Anyone else just HATE clothes shopping?!

[MyMaiTai]

Hi,

Already have this running in Chat, but hoping a wise and stylish MNetter might be along to help.

Just this really. I just bloody hate it! Always come back depressed with a huge downer on myself.

I've never really enjoyed it tbh - have an awkward inverted triangle shape, but now I'm approaching late 30's, it's virtually impossible for me to findanythingthat suits me!

I spent almost 4 hours in town yesterday and really threw myself into it. I deliberately tried clothes on that were put my comfort zone andtriedto stay away from my usual skinnies, black tops etc.

Everything just looked shitI'm not overweight, I'm a size 10, with a very slight muffin top I suppose, as my shape means I'm high waisted and clothes just aren't designed for me at all! I used to like my legs and could get away with minis, but now I feel a bit mutton dressed as lamb, although I'm not sure I'm not being hard on myself there.

Having a day and night out in London in a few weeks and going to a very swanky restaurant and so I really wanted to find a gorgeous outfit. Absolute fail.

Does anyone relate? Or maybe even have some advice?

FYI, I bought a black top and a pair of converse

Yes. 6 feet tall and size 43 shoe. Nothing on the high street at all. And what is there, is shit.

(You do know it’s poor form to start the same thread in two places?)

I can’t relate as 99% of my clothes (and other!) shopping is done online. As rents and costs rise, morale drops, pandemics disrupt and the High St becomes a shabby desert, it just doesn’t make sense to expect the level of quality and service we once looked for. Almost all the best new clothing brands have a stronger presence online.

It used to be that fitting might be hit and miss - but so many online stores offer quite intricate and detailed fitting tools, or at the very least accurate garment measurements now. I rarely have to send anything back, and that would probably be from a brand I haven’t tried before.

Why not explore? Ignore the websites of shops you’ve already found unsatisfactory. I bet there are fifty new places you could find today that would have something you like that fits you.

Where do you usually shop?

@AuntieMarys

Yes. 6 feet tall and size 43 shoe. Nothing on the high street at all. And what is there, is shit.

6'3 and a 43 or 44. I feel you.

No. I love clothes shopping (too much)
I don't like clothes shopping online as I just don't have time to keep queuing up at the post office to return stuff, and I like the instant gratification of seeing something I like, trying on a couple of sizes and buying it there and then to keep.

Shape-wise I am a pear so I understand the issues about fit, but I think there are more clothes around for us pears than there used to be. There are websites where you can input your shape and dimensions and then you get advice as to what styles suit you.

The other thing I do is window shop online then go shopping so I know what I am looking for.

I hate it. I have put on weight and in my head I am a dress size or two smaller than reality. I'm trying to buy only essential clothes until I've lost some of the weight as looking at myself in shop mirrors is just depressing.

I used to feel pretty disillusioned about clothes shopping. Never very sure what suited me etc and would panic buy things and then find nothing matched etc. What changed it for me (and I promise I'm not affiliated in any way, just evangelical about the way it has changed my approach to clothes shopping) is having my colours done. Once I knew my season and the colours/shades that suited me and also what to avoid it made clothes shopping much easier. I still find it harder online as it can be difficult to replicate colours on line but it does mean I can filter things easily. As a result I would say I'm much more choosy over what I buy and if something isn't right I don't buy it. It means I only embrace the trends that work for me - so absolutely no to mustard yellow but yes to the current trend for lilac. It's not cheap but I think it is worth the investment. I used a company called House of Colour which gets recommended a lot on here.

I should add they also offer style sessions too which are designed to work out what your style is, but I haven't done that with them yet as I think I am quite good at knowing the shapes that work for me.

I love clothes but hate shopping in actual high street shops. Too much choice, unless you have a good idea of what you want it's overwhelming and I find myself just grabbing random things to try on rather than focusing on an entire outfit.
I always feel frustrated and never really enjoy it and often come away feeling that nothing suits me or looks right.
What I prefer is just meandering around smaller boutiques where there is less choice but better quality and often items that work well together are placed next to or with each other.
I like browsing online and once I have an idea of what I want I find it easier to buy online and return if necessary (but I know that's not for everyone).
My advice would be to spend some time thinking about what you really need in your wardrobe, curating some outfits and maybe look on instagram for inspiration of styles you like. Also consider a style analysis if you really aren't sure what body-shape you have as it does make all difference once you understand what works for you.

It's so depressing. I occasionally find something in Cos and I have a couple of favourite tops from Mint Velvet from about 7 years ago.
Thank god I don't go to formal occasions as you have to start with shoes and work round that.

Yes to having your colours done. As a jewel winter I rarely but clothes in late summer/autumn because none of the colours suit me.

@Gruach, is it really? I've never heard this and can't for the life of me think why that would be.

Anyway, I was actually getting into online shopping, but find it too risky now, as 9 times out of 10, they look entirely different in the flesh..or on the flesh I should say. I just wish that high street shops had more choice, but understand that this way of shopping is sadly, slowly dying out.

I've started shopping at higher end brand shops now, as quality really does make a difference, but even then, a good find for me is such a rarity. I really like AllSaints and Ted Baker (hate their stupid sizing system though!)

@Normandy144, yes I am thinking about this actually. Crazy expensive though!

I love it but I do find it increasingly frustrating, especially as I like real shops and find online shopping a pretty joyless experience, even when it works out.

But I love clothes and I like thinking about all this stuff so I keep at it. If I didn't, if I really hated the whole business, I just wouldn't bother. I'd adopt a uniform like jeans and a top, or something similar that would take me to most places. I wouldn't worry about whether or not it suited me as long as I was decent, and and then I'd stop thinking about it and find something else to do with my time.

Inverted triangle here too, it's a tricky one to dress.

High street shopping is genuinely getting harder. The quality isn't there, and everything is very samey. It's also incredibly baggy and not always flattering.

I also think it is harder as you get a bit older (not that you are old), you need better cuts, better quality. I prefer actual shopping irl but don't do it much these days. I'm on a low spend 2022 for environmental reasons but doesn't feel like a chore.

I take some inspiration from TV, what people are wearing who have been professionally styled, even if it's to say no that's not for me. Many older ladies look great with that sort of help.

But ultimately it's a lot of trial and error and a bit of luck and you do kind of need to be interested in the first place.

@MyMaiTai yes it is expensive but I don't know anyone who regrets having it done. I viewed it at the time as an investment and I think it has personally ensured I don't make mistakes any more. In the long run I think it will save me money. I might spend more on an item like a coat but I know it's going to suit me and last me for longer. I think they do gift vouchers so if people are looking to buy you a birthday or Christmas gift that could go towards it.

I hear you OP.

The thing is I've changed too. All the stuff in my wardrobe seems dated, and the shops haven't caught up.

I went shopping recently and was refreshingly surprised with Ted Baker. I just wish it wasn't so obvious though.

If you want nice you will have to spend more. Look at Maje, Zadig Voltaire etc. everything else is tat.

Marks and Spencer's new collection is lovely but all size 10 is sold out.

Nah, I love it. Especially if I have a whole day and can stop for lunch. I don't go with anyone else as I don't need other people's opinions really and I also don't like giving mine on their outfits.

I'm not super body confident. I'm a chubby, but tall and limby, size 16. So don't think it's that I'm gorgeous and everything looks amazing

I'm finding that what suits me is changing as I get older and I am a little lost with what colours I should go for. When I was younger my hair was quite dark and my skin pale, but as time has gone on my hair has gone mousy brown and my skin has gone a few shades darker. I'm not sure the jewel colours suit me any more but beige just washes me out.

I've seen personal shoppers be recommended on these boards. Not the kind you pay for, I mean just the in-house ones somewhere like John Lewis. I half intend to do that, but am held back by the worry that they'll suggest a load of things I don't like, or bruise my delicate ego!

completely agree OP, I wish often that there was just one shop that specialises in petite hourglasses who are jewelled winters!

I frequently find lovely things but they are too long/don't have the right neckline/don't come in my colours and it wears my brain out.

@Notthatapple, do you actually have to make an appointment at John Lewis or can you just pop in?

I don't know tbh, if you do it please report back and let us know how it goes!

Another 6fter here with 43/44 shoe. Nothing stocked in the shops for us it’s shite.

John Lewis free style session definitely recommended. You have to book, which you can do online via their website.

Have got tops and dresses and skirts (but no shoes or trousers) through JL if other tallies are interested. Next tall online are good but you have to be prepared to go online only which means some returns.

I dislike shopping in stores but am fond of online shopping for bargains and unusual pieces (just bought the most beautiful coat from Net a Porter , which was 900 down to 180; still trying to work out how they sold it so cheaply). Online is great as you have access to incredible designers from all over the world. I try stuff in shops but will buy online.

I’m with you OP, it’s so much effort for so little return.

If you do find something you like they never have the right size. Online shopping is a bit easier in that respect at least.

@Notthatapple, will do! Thinking about going next weekend. I'm worried I'll just end up feeling even worse about myself though