as I always come away feeling bad about my body. However… this now means that as an early 30s mum-of-two-toddlers, who had one mat leave during the pandemic and is now largely wfh… I have very few clothes and struggle to put together practical but vaguely stylish / attractive outfits. A gentle nudge yesterday from DH on the topic has both upset me and made me realise he’s right, and I’d like to fix this…

Has anyone successfully fixed a situation like this? I like dresses and tights but that’s not always practical, I’m not clear on what my style is really- I prefer relatively form-fitting things, and I wear a lot of black currently (probably partly through laziness!). I have a bit of money to throw at the problem, but I don’t want to just go out and buy random stuff with no overall plan, as I don’t think that will lend itself to actual nice outfits?

Please help!

Hopeful bump… am thinking of getting my colours done, but not sure whether it’s worth it? And then starting with underwear, as a relatively straightforward first step…

How tall are you, and what dress size? Do you want outfits for work, for out to lunch, or for parties? Have you any thoughts already about how you like to look?!

I'm the same my wardrobe is mundane because my life is in terms of WFH and not going out so much. I'm not THAT old to not have any style though but don't know where to start.

What shops do you normally shop at? I follow a lot of people on Instagram who put together outfits from certain shops like Zara and new look and they put the codes of the items so you can buy online and you can see what they look like on people and how to put them together.
I am the exact same as you! 33 had my second in the pandemic I started feel like I was looking frumpy.
I like the mom jeans at the moment and a nice T-shirt tucked in. Or long maxi dresses with some nice sandals for summer

I’m 5’4 and size 10… decent figure (if I do say so myself!) with a waist, not overly booby, varicose veins so strong preference for covered legs but like tights.

I find it easier to dress for occasions, because it’s a question of nice jewellery (have plenty), cocktail-type-dress (find these relatively easy to shop for), heels - job done.

It’s more the day-to-day, I guess. So I suppose the scenarios are:

1. WFH but not in pjs or leggings like I do now
2. lunch out and wander around local area / shopping with two toddlers
3. park trips and outdoorsy pursuits

I suppose the issue is we often do 2 in the morning and 3 in the afternoon, for example, and I end up needing a full outfit change… and still looking weird. And feeling cold.

What shops do you normally shop at?

I don’t! This is the problem… I would buy undies at M&S but haven’t in years, Next for jeans (again… years ago). I bought a nice dress and a jumpsuit from Mango, like, three years ago? But it’s rarely warm enough to wear them without a huge jumper over them (hence DH alluding to me dressing like a muppet).

There are lots of wide legged trousers around at the moment (M&S, Mint Velvet, MeandEm) which could work for all of your day to day needs, I often wear them with trainers, tucked in t-shirt or vest or long sleeved t-shirt (weather dependant) and put a leather jacket or denim jacket over the top. Or a maxi dress, again with trainers and same jackets.

Where do you get the long-sleeved T-shirts? I really struggle with choosing tops.

The one I've got most wear out of recently is the Mimi puff sleeve from Hush, they're plain but they do a few colours. M&S have quite a good range of patterned blouses (if you like patterns) at the moment which could work if you need to look smarter for Zoom calls while WFH.

Also, as PP said, might be worth following some fashion people on Instagram to give you a few ideas. I follow StylebyClaireLopez, DoesMyBumLook40 and ClubFortyClaire but appreciate you are younger than their target age group! 😁

I can maybe help on trousers. You're a very similar height and build from the sound of it to me. I like Mint velvet jeans - the 10 fits me well in standard length. I recently bought their Houston combat style jeans in dark grey and they are so comfy and flattering. I also got a white pair of 'Lily' jeans in petite at M& S. I like their slim ( but stretchy) fit. That said their sizing is extremely random. On trying the same jeans in a different colour they were much tighter in leg.

Thanks!

I literally don’t know how Instagram works, but sounds like I need to get more savvy…

For lunch followed by park how about “yummy mummy” sports wear- sweaty Betty or lululemon type yoga wear. For work how about 7/8ths trousers, h and m and Zara both do with slightly elastic waistbands, or Boden Richmond if more conservative work place; with shirt and thin jumper (Zara good for those).

People speak very highly of the John Lewis (free) personal styling sessions.

I’m just finding my feet and my style again (my baby is almost 1).
I started by getting some clothes from H&M that looked nice but could be washed and tumble dried so I would actually wear them. I chose jeans and tops that were smart enough to be able to WFH without feeling embarrassed on a video call but also I wouldn’t be upset when inevitably getting porridge chucked at me while wearing them..
Attaching a couple of pictures as examples (I find floral tops look nice for spring, this one I would tuck in the front slightly to look a bit “dressed”. Mid-dark denim is good as it can look quite nice and dressed, but stains don’t show as quickly as light coloured ones or black). For me, I could wear this type of outfit during all three of your scenarios. Hopefully helpful but just say if completely off the mark and I can try again!

Combat trousers are back and practical with toddlers. Just pair with a t-shirt and denim jacket. Could wear with sandals or trainers.

Or M&S have some nice loose trousers with a side stripe.

Start with basics. Wide leg jeans first, plain tshirts, some coloured sneakers. One light (khaki?, I love) jacket, a heavier jacket for colder days. Wear your jewellery, few mismatched necklaces, a bunch of rings.
When I lived in uk, I loved big cotton gauzy scarves.
Love that floral blouse above!

I'm late 30s and in the little kids phase of life, I have a stash of denim look leggings for home days (or tucked in wellies in muddy parks, which is our second home lol)

There's lots of nice ones in next and m+s (I also have some from matalan- don't judge) also soft on my post emcs tum. They are stretchy for playing on the floor, dry fast for the weaning/potty training/crafting phase when I'm always caught in the cross fire. They are passable for nipping to shops/playdates and generally opening the door and looking like a vaguely presentable human. They go with most tops and shoes.

I realise this is style + beauty but needs must sometimes.

Two blogs I like are "frump fighters" and "putting me together". Both American so tends more towards classic looks than high fashion but it motivates me to remember to at least put earrings on and put my clothes out the night before etc etc despite all the tiny sticky hands that try to thwart my style game.

Thanks! Am feeling more positive today. Am currently away so can’t do much about it now, but once we’re at home DH has agreed to give me a childfree day of shopping, so I can get this sorted…

I’m thinking I’ll start in M&S, get underwear sorted. Then a mix of Zara, John Lewis, Next and Mango? Looking for wide legged black trousers for the office and jeans for weekends, nice leggings, and then versatile tops and maybe a couple of longer sweater dresses, I think they’re cute.

Instagram has been helpful and I’ll check out those blogs, thanks!

@Goosethemoose

Thanks! Am feeling more positive today. Am currently away so can’t do much about it now, but once we’re at home DH has agreed to give me a childfree day of shopping, so I can get this sorted…

I’m thinking I’ll start in M&S, get underwear sorted. Then a mix of Zara, John Lewis, Next and Mango? Looking for wide legged black trousers for the office and jeans for weekends, nice leggings, and then versatile tops and maybe a couple of longer sweater dresses, I think they’re cute.

Instagram has been helpful and I’ll check out those blogs, thanks!

Sounds good, enjoy the shopping and don't forget to stop for coffee and cake

Absolutely! I hate shopping so much, so this is not a treat 😂 I always end up covered in static and feeling very ugly….!