Do you feel differently about the same clothes on different days?

[VerityPJohnson]

I've come to the conclusion that it's very hard to know what should stay or go in my wardrobe (which has far too many things in it) because one day I'll put something on and love it and two days later I'll put the same thing on and think it looks awful. Kind of like good and bad hair days.

I think I've worked out that it does depend on what I'm doing that day, e.g. my standards would be higher if I was going to see lots of people, and potentially it might be partly linked to my cycle.

Does anyone else get this? Or once you love a garment is that it?

100% yes to this. Also, the way my hair has fallen that day won’t necessarily suit the outfit.

Yes I do, and it's mainly rooted in how I feel about myself/body.

I get this!

I buy something and love it, try it on at home with various other things and feel really happy to have found something just right.

4 days later, not so much. I get this a lot and honestly thought it was me, or that my judgement was faulty. I haven't a clue what it means, but a recent ebay purchase is a good example, a lovely dress which suited me on trying, then looked utterly drab a few days in.
Why oh why?

With myself it is often my hair like a pp said.
It makes or breaks any outfit and even seems to decide what colours suit me. It isn't something I can easily control, so yeh, quite irritating.

I do have a few items though that NEVER do this, and are permanently flattering. Perhaps we should only keep those items that do this!? I have a linen cardigan that literally lights my face up whenever i put it on, even after sod all sleep and a very bad hair day. Perhaps it is the colour (beige, lucky me! lol), I don't know. But the over all fit and style of it really suits me too.

What does it all mean?

I think I know what you mean, or maybe a related feeling. I am always looking for the perfect wardrobe, and that every item must 'spark joy' (early Marie Kondo adopter ).
That means that not only must each item be nice, but also work as a whole collection (not matching, but all items equally 'liked'). Sometimes adding something new that I love will make other items suddenly seem not good enough.
And I sometimes make rules, but then change them. E.g. cardigans are frumpy....wait no they aren't...buy a few, realise that the longline ones are not flattering, then decide that only shorter ones with a certain 'weight' are allowed. Or, with the jeans wash, flipflop between all washes, to dark wash only, then back to thinking light wash are nice again. These behaviours are definitely connected to moods. When I am happy, I am not obsessing over my wardrobe and it's contents or focusing on arbitrary 'rules', and I enjoy putting together outfits, and feel that I look nice.
Another thing I have realised is that certain outfits get associated too much with certain times, and that makes me want to get rid of them, even if it is a fairly neutral memory. Can feel like having a mental 'fresh start'.
Finally, sometimes I identify gaps in my wardrobe, like 'what if I were invited to a roof top pool bar / interview / 5 day conference / black-tie ball RIGHT NOW', and then I feel a burning urgency to fill this gap, with items that are rarely used as the above events don't really happen.
It's quite a weird topic, I spend much longer thinking about these things then I think is 'normal'. Think it must be about control/unhappiness deep down. I always think, if you could see me, wearing jeans, top & trainers and looking completely average you would have no idea of the amount of brain space/energy to get to that point .

Oh god !

The dreaded ''i've got NOTHING to wear that doesn't make me look HIDEOUS'' events.

This usually happens to me about 10 mins before i have to leave the house when i've innocently popped upstairs to grab a cardigan and started second guessing what i've got on even though i've happily had it on loads of times before.

Awful!
For me it can strike for big events or suddenly even when just going to work or tesco

Clothes fly everywhere, your hair and make up get trashed with all the frantic trying on and you end up hot and sweaty and totally disillusioned with your whole life and everything in it!

And then the next day you're fine

(or maybe this is more just me?)

@JillPole123 - ''I always think, if you could see me, wearing jeans, top & trainers and looking completely average you would have no idea of the amount of brain space/energy to get to that point''

Yes!
I usually end up in exactly what i started out in after one of my episodes and think to myself ''no one will realise the hell i've just been through only to come out of it looking exactly as i normally do!''

Yes I've purged my wardrobe, given to charity then 3 months later I'll think "Oh that blue top would look ace with this skirt!"
Then remember said blue top was donated.
Thus has happened a good many times

@Laiste Funny right! I once went clothes shopping with some colleagues killing some time before an event. I was standing next to my colleague and we were both idly browsing the clothes, and I turned to her and said something like 'God, I spend so much time thinking about outfits, finding the 'right' things, it's crazy' and she politely smiled and was like 'Oh! Really?' but the conversation fizzled out because there is NOTHING remarkable about the way I dress. Think she was genuinely trying to understand what I meant, but I feel by rights I should look 1000x better than I do

@ouch321 Yes! The wardrobe purging Finally decide this week that light wash jeans are 'allowed' again, and was looking through some old photos from 2 years ago and had a lovely pair of light wash jeans in one of the photos - nowhere to be found... whhhyyyy?!

Yes, for me it’s hormone driven. Yesterday I could have picked out at least four pairs of shoes I could have worn with my outfit. Next week I’m sure I’ll be bemoaning the fact I have no shoes to go with anything!

@ouch321

Yes I've purged my wardrobe, given to charity then 3 months later I'll think "Oh that blue top would look ace with this skirt!" Then remember said blue top was donated. Thus has happened a good many times

@ouch321 I think I’m you! A forever cycle of clearing our, forgetting, searching for an item, remembering I donated it, feeling sad, searching Vinted for the same thing… ad infinitum

[quote JillPole123]@Laiste Funny right! I once went clothes shopping with some colleagues killing some time before an event. I was standing next to my colleague and we were both idly browsing the clothes, and I turned to her and said something like 'God, I spend so much time thinking about outfits, finding the 'right' things, it's crazy' and she politely smiled and was like 'Oh! Really?' but the conversation fizzled out because there is NOTHING remarkable about the way I dress. Think she was genuinely trying to understand what I meant, but I feel by rights I should look 1000x better than I do [/quote]
I relate.

@Laiste I get this. I’ve got slight OCD so don’t like leaving the house in a mess and have to tidy all the clothes away after a frantic trying on. I try to plan outfits in advance but then there’s this thing where what looked great two days ago doesn’t look so great now!

@JillPole123 This is absolutely me too, people probably think I look reasonably put together but not in relation to how much time I spend on thinking about clothes. The move away from skinnies has really thrown me as they suit me so am going backwards and forwards on that. Sometimes I think it’s a legitimate hobby and just something I happen to be interested (I look very carefully at what others are wearing, which probably makes me even more paranoid about myself) and at other times I do wonder if it’s more of a mental health issue/my perfectionist tendencies.

Oh the skinny jeans wobble.

They suit me best too. Also we're muddy here in the countryside and they're just great for wearing with boots - and i love them too when it's a bit warmer with flip-flops.

I cant see me in dragging boot cuts ever again and i would look bloody silly in ''mum jeans''. I've decided to just stick with skinnys for day to day stuff.

I've got a couple of pairs of lovely wide leg palazzo pants which i can bring out when i feel i need to look trendier. But honestly they kick off my clothes panic more than anything else. I like them with a fitted vest top, nice jewellery, nice bag ect, but start feeling they look like shite on me if i have to put an extra layer on (which obvs you do in winter) and off we go again

@JillPole123 I am exactly the same! I spend ages trying to cultivate my wardrobe, make sure it all goes together in outfits, keep it slightly minimal. Then this weekend I realised I have no v neck jumpers and spent hours on vinted looking for these.

But mostly I just wear jeans and sweatshirt and no one knows the wasted time trying to look a bit more stylish.

I've actually been thinking about this a lot this weekend, so interesting to read this thread!

@VerityPJohnson @Laiste , Yep the skinny jean debacle. I could just wear high waisted dark wash skinny jeans forever and look reasonably okay, but at the moment am experimenting with a relaxed, mid wash style and flares in a dark wash. But now this just leads to footwear issues - so simple with skinny jeans but now have to carefully consider what to wear on my feet.
I do see this akin to a hobby, but also maybe as a way of trying to express 'something' about myself, but I am not sure what. I don't have a differentiated style really. I want to look 'cool', but not too fancy - maybe effortless and that I am dressed suitably for the occasion and of course, attractive .
So many intersections. For example, on (some quasi-feminist) principle I go bare-faced at work, although I like make up and it enhances my looks. So I am limited to a fairly natural style with my wardrobe to avoid a mismatch between face and outfit. But then I will decide that I am going to wear makeup, and do so for a week or so, feeling pretty happy until I change my mind again .
Last week on a whim I applied a full body fake tan and it looked great. Had a much higher impact than any wardrobe choices. Now I have a separate crisis, to tan or not to tan, and all the associated drama

@RazorstormUnicorn Nice to know I am not alone . Especially the minimalist aspect. I have approximately 100 pieces all in (not underwear/jewellery, but everything else) and majority of it gets worn. But there is so much churn within that. As soon as I relax I will find a gap (like your V-neck sweater) and the urge to plug it is so overwhelming.
What do you think the root of this behaviour is?

@JillPole123 I am going to think about this further but I think part of the root cause for me is the mixed narratives in my head.

I know my worth is not linked to what I look like. I know that I have other things I'd like to spend my money on not just clothes. I want to reduce my consumption all round. I consider it a bit vain to spend hours thinking about clothes.

But on the other hand, I need to know how to put together an outfit, I don't want to look like a tramp at a wedding. Wanting your outfit to flatter your shape is not the same as being vain.

So I don't think about clothes for ages, get ready for a date or meal out with friends and realise my wardrobe doesn't work well. Obsess about it as if I can fix it in a week, get bored. Ignore it again for a few months until I go to a wedding or something and the cycle restarts again

Yes, and this is why I can't really plan tomorrow's outfit in advance.
I tend to start with my feet and work up. But how could I possibly know what I'll want to wear next week, when I don't know what the weather will be, how that will feel if it hasn't been that weather for a while, exactly what I'll be doing and who with, whether I need to allow for not changing partway through the day ( eg if going out straight from work) and what mood I'll be in. Do I want to be noticeable or invisible?
Factor in things like being a different weight and shape from last year, my black jeans fading, and a hole appearing in my favourite jumper, and then losing an earring and getting a last minute blister can really wreak havoc!

I honestly thought this was just me!!!

So relieved to learn I'm not alone.

@DelphiniumBlue Yes yes yes yes!

Some of my problem stems from almost punishing myself for not losing much weight or achieving some other appearance related goal.

I won't buy new/quality things until i get to this weight, or sort my hair out or whatever.

Then i look at my same old stuff in the wardrobe and wonder why i'm stuck in a rut!

it's a vicious circle ...