Being High Maintenance

[Malibuismysecrethome]

Could I just ask what you would consider High Maintenance style wise. Does it have to cost £££’s or is it attitude. I’ve been told I’m Low maintenance might need to up my game.

It’s costs ££. I think it’s ok if you enjoy that sort of thing because it’s also a lot of effort at home too and you have to want to do it.

Who told you that??

As long as you’re clean and presentable, You need to be whatever level of maintenance works for you.

I'm happy to be low maintenance

Why do you want to be high maintenance?

Someone once told me he was really happy with how the relationship was going and he was so glad I was low maintenance, i think what he actually meant was he was happy that he didn’t have to put much effort in. If only he knew I was simply letting him show his true colours. He was super surprised when I ended it

I've heard low maintenance described several ways. Looks-wise it can often mean naturally pretty so doesn't need much effort to begin with. Whenever I've heard a guy say it, it's usually been about the absence of drama, unrealistic demands, and happy to be spontaneous without needing 2 hours for makeup and hair first.

Whatever you're doing re upping your game and spending extra, make sure that you're doing it for you, and it makes you happy and feel nice. It's bad enough having a gender pay gap without paying ££ on top for painful procedures and waxing purely for a man's approval.

^Eatsleeprantrepeat* thank you, sadly I’m a widow I would be doing it for myself.

I always have a pedicure but wince my way through it. Occasional blow drys and hair appointments. Could do with losing some weight lol. I feel like I’m missing something. I wear make up but I’m just as happy with drug store make-up as high end. Feel like a make-over but don’t know where to start really.

Sorry to hear that @Malibuismysecrethome! I don't think you need to spend £££ to feel and look good, just go with what feels good for you. Things I do to make myself feel good are going to a trusted hairdresser and getting my hair done, with their suggestions about new colours & styles, and some people like getting their eyebrows shaped and tinted to feel more polished (mine don't actually grow any more so just need a bit of gel/pencil occasionally!). My next thing is to try and grow my bitten nails out so I can have a nice natural manicure done in a nude colour.

Rather than focus on bits you're not happy with and may take a while, eg weight, do you have any bits you really like that you could pay more attention to and make a feature of? Like if you like your eyes, a moisturising eye cream and a new eyeshadow and brush? If you have clear skin (of any age) a new blusher or light bronzer might make you feel a bit brighter.

I've started being more high maintenance since excessive weight loss it costs a fortune ! Nails , full head of highlights , Baby Botox , little bit of filler , occasional facials , eye lash extensions , eyebrows. Then it gets addictive and you end up spending loads .

Thank you both!

The funny thing is I don't feel anymore attractive after all my tweaks the brain is a funny thing.

@veevee04

The funny thing is I don't feel anymore attractive after all my tweaks the brain is a funny thing.

The marketing pressure and expectations on women for this stuff is incredible, as well as the renewal cycle - knowing you need to go back anyway to get extensions / nails moved professionally means a lot of people keep going in to get them renewed. (I know some women enjoy it, many don't).

I tried to get a salon appointment just to get the gels removed as I hated the feel of them (the removal service is listed on their website) but I just got a technician on the phone going on about why I didn't want them re-done, so removed them myself with a kit from boots on the end - so glad I didn't go for acrylics that I can't take off myself.

It can be tough to stop all the tweaks when your friends are getting it done as well.

Low maintenance is the dream is it not? Whether that's your car, your house, your body or your face.

When is hear someone described as high maintenance, I imagine someone who takes a long time (and probably a lot of money) to maintain themselves. So dyed hair, fake stuff, lots of make up, Botox, etc, etc.

High maintenance could also refer to the lifestyle they're living too, in which case I imagine them in expensive cars, going on expensive holidays, eating at expensive restaurants, etc, etc.

I don't see a problem with being low maintenance. My free time goes to exercise and eating well. I buy good quality clothes, wear a bit of makeup up and style my hair that's it.

I suppose there is pressure but I feel a bit out of the loop and that I’m not making enough effort.
I like products, perfume, make up etc but feel a bit dated.

High maintenance from a grooming perspective is ££ but can also be achieved through spending a lot of time doing things yourself at home such as facials, eyebrows and lash tint, spa days in the bathroom doing hair masks, face masks, body wraps (algae and cling film 😂), shaving/waxing, tweezing, exfoliating, moisturising, tanning, salt baths, nail painting etc.

I’ve recently massively upped my game after losing myself following a very long relationship break up and have baby Botox, cheek filler (very tiny amount), highlights and cut every 6 weeks, gel nail extensions (hated on mn but I like them) every 2 weeks, gel toenails every month or so. Also a course of microdermabrasion and then several hydrafacials to bring my skin up to scratch.

Then at home I’ve started a comprehensive skincare regime incorporating peptides, aha, range of acids, exfoliators, retinol, niacinimide, oils (marula and rosehip), babyfacial, lots of masks and different moisturisers. Tan drops in moisturiser and st tropez tan mousse for body.

I’ve bought a Philips lumea and eyeing up a Dennis gross light mask and foreo bear.

Just started using gatineau aha body moisturiser and it’s amazing. Once you start really taking care of yourself it does show; even if it’s just how you feel shining out of yourself.

I wouldn’t say low maintenance was in any way bad, and agree with pp that when a man says it, it’s likely to pertain more to your character than how many skincare products are used. If you want to do more, then just have fun treating yourself to whatever pampering you either enjoy, (or enjoy the results of at least) and go from there.

I think I'm low maintenance. I don't get my nails done, keep them neat looking myself. I use usual face care, including Retin-A, and decent moisturiser and sunblock. I get my hair done properly around once a year, which includes getting it coloured, I do my roots myself
I've been using a alumna for a few years now, and have no hair where it's not wanted. I sometimes make an effort with clothes, but I'm usually dressed for working out or dog walking. N that's the thing I care most about really, working out and training ddog

Using a Lumea...

There’s no right or wrong here, if you want to do it then do, if you don’t want to then don’t.

A manager of mine didn’t even do haircuts, her dh gave her a number 3 all over once a month. Lovely woman.

Have a wee read of this book enclosed honestly it is absolutely eye-opening. I have become extremely low maintenance after i read this.

When I’m old I’ll be grey and literally invisible and have no interest to anyone, and then I’ll wonder why I bothered wasting money now that could’ve been spent on a Caribbean cruise in my dotage.

I think high maintenance is when you need loads of products and paraphernalia when you go on a trip. You find it hard to travel light.

Also if someone has very obvious fake bits such as eyelashes or nails, since they do literally need the maintenance.

@Strugglingtodomybest

When is hear someone described as high maintenance, I imagine someone who takes a long time (and probably a lot of money) to maintain themselves. So dyed hair, fake stuff, lots of make up, Botox, etc, etc.

High maintenance could also refer to the lifestyle they're living too, in which case I imagine them in expensive cars, going on expensive holidays, eating at expensive restaurants, etc, etc.

I know someone who is high maintenance like you describe but doesn’t have the lifestyle to go with it. So in reality she just wanted loads of her time to sit around her house all dolled up with nowhere to go.

@Nothappyatwork

Have a wee read of this book enclosed honestly it is absolutely eye-opening. I have become extremely low maintenance after i read this. When I’m old I’ll be grey and literally invisible and have no interest to anyone, and then I’ll wonder why I bothered wasting money now that could’ve been spent on a Caribbean cruise in my dotage.

Thanks for the book recommendation. I've gone low maintenance since WFH full time because I'm not always on show at work, presenting to large groups etc, and I'm saving so much money!! Plus the weight gain has meant the more expensive clothes brands no longer stock my size .

Zoom has honestly been so freeing, our workplace refuse to mandate having cameras on for privacy reasons, so people have to actually focus on what I say, not how I look when I'm doing it. I've been far more effective too because I'm so focused on delivering the material, not whether my dress is sticking to my tights or if my foundation is starting to go patchy.