How easy do you find clothes/shoe/accessories shopping?

[VerityPJohnson]

I feel like some people on here have to literally sit on their hands not to spend money, finding plenty to buy that they are happy with and having lots on their wish list, whereas others seem to struggle to find anything they like and would be horrified if their whole wardrobe went up in smoke.

What’s the difference? Better figures (not necessarily slim, maybe just more in proportion or perhaps long legs relative to height)? More imagination? Not so fussy, eg with fabrics? More money? Innate style and ability to put outfits together? Ability to interpret online product images better? More interest in fashion? More confidence? Feeling the cold less? Time? Access to shops? Instagram?

Which group are you in? Despite spending an inordinate amount of time buying things and thinking about outfits, I find it hard work and not easy to find things I love, though I get there in the end. Shoes are a particular nightmare, the idea of women loving shoe shopping is alien to me. I feel like I have a host of tricky body issues but doesn’t everyone so what is the difference?

Interesting question!

I’m on here all the time, berating other women for feebleness, timidity and lack of imagination in their attitudes to shopping for clothes. And those aren’t even as bad as the oppressively judgemental, ageist, “gosh, I would never spend more than 5 pence on a top!” martyrs.

I like clothes. I like browsing websites just as much as I used to enjoy trying on stuff in shops. I grew up with stylish parents and started reading Vogue at the start of my teens - so for me, getting dressed is the happy place.

I don’t mind making the odd mistake - which seems to be insupportable for some people. And ‘getting away with’ wearing something just isn’t in my vocabulary. I also don’t feel I may only be seen in sackcloth because I’m over 30. (By many decades!) “Am I too old to wear …?” is the ultimate red rag / bull situation for me.

Everyone is meant to wear clothes, not just the young, tall, slim, rich, whatever. I see no reason at all why we should not each be free to enjoy getting dressed for the brief time we get to do it.

“gosh, I would never spend more than 5 pence on a top!” martyrs.
Some of us have a budget to stick to. If someone handed me a few grand I would have no problem spending it.

Agree you about the shoes @VerityPJohnson I love looking at shoes but have awkward feet.

I'm short, I have tiny feet and I'm fussy about fabrics - if something doesn't feel right I can't wear it even if it looks nice. Also my lifestyle doesn't match my "dream look" - my perfect clothes would get ruined by my kids/puppy 😂

I cannot buy shoes. Only boots and trainers. I really find it difficult to know what looks good with certain things. I want to buy some shoes that I can wear with jeans, I get confused then just end up with more trainers. As for work, I found some smart pumps last year and stuck with them. Now I need some more.
Bags I’m fine with and clothes are just simple and easy. Shirts/smart tops and black trousers for work, jeans and casual tops for leisure.

I don't like seeing women being 'berated' over their choices. Why on earth should they be? I find the increasing confrontation and argumentativeness on this board a bit sad. Many of us like it as a break from all that elsewhere on this site.
I like clothes and fashion and think I have a good eye and a good degree of individualism without getting in to 'l'm mad, me' territory. However, my weight fluctuates quite a bit and I'm tall so it's not always easy to find things. I also find clothes from places I like increasingly expensive.

Maybe I've got a foot in both groups. I see lots of clothes that I love / like a lot but when I'm looking for something specific I'm very fussy and that's when I struggle.

I still much prefer real shops to online but they've gone and I don't see any way back for them.

I love thinking about clothes and am unapologetic about taking them seriously and I'm not averse to arguing about it. I also enjoy experimenting and I'm not too worried about making mistakes and care less and less about whether something is flattering. With every passing year I'm more excited by using clothes to express myself and as an outlet for my otherwise limited creativity, rather than as a means to show off my waist or whatever.

I've collected clothes all my life and I'd be seriously upset if I lost some of them because they're irreplaceable.

Some of us have a budget to stick to.

Most of us have a budget to stick to, surely? No one disputes that. But far too many people posting on the S&B board! act as if wanting more original design or better quality than the absolute basic is almost unspeakably depraved. Which makes me sad, because adorning our bodies is pretty fundamental to human beings …

I love clothes and love shopping. I don’t have children so can do what I like with my “fun money” without feeling any guilt about spending it on myself, which some of my friends with kids do.

I know my own shape/style well, so tend to be able to shop by eye quite easily. I follow a lot of different people on Instagram as well as a handful of influencers, plus read Grazia, Vogue, and Red for trends/ideas.

I think your first point is the case for me - when I’m slimmer most things look good and so I buy more. At the moment I’m heavier, hate how I look and clothes always look horrid so I don’t buy them.

I like shopping but find it hard as I am much fatter/rounder than I would like to be, so try to if not disguise, at least not emphasise certain parts of me. So fitted round the middle doesn't work any more, and short doesn't work any more. I'm also very fussy about fabric and neckline, and obviously the colour has to be right. I've always struggled with the feel of certain materials, and feel itchy very easily.
However, in real life shops I can pick out what will work quite quickly; it's harder online because you don't have the "feel". I can very easily walk past rows of pastel, frilly, blouson sleeved stuff, and can ignore crew or polo necks. That cuts out about 80% of what is currently in the shops, so that speeds things up!
I have sensitive, wide and deep feet and so buying shoes is also an issue online, unless it's a make I am familiar with. Again I can rule things out quite quickly, and amazed myself today by spotting a pair of low block heeled shoes for a wedding I've got coming up at about 20 paces - I was in there, tried them on , paid and out again in about 5 minutes! I suppose I was able to do that because I have been looking online for a few weeks so had considered the sort of thing that might work with my outfit, and I knew I hadn't seen anything that fitted the bill better.

I spend a lot of time looking at clothes online.

I love shopping for clothes, both instore and online. I know what I like and what suits me. I'm very tall so it's not always easy to find things that are the right length or proportions and in decent fabrics. I'm also very fussy and there are so many trends that I hate. My children are grown up and the mortgage is paid off, so I have more disposable income now and when I see something I like I buy it.

I do struggle with shoes. I have long, narrow, flattish feet with skinny ankles and it's hard to find shoes that fit really well.

I’m definitely one of those who has to sit on their hands. My figure (and budget) used to allow buying whatever I fancied, but that’s not the case these days. I have a huge interest in fashion and know what I like, and I know where to look for it.

I'm another one who loves clothes and shopping. I've gradually narrowed down the shops that I immediately head to so I can invariably go in and get what I want if I'm looking for something specific. I'm also lucky in that we've got some really nice independent shops in the villages near to me who sell interesting brands (French/Scandinavian) which suit me and are a bit different from the high street norm. Online there's two or three sites I bookmark for inexpensive dresses and accessories where I'm confident of sizing.

Shoes on the other hand are a nightmare and I keep finding myself heading to ballet pumps (which are no good for my feet at all) or trainers as I love the dress/trainer combo. Being in flats for the last couple of years at home has made me wary of heels and yet I've got loads of pairs. I really need to get them out and try walking round the house in them. I don't like shoe shopping online as one foot is slightly wider than the other due to a break, and sizing is so inconsistent I find myself ordering three pairs sometimes, so I prefer to go into a shop. I have to brace myself for shoe shopping.

I'm finding it increasingly difficult to but things I want/need/like.

I've put weight on, which does make it harder, but even more problematic is the fact that so much out there is just awful: horrible fabrics, unflattering high necklines, huge sleeves, awful colours. Even places that used to be reliable have declined so much (Whistles, Jigsaw I'm looking at you).

I've got more disposable income than I've ever had, but there's little I'm prepared to spend so much on, although I did spend a ridiculous amount on an All Saints dress last year. Most of the things I actually want don't seem to be being made by anyone!

I find it easy to buy boots (Clarks and Seasalt) and trainers, but struggle with shoes because I have narrow feet and also these days want shoes to be as comfortable as boots or trainers.

I'm finding it rather easy to spend money on bags and makeup recently though!

I love clothes but if I am shopping for something I need I can never find it but when I am just browsing with nothing in particular in mind - that’s when I find my treasures!

I find it inordinately easy! As my credit card would tell you…

I’m autistic. Clothes and shoe shopping is s nightmare and extremely stressful - the fit has to be right, the material/fabric just so (is it soft enough/feel non restrictive), are the seams ok - I have an extensive checklist to go through for every item to decided if it is ‘right’. Even once I’ve decided the item id on according to my checks I’ll agonise over whether I should buy it or not. I gave up clothes shopping with anyone other than my husband as he’s the only one who understands and can tolerate my process.

@Aspergirl77

I’m autistic. Clothes and shoe shopping is s nightmare and extremely stressful - the fit has to be right, the material/fabric just so (is it soft enough/feel non restrictive), are the seams ok - I have an extensive checklist to go through for every item to decided if it is ‘right’. Even once I’ve decided the item id on according to my checks I’ll agonise over whether I should buy it or not. I gave up clothes shopping with anyone other than my husband as he’s the only one who understands and can tolerate my process.

Is ok according to my checks - stupid fingers!

@Aspergirl77, mu daughter has ASD and ADHD. We still love clothes shopping together.

We're going tomorrow. We've booked her favourite restaurant for lunch. And we'll go to the shops she wants, we'll also walk away if we're not happy. Just go, abandon the haul.

Online pictures can be deceptive on the shape and fit, relevant information like length is rarely provided but shop layouts really piss me off. If i want to find a blouse, they are dotted around the store. I get they do it to maximise browsing and sales, but I don’t think many of us have the patience to sift through every rack these days.

I also just don’t like a lot of clothes today. I can’t seem to find much these days that isn’t either boxy/shapeless, frilly, puffy sleeves, unflattering collars and neck lines. Sometimes all of the above.

I don’t even stick to particular style, I go from smart casual, to grungy, to ‘ditsy’. Same with how clothes fit, sometimes I love a loose fit, sometimes tailored.

But at the same time, I can be picky about patterns and shapes. I sometimes like loose clothing, but I loathe ‘oversized’ clothes. I’m short and it just looks like I’m wearing my dad’s clothes. I struggle to find one without the other and I can’t always tell by looking whether it’s ‘oversized’ or not. I found a nice flannel shirt, liked the colour, the type of checkered pattern, bought it. The shoulders/sleeves are a really baggy design. It looks ridiculous with my short arms so it’s now my DIY shirt.

I see some really nice blouses with a good pattern, but they have the typical man-shirt pointy collar, which I hate.

I don’t know if I’m just really difficult but I used to love clothes shopping and found it really easy to pick stuff.

I had a chiffon, teal coloured ditsy floral blouse from Miss Selfridge over a decade ago and I still think about it. It had the perfect round neckline (ever so slightly dipped into a V), perfect length to wear with anything. Loose fitting but floaty and slightly cinched at the waist so it didn’t look like a potato sack. You just can’t find that style of clothing anymore.

I love shopping. I have found brands I like and sell things that appeal and are good quality. It helps that (a) I’ve got disposable income and (b) I’m able to my by size everywhere so I recognise I’m privileged.

buy my size everywhere

Online pictures can be deceptive on the shape and fit, relevant information like length is rarely provided

You’re looking at the wrong websites … As I may have said already, my online experience is completely different. I generally see several photos and a video; then a brief overview of size and fit under Details. Then I click the Sizing button and am shown the exact measurements of the garment and given more information on how it might fit me. Often theirs a tool to assess this as accurately as possible. And always the option of on-screen chat if I’m still not sure.

This is true of the majority of the fifty-odd online clothes shops I might look at in any month.

Do you perhaps never click the ‘Sizing’ button?

It’s still possible to make mistakes, of course. I’ve learnt that some brands just don’t fit me well in any size - so I avoid them. But I suspect, within five years or so it won’t be possible to buy the wrong size by accident. Virtual sizing will have us all covered.

Often there’s a tool …

Clothes shopping was much easier when I was a smaller size. Also lots of styles seem to be out of stock in my size online. Currently looking for s mid season coat that isn't £200.