Help please for outfit ideas for shopping today - 46 & need to start over

[Littlemiss74]

I’m 46, 5’3” size 12 but with a changing body shape due to peri menopause. None of my existing clothes look nice, they are dated, too tight and shabby. My confidence is really low & I just don’t know what to wear.

I have adhd so find any sort of planning/organising tricky.
I have a habit of buying random items with no thought as to what it will go with. I then find it hard to put an outfit together.
The other night we went out for my son’s birthday for a meal. I couldn’t find anything nice but comfortable to wear & was in tears with everything strewn across the floor! Ended up in a dress & boots but when we got to the restaurant everyone was in jeans, nice tops etc & I felt awkwardly overdressed. I’ve lost all sense of what to wear. I have a wardrobe full of smart work clothes but no-one seems to be wearing these now at my work.
I feel so out of touch. I’ve looked on instagram but a lot of the current trends of long dresses, frills & puffs just do nothing for me. How on earth do I work out what style works for me?
I would like to just start again so that I have a minimal wardrobe but one that is easy to mix and match & make outfits from.

I’m off to the shops now & I think I would like to try buying whole outfits together rather than odd bits so that I know I can open my wardrobe & have an outfit for every occasion. I’d really appreciate some suggestions for the following occasions:

Working from home
Meal out with family casual
Drinks with friends
Meal out (more formal)
Work - office
Day out with family (& dog)
Day out - eg shopping, sightseeing etc
Coats for every occasion & every flippin changing weather scenario!

My colouring is supposedly an Autumn. I have olivey skin but I look pasty after the winter. Also I am noticing more signs of ageing and I look tired. Any make up recs would be gratefully received.

I need to address my eating habits and exercise. I just want to feel and look nice if possible with the minimum of stress!

Would really appreciate any help for my shopping trip today😊

No particular advice but your post caught my eye as I'm also 46 and a bit stuck with work-wear in particular. Things I have that I do like tend to be from Cos, Uniqlo, Kin (John Lewis), M&S.

What's helped recently has been moving away from skinny jeans into the looser style - feels more modern but better with a not-too-loose top or if feels a bit baggy. Looser Cos-type tops I tend to wear for work with slim trousers. I have a denim shirt-type dress (but not short) that I wear a lot - floaty stuff doesn't suit me. Shoes I'm totally stuck on! Looking forward to seeing what other advice you get!

John Lewis do a personal styling service, if you have a branch near you?

I'm a few years older than you and I like Mint Velvet. I find that their colour palette doesn't change hugely so things that I bought there five or six years ago will still look ok with something I bought last week.
I don't have to think too hard about coordination because it all seems to go with each other.
Plus the staff are usually super helpful in their boutiques, they will arrange to have something delivered to you from another branch if they don't have your size in stock.
Having said that, the price isn't always kind, I do tend to wait for sales or discount days.

I think if you shop in MV or similar sized places you tend to get much better personal service and advice, than the larger chains like M&S, Primark or Next.
Phase Eight is another shop where the staff will happily help you choose outfits, especially if you go midweek when it's a bit quieter. Again they frequently have discounts. I'm wearing a P8 top today that I've probably had for 8 or 9 years, it's not high fashion so the cost per wear has made it great value.
If you buy some good quality basics, then every so often choose something that is current and up to date you avoid that "Shit what can I wear?" panic.

Also, the thread on here where people post what they're wearing each day is fab for inspiration.

Too late for today, but hope you found some nice things.

What shops do you have available?

Do you have an M&S? Their jeans are good - you just might need to try on 20 pairs in order to find a couple that you like! A couple of pairs of jeans, some cotton knit jumpers and a couple of blouses to dress your jeans up a bit would be a great start.

MV blouse re my previous post. I've recently bought this from Mint Velvet, one of the assistants was wearing it in their boutique and it looked great on her.
So for the occasions you've mentioned I would wear this for drinks with friends, or a meal out (formal or casual depending on what else I'd wear with it) or a day out shopping/ sightseeing, I probably wouldn't wear it for work just because I'd rather keep it for the other occasions.

The blouse looks great with these grey jeans, they do a khaki pair too which is a good match but I thought the grey would go better with more clothes that I already have.
On a cooler day I will wear a cami top/ vest underneath. To make it more formal I'll wear it with smart trousers rather than the grey jeans.
To dress it down for a day out I'll wear it with blue jeans and trainers.

So it's not a cheap outfit but hopefully I will get a good few years out of the jeans.

46 here too and also a bit lost. I agree looser jeans are much more modern now but I also think some fashions are not for everyone and by our age we should probably focus more on what suits. Clothes are also lot more casual and it's easy to look dated in dressy things, unless for a very special occasion. I'd perhaps suggest some high top trainers as they can give a insouciant touch to most outfits
www.zalando.co.uk/converse-chuck-taylor-all-star-high-top-trainers-egretlight-gold-co411a1il-b11.html

Someone else recommended this jacket which I think would do the same thing
www.whitestuff.com/womens/coats-and-jackets/lgt-denim-helen-denim-jacket/?gclid=CjwKCAjw3cSSBhBGEiwAVII0Zx8ERTnTHVTcsywmzNaGyYN_sdZC30oDnCxs79Uu6BcFGps-krT_hxoCWGYQAvD_BwE#fo_c=3597&fo_k=6d04da4e3f3d759f1c0eea3a81a89307&fo_s=gplauk

I'm going to check this shirt out tomorrow, as I used to really like their cotton/silk mix tops when they did them years ago.