Mine is:
fill old washing up bowl with HOT water, put in some bubbles or foot soak in
sit with feet in water for 10 mins whilst dh chortles at the madness of women
take feet out, dry
use cuticle remover, then use 'sponge' thing to remove hard skin
feet back in water, more laughter
take feet out, dry
slather in cream, put on socks
in summer I put nail varnish on, in the depths of winter I cry and don't bother