Huge belly with hip dips and saggy tits...

[HotnSunnyRainbowRoses]

Please help
I feel a right state.

I’ve never heard of ‘hip dips’ being called misogynistic at all. I didn’t think there was another term for them unless I’m mistaken?

It’s the very fact that we’ve come up with a slightly silly-sounding term for them at all. That we feel there needs to be a term for this - part of the relentless scrutiny of women’s bodies. I remember reading about this phenomenon of naming undesirable body features and it made a lot of sense to me. I never liked my legs much, but when I read that legs like mine were amusingly referred to as carrot legs it added a level of shame that hadn’t been there before. Not only were they not like the legs I saw in magazines, but the very characteristics that made them different had been pinpointed and held up for ridicule. I didn’t only not have good legs, I had Carrot Legs.

Well, today I find out I’ve got hip dips. Never heard it before, but you can bet it will pop into my mind every time I think of this part of my body from now on. And not in a way that makes me feel good.

You write about yourself in such a cruel way OP. It’s sad you feel so bad about your body. Imagine speaking about someone you love in that way. Would you really refer to a friend as having a huge belly and saggy tits? Please try and work on your confidence so that you can be kinder to yourself.

However, onto your ‘problem’: Not sure what makes hip dips a misogynistic term. I have hip dips too and I am not keen on them tbh. However, PP is correct that this is a musculoskeletal thing. If your bones and muscles are positioned in a certain way then you just have them. It is not solely down to weight, or a flaw as such.
I don’t like mine in certain clothing eg trousers/ dresses that cling to the hips, but I dress in a way that disguises them. Anything that skims lightly over the area makes them unnoticeable eg dresses that have a slight a line to them. Your stomach would probably also be flattered in the same figure skimming shapes.

@JammyDozen

I’ve never heard of ‘hip dips’ being called misogynistic at all. I didn’t think there was another term for them unless I’m mistaken?

It’s the very fact that we’ve come up with a slightly silly-sounding term for them at all. That we feel there needs to be a term for this - part of the relentless scrutiny of women’s bodies. I remember reading about this phenomenon of naming undesirable body features and it made a lot of sense to me. I never liked my legs much, but when I read that legs like mine were amusingly referred to as carrot legs it added a level of shame that hadn’t been there before. Not only were they not like the legs I saw in magazines, but the very characteristics that made them different had been pinpointed and held up for ridicule. I didn’t only not have good legs, I had Carrot Legs.

Well, today I find out I’ve got hip dips. Never heard it before, but you can bet it will pop into my mind every time I think of this part of my body from now on. And not in a way that makes me feel good.

That sounds like paranoia.

Carrot legs? That would suggest a lovely shape to me. Surely these terms are just descriptors, to indicate visuals. I can visualise carrot legs because of the shape of a carrot. (a leg that tapers down) How would you describe the shape of a leg (shaped like a carrot) without using short hand

Same as hip dips (which Ive never heard of) but once I knew what they are, they are just descriptors for the little dip above the hip.

@bellac11 - I read the term many years ago in the Sunday Times Style section and I can assure you that the tone was disparaging! It was used to describe short legs that taper quite severely. Similar to the many, many wistful references in that fine publication to how the average Englishwoman was unfortunately pear-shaped as opposed to more elegant continentals women.

I haven’t come up with this - the feminist idea that women’s bodies are picked over all the time and that labelling is a part of that isn’t new. They certainly did make me feel less happy about my body when I was younger, and I doubt I was the only one.

Everything has a label and a name, we use descriptors to describe something, womens bodies, mens bodies, tech, landscapes, personalities, everything has a short hand descriptor to talk about them, its language.

Im not interested in whether an idea is new or not, I dont have to accept it or agree with it if its not new, not every descriptor about the female form is formed from some sort of hatred. Its paranoia to believe that.

In terms of your carrot legs, I can only imagine a long slender carrot tapering nicely, so thats how you have to imagine them too.

I have cankles, which is where the calf goes into the ankle with not much shape, its shorter to say cankle though.

You could try butt lift shorts. Search Amazon. The butt lift part lifts and spreads the buttocks towards the hip, rounding out the hip and minimising the dip. They came right up to your ribs, so hold in the stomach. You can also get shapewear that's similar but has a shelf like bit to support your breasts. All on amazon.

We obviously disagree on this Bellac, and that’s fine, but it’s a bit rude to keep dismissing someone else’s POV as paranoid. And also to be so patronising. I’m aware of what language is and the concept of naming things. But there is a story behind how and why we name everything - it’s not random or necessarily neutral.

Also, I don’t ‘have’ to imagine my legs in any particular way at all. 42-year-old me is perfectly at peace with them not being model-like. And I know what I read in that magazine as a much younger woman and how it made me feel.

I had never heard of hip dips. I looked at pictures, they are just normal hips ! Yet another reason to make women feel rubbish. The non hip dip aspirational pics all looked photoshopped and like cartoons.

@5128gap

You could try butt lift shorts. Search Amazon. The butt lift part lifts and spreads the buttocks towards the hip, rounding out the hip and minimising the dip. They came right up to your ribs, so hold in the stomach. You can also get shapewear that's similar but has a shelf like bit to support your breasts. All on amazon.

Or you could accept that you have completely normal hips !

I have the same body shape. Hadn't heard of hip dips before, but pretty sure I have them too! I find trousers to be more flattering. It might be because I am tall however. I think it's because trousers make my legs more of a feature (not that they are great by any means) and therefore detract from the HUGE stomach. I'm a barrel. A dress would make me look even more pregnant than I already do. I wear either slim leg jeans to socialise or boot cut trousers for work. Wide leg don't work as well. Then I wear a top that skims over my stomach, think they are called pintuck and hanky hem tops.

Hip dips are nowt to do with weight. My BMI is like 18 I have a great pair of dips on me.

@HotnSunnyRainbowRoses

I'm following and with you OP in case any actual styling advice appears Yes quite.

I appear to have completely inadvertently caused much outrage with my terminology.
I had no idea ‘Hip Dips’ was an offensive term at all.

I literally just posted hoping for advice on how to style my body which is unfortunately despite the suggestions of ‘womanly’ and ‘curvaceous’ and all that exactly how I described; huge sticking out stomach, breasts that sag (I cannot wear a bra for health reasons) and bizarrely shaped hips with a very noticeable and extreme indentation that makes most dresses/skirts/trousers look quite odd and very unattractive.

You did not explain that adequately in your 8 word title. I assumed you wanted diet and exercise advice.

If you are self conscious about your shape then you need clothes in good fabrics cut to skim, rather than cling.

Yes yes, we could all join in the chorus of telling the OP to accept herself. As if that hasn't already occurred to her as an option. This is S&B and full of threads where women are asking for suggestions to improve or enhance their appearance. That's what the board is for. I'm affording the OP the respect of answering the question she asked.

I’ve had ‘hip dips’ my whole life, when I was a size 4 and now at 16 (also with saggy boobs post breastfeeding and a big tummy). You can’t change them. I used to be mortified by them, convinced I was fat at size 4. You’ll be much happier once you accept they are completely normal and down to the shape of your skeleton, you can’t change it no matter what!

I had to Google hip dips too. As far as I'm concerned they're a good thing. I have them now that I'm way more toned and I didn't have them when I was bigger. What's not to like about them?

Uhh hip dips ..isn't that just having thighs, some of us are pear shaped some not.

And have you tried non wired bras or pull on tops ? What's the issue the getting it on, the comfort ? I have Sloggi wow comfort bras. They don't have the wiring but have some shaping and boning in the side to prevent that sagging or moving that non wired bras often do. For some reason killer the first wear then fine.

Decent, well fitting bra that pushes up. That will make your stomach area longer and slimmer as well. Don't wear anything that clings round the front of your belly. Accentuate features you like, so you may have long legs, toned arms or a pretty face, enhance your face with a bit of new makeup and a new haircut?
I wouldn't worry about the 'hip dips' I didn't know what that was until my very slim 13 year old dd who does dancing said she had them? Looked like a normal muscular feature to me (ie normal hips and not a negative).

@PickAChew no OP did not say that however it's the style and beauty section

A vest with inbuilt support would be a good start.
Don't buy fabrics that cling - go for natural and size up if it's close fitting. Think about colour and texture - often that will make you feel more positive - lots of nice spring colours out at the moment.
Do you want dresses or separates?

I thought hip dips were there to stop your pants falling down...

Seriously the trick to feeling/looking good is in finding the brands cut to suit your body type which is trial and error

Also a good bra

What are hip dips ..sound like something from the sweet counter!!

@YanTanTetheraPetheraPimp

I’ve started calling myself voluptuous, more like a Reubens woman and oddly it really helps! I don’t think I will ever be a size 14 again (medical condition and medications) but bugger it, life’s too short to still be fretting away when I need to crack on with living! A friend suddenly dropped dead a few weeks ago and it’s shown me just how unpredictable life is. For what it’s worth I am 68, size 16-18, 5’6” and silver haired. Hearing aids and glasses are permanent accessories 🙃

This does help. My body naked looks very like Botticelli's the birth of Venus. Helps remind that we were all once the beauty ideal but also that for that reason the current beauty ideal doesn't mean much!

Style advice - old type 70s tailored jeans without a stretch in them. Not comfy but very flattering as hold their own shape, not sticking to anyone's tummy or hips