Your observations on modern wedding guest attire please.

[TunaPaste]

Finally there's a wedding in the calender and I've released that I have no idea how a wedding will look in 2022.
So your observations and opinions please.
I'm in danger of panic buying and ending up looking like the mother of the bride from 'Four Weddings & a Funeral' heavily channeling the 1990s. (I'm 50, normally a bit scruffy Cos)

I also have two teen girls to channel in the 'right' direction, what does everyone wear these days?

And a husband? Do men wear formal suits, ties? He's the brother of the groom but not best man.

No fascinators or hats unless it's a super posh affair. Men wear suits but not extravagant ones. Women tend to wear colourful dresses and jackets depending on season. Teenagers, could wear whatever as long as not club wear etc.

Dd (21) has bought a dress from coast for a wedding and is wearing a hat apparently, I've not got any in the diary myself but would say from having to be at them for work (church) per Una dresses and a jacket are the common look for the circa 50 crowd, with phase 8/coast type brands for the wedding party. One wedding was black tie, very swish clothes but looked odd in a medieval church!

MN seems to sneer about dress codes on wedding invitations but they’re pretty standard IMO, did yours come with one?

My advice would be:
Men - no need to wear a formal suit, chinos, jacket and a shirt usually fine. Especially so if it’s abroad or an English summer wedding. If brother of groom a navy or grey suit probably would be nice
Women - nothing too short / flimsy / see through, nothing white
Accessories - THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT BIT - no, I repeat no, matching in 3s - ie shoes, bag and necklace in same colour. No pashmina. No fascinator. It’s not 2007 anymore.

S&B can suggest some stuff if you say what your shape / size / budget is

Judging by the last wedding i went too - - -where the average guest was late 20s / early 30s and from northern Europe —- it’s lounge suits with tie as minimum for men and women in decent frocks and both sexes looking well groomed. By this I mean clean and tidy no scruffy beards or tatty nails. I’m glad I had a hair cut before hand and decided last minute to do my nails too.

Well groomed, that's probably the key and I'll need to throw some time & money at that. I am work groomed, and among the smartest in my dress down field and the shock of letting the side down in wedding pictures.

Pashminas were such a wedding thing at one point, all in pastel colours....and I could have panicked and been talked into a totally not me shoes, bag, necklace to polish up a Cos dress.

The last close, close family wedding, was 2007, lovely sil and her three bridesmaids had been sprayed orange. The photographer seemed to really capture it.
I worn a straining at the buttons, pre pregnancy dress and my sling carried baby repelled all with a succession of ill timed poonumi nappies.
I'm hoping these 2022 photos will really capture my menopausal loss of energy. Honestly the in-laws photo wall is a real warning quite a transformation from fresh faced maiden.

Actually, Four Weddings might not be so bad for inspiration. I watched it again recently and I was struck by how good some of the wedding guests still looked. I would totally wear Fiona’s outfits, if I had a wedding to go to.

I would say the main issue is what kind of wedding it is: big or small, in a barn or St Paul’s Cathedral or a register office, etc.

We got married just a couple of years after Four Weddings came out. And did a whole string of friends weddings, crammed into a cheap, barely roadworthy Mini, arrive late, hungover, looked fantastic.
The pictures from that time are memory joggers rather than magazine shoots. The most dated thing is probably the men's ties.
And now we're the someone's parents at a wedding, we can stump up for a decent gift, not sure what happened to the bit in the middle.

Theres a lot of pressure on this wedding, two very lovely 50 something's making a massive commitment, kids on both sides. I think everything is being thrown at it. A bit Instagram barn, hipster catering, very 2022 tasteful. Big house, multiple days.
I feel exhausted just thinking about it. How about a soft cocoon coat, wooly tights and comfy sleepers, could that be a thing?

And now we're the someone's parents at a wedding, we can stump up for a decent gift, not sure what happened to the bit in the middle.

I'm feeling a bit traumatised too op, we have had a few years with hardly any weddings and all of a sudden we are the 'older generation' - the next wedding we are going to is my neice's, how did that happen?? I'm only 42. Also this means I don't know what to wear either.

Unless told otherwise the appropriate dress for weddings is smart day wear, within a range according to the formality of the occasion. You know the people. In summer it’s a dress or alternative, appropriate for the situation. A cathedral and fancy reception needs a jacket and possibly a hat, for a country church and lower key reception a dress and wedges are fine. That sort of thing. Within the range of appropriate smartness you can wear whatever makes you feel comfortable and is your personal style. Most of the stuff I’ve seen suggested her recently is not at all my cup of tea but someone posted a really nice whistles dress on a wedding guest thread earlier on. But that’s my taste. Others like frills.

Without knowing your size/shape/season for the wedding or budget it’s hard to advise specifically! I would go for a more luxe/expensive version of something you would usually buy?

www.wolfandbadger.com/uk/fathomless-dress/

www.temperleylondon.com/gb/artie-print-dress-black.html

www.theoutnet.com/en-gb/shop/product/emilia-wickstead/dresses/midi-dress/victoria-cutout-stretch-crepe-midi-dress/29419655932455886

Pyri must be going to very different weddings from me.

Definitely all men wear suits at the weddings I've been to and the photos I've seen of my dc and dn's friends weddings.
People my age (ie, parents / Aunts / Godparents or the generation getting married) do often wear hats. They definitely co-ordinate their accessories.
Again, my dc's generation also wear matching shoes / bag etc.

Agree with everything PinkTonic said

I got married last year in a register office with function room reception. No sit down meal, street food van. and the women wore dresses no hats except my mum wore a fascinator and she looked lovely. They wore jackets with their dresses. The guys all wore suits.

Ted Baker dress with a jacket over it for the colder parts?

Panic following

Men - no need to wear a formal suit, chinos, jacket and a shirt usually fine

Really? I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where men didn't wear suits or kilts.

I wore a nice dress but with (smart) trainers to the last wedding I went to. I have huge problems with my feet and these are the only shoes I can wear. I felt a bit worried about it beforehand but there were actually a few women who did the same so I wonder if this informality is a new thing.

Accessories - THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT BIT - no, I repeat no, matching in 3s - ie shoes, bag and necklace in same colour. No pashmina. No fascinator. It’s not 2007 anymore

The thing about pashminas is that many dresses which are perfectly fine for a wedding are not dresses which jackets look any good with- unless the jacket is tailored as part of the outfit.

Pashmina, shawl or whatever you want to call them will look better than a jacket.

As for no hats or fascinators or matching accessories- about 90% of Megan Harry's guests didn't get that memo.

The pictures from their wedding are great- obviously there's lots of OTT designer stuff but there's a good number of the Hobbs/ Whistles/ Jigsaw/ Boden pretty dress vibe too.

Obviously I doubt there were any actually from those shops but there were dresses where similar could be found on the high street e.g Carey Mulligan,s James Blunt's wife's and Eugenie's and Beatrice's.

Another wedding guest in same boat here - following with interest . I am same age as you also going to my first wedding in years and feeling a little bit deflated to be the older generation now ( it's friends DD getting married )

I have ordered a Nancy Mac jumpsuit and a dress from Wyse (£££) to choose between this weekend.

My challenge will be whether I can carry off flat shoes or need to brave heels for the day - the thought fills me with horror post pandemic .

Hobbs range is absolutely lovely - my worry was it's quite a large wedding party and I don't want to spot a dupe !!

I'm also surprised at this. Our wedding was last summer and all the men were kilts or suits, definitely no chinos. The woman were all in summer dresses (a few more fitted dresses but it was July) there were a couple of fascinators and my mum as MoB wore a large (but stylish) hatinator because as she rightly said, she's unlikely going to get another chance to go all out.

@Lyricallie

I'm also surprised at this. Our wedding was last summer and all the men were kilts or suits, definitely no chinos. The woman were all in summer dresses (a few more fitted dresses but it was July) there were a couple of fascinators and my mum as MoB wore a large (but stylish) hatinator because as she rightly said, she's unlikely going to get another chance to go all out.

I think this is lovely and it's totally appropriate for a MoB to wear a hat ! I miss the opportunities to get truly dressed up and I hope my friend who is MoB will wear one and not feel she shouldn't. My DMum is annoyed with me for not wearing one as she would love the opportunity. I feel a bit like I am playing at dressing up as it has become so unusual

Agree with well groomed, and elegant. Ultimately it’s just showing a bit of respect by making an effort even if everyone’s baseline is different. The world has got (even) more casual and I think this even applies to weddings.

Less is usually more so a statement dress and picking out colours but coordinating rather than matched - too contrived and obvious.

Looking comfortable in something tends to give you a more insouciant air than something potentially smarter but which needs adjusting all the time or you feel a bit self-conscious in. Same with painful shoes. Something you can dance in. What is the point if you have to take them off or change into flip flops.

Just making sure you’re classy, so no fake tan streaks or old bra straps showing or incorrect toned or baggy nude tights (if you must wear these). Or messy mascara and lipstick on your teeth.

Judicious use of jewellery. Fascinators seem out of fashion to me but probably depends, as with many things, on age as a younger person looks a bit quirky/retro whereas an older person looks like they missed a memo.

Being dressed appropriately for the weather/season.

Bright colours seem more modern and fresh to me than pastels, even if lilac is everywhere.

Well groomed and a simple well cut dress is my go to at 40+. So I spring for blow dry / nails a few days before and wear one of my old faithfuls, something like a navy shift or floral dress, flat shoes (I’m tall and find them much more relaxed than heels), posh clutch.