Help me un-f*ck my hair

[imamumgetmeoutofhere]

Just that really. Nearly 20 years of almost daily blow drying and straightening my hair has taken its toll.

My hair is so split at the ends, dry, snaps easily and a lot darker at the roots than the ends. It also somehow seems to get so oily too, so much so that I have^^ to wash it every day otherwise it's an oil slick.

I have a suspicion it may be wavy / curly as when we used to go abroad all I'd do is wash it, scrunch mousse in and let it air dry and I'd have fabulous mermaid hair. Sadly this doesn't happen at home, probably due to how hard our water is. All it does at home is frizz if I air dry.

Anyway, please help me rescue my hair. Any tips gratefully received.

Thank you

Get a water softener- it will change your hair completely.

Have you tried curly girl method?

@substrate

Get a water softener- it will change your hair completely.

Have you tried curly girl method?

Never heard of a water softener - off for a Google.

I kind of tried the curly girl method but gave up after a week, my hair was so frizzy and to me the frizz made me look a mess. Probably wasn't but after years of straight hair it just looked it

A really good hair cut and olaplex. And hair skin nails supplements

Ditching shampoo for co-washing (with or without all the extra Curly Girl faff) would probably do wonders if your hair's thick. But you're in for an unpleasant transition period while you coax all that oil from your scalp down the lengths of your hair where it should be!

Once you've restored balance to your scalp and hair, you'll probably find it a lot less frizzy and you won't feel the need to heat style it so often - even if you do you'd only be wetting it once or twice a week instead of every day.

I'd use a good leave in conditioner, at least on the ends

I’d start with a really good trim as getting rid of the ends will make it feel healthier.
Then look at products that work for you - I like Olaplex 3 and Philip Kingsley Elasticizer for keeping my hair in good condition and the Pureology shampoo and conditioner but worth trying different products to find what works.
I also live in a hard water area and find my hair is better in soft water so agree with PPs you could look at a water softener.

A good cut then use olaplex hair smoother and the bonding oil.

Wash your hair twice a week. I have oily hair but it can be trained. Washing it every day will make it oily at the root and dry on the ends.

Go to every other day, put it up or use try shampoo on day 2 then gradually build up to every 3rd day.

I don't use high street shampoo and conditioner, get your hairdresser to recommend then use that (pricey but mine lasts a few months because of how little I wash it).

When it's damp I use the olaplex smoother through the ends, dry then style and use the oil through the ends on dry hair.

My hair always goes beautifully after I've been swimming in the sea. For years I assumed it was the salt, but was never able to replicate it at home.

Saw a new hairdresser last year who told me not to dry my hair AT ALL. After washing it, leave it dripping wet and apply mousse/curl creme/gel whatever. Squelch it into your sopping wet hair then leave it to dry.

Turns out it's the not drying it (like at the beach) that helps the curl.

When your hair has dried, scrunch it with your hands gently if it's still a bit crunchy (if you've used gel etc). The curls will hold and there'll be no frizz.

Honestly please try this method - it's a real game-changer.

Last week I tried washing, towel- drying, then just leaving it - a frizzy mess again.

I remember being in your shoes OP. I could not go a day without washing, no way. Oily every day.

Now I’m no more than twice a week. I definitely did do through a period of training my hair. I survived by braiding my hair and using hairspray/dry shampoo, until I managed to break through.

I also thought I had naturally straight hair because I never allowed it to air dry. I discovered in lockdown I did indeed have wavey hair 🤣 like a PP advised, leave it, pop some product in and scrunch it from the bottom up.