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Original poster

Help! Need to look professional, turning 40 and have no idea any more!

39 replies

Rittersport · 19/02/2022 23:47

Probably asking the impossible but here goes.
Professional job which I occasionally have to go to in person, no longer a spring chicken so can't get away with what the young people are wearing 😄
Put on a bit of weight during lockdown, size 14 ish.
Don't want to look bland, do like a print, design or bit of colour.
No one wears suits or day dresses anymore...!!! What am I supposed to wear to the office to look professional and a bit unique but be comfy.

I currently look like your aunt, and I don't think this is a good thing.
Any suggestions?? Pretty please!

OP posts:
Original poster
Rittersport · 20/02/2022 08:14

Bump

OP posts:
Gruach · 20/02/2022 08:19

I’m an aunt, and considerably older than you - and I look fantastic, thank you.

But here I am, bumping your thread.

Can’t really help because my occupation doesn’t involve offices.

#altruisticauntsunited

badkitty · 20/02/2022 08:21

Similar to you, in the office 2 days a week, professional, can't get into my smart, pre-lockdown clothes. I've found shirt dresses to be good - belted waist so give you some shape but skim over the tummy/hips! Easy to throw on in the morning and still look smart.

I agree no one wears suits anymore but most of the women in my office will make some sort of effort either with dresses or tailored trousers and top. I think the latter needs you to be quite slim to pull off, or maybe have really expensive trousers - I really struggle to find trousers which look good but I have a weird shape and short legs!

Nomad916 · 20/02/2022 08:28

Midi dresses

FennecShandDoesEverything · 20/02/2022 08:29

What's your budget?

Purplewithred · 20/02/2022 08:29

in the Olden Days when we went into the office I had two good pairs of trousers - one black, one blue - some naice tops and a couple of good long jacket/cardigan things because I’m always cold. Happy hunting grounds were Hobbs, Cos, The White Company for tops; M&S trousers were fine. Makeup and proper blow dried haircut essential to look groomed. I may have looked like your aunt though, I’m probably old enough to be your great aunt.

Thank god we’ve moved to pretty permanent WFH where I can just throw a white shirt over my PJs/running kit/painting t-shirt and nobody sees my ancient joggers.

Nutellanjam · 20/02/2022 08:30

Nice hair, no roots! Maybe smart trainers, black straight leg trousers ?

IdblowJonSnow · 20/02/2022 08:37

Lose the aunt chat op!

IdblowJonSnow · 20/02/2022 08:37

I think John Lewis still do free consultations.

VorpalSword · 20/02/2022 08:39

Same age and size as you and a teacher at an independent school so have to be professional smart,

My go to is smart dresses, Hobbs often have some good ones, in the sale they are still pricy but look good and last. Their knitted dresses are a good balance of well fitting, flattering (at least to me) smart but not too smart.

Then I also have some seasalt and white stuff dresses to add a bit of pattern and colour. Sometimes find stuff other times nothing that is formal enough.

Then a Joules Jersey blazer, good balance between looking smart but not suited and booted. I’ve had mine 4years and only just shoeing wear in the elbows. www.joules.com/Women/Clothing/Agatha/Jersey-Blazer?size=10&id=213885|NAVY|10

Finally, my top tip to not feel frumpy is fun shoes. embassylondon.co.uk/collections/shoes/womens Again look for the sales. Comfy and so far lasting well.

VorpalSword · 20/02/2022 08:42

@Nutellanjam

Nice hair, no roots! Maybe smart trainers, black straight leg trousers ?
Easiest way to no roots - embrace the grey! Life is sooooo much easier.
Monty27 · 20/02/2022 08:45

Definitely cutting edge haircut in pristine condition. Understated make up giving you a fresh look. Clothes well cut and immaculate. Not overthought nor necessarily expensive. Just look fresh every day and smile with confidence in yourself. Good luck 💐

wingscrow · 20/02/2022 08:52

Well, no one has mentioned the obvious: lose the weight you have put on...

Clothes can help but you need to keep yourself in shape if you want to feel better about how you look.

Also quit the jibes about 'your aunt'...

I think word 'professional' sounds a bit silly these days by the way. Everyone who is employed as to be 'professional' in one way or another.

PermanentTemporary · 20/02/2022 08:53

You need to go to actual shops and wander around and look.at how they put things together. It's taking me years to get used to even the look of high necklines. I'll never wear them, I'm a decade older than you and too bulky but at least I can see how they're supposed to work.

Unfortunately shops are becoming an endangered species but try &Other Stories and John Lewis. I like this blouse (not with jeans obv) but this green is everywhere at the moment. There's a lot of block colour too but I think that cam be a bit overwhelming in an ordinary office.
blouse

PermanentTemporary · 20/02/2022 08:54

God, everyone's allowed to buy clothes even if they are a size 14. A good way to feel better anyway.

LimeSupper · 20/02/2022 09:01

I like midi dresses with a blazer or a midi skirt, tshirt/ blouse and a blazer.

TheMoth · 20/02/2022 09:03

I work in a school which has a fairly wide spectrum of dressers.

My older girls like this outfit:
Chelsea boots, above the knee check skirt, oversize jumper.
My colleagues like:
Wide leg trousers, block heel and fitted jumper.
I'm quite partial to a brogue and an ankle skimming trouser. And a blazer.

Lot of younger staff go for a pleated skirt, low boot and jumper combo.

SilverGlitterBaubles · 20/02/2022 09:12

I have been on a search for smartish work wear OP and I am also finding it really difficult. I have tried so many places and it's all the same from M&S, Next, Hobbs, Whistles, French Connection. All the dresses seem to be long floral floaty numbers, maybe ok in summer but not good in this weather and not always appropriate. Smart trousers are all an odd shape with elasticated waist bands that look awful with a shirt tucked in, I may have put it on a few lockdown pounds but I'm not ready for this yet.

Is it perhaps with WFH that shops have just given up on the idea that people need to dress up for work and assume we are all in loungewear all day.

Lipsandlashes · 20/02/2022 09:52

@wingscrow

Well, no one has mentioned the obvious: lose the weight you have put on...

Clothes can help but you need to keep yourself in shape if you want to feel better about how you look.

Also quit the jibes about 'your aunt'...

I think word 'professional' sounds a bit silly these days by the way. Everyone who is employed as to be 'professional' in one way or another.

Bloody hell. That was unnecessarily bitchy for a Sunday morning. Still I hope it made you feel better about yourself.
Original poster
Rittersport · 20/02/2022 10:18

Ha ha thanks everyone! Sorry for the aunt talk it was meant tongue in cheek. I am an aunt! I just realised I have gradually transitioned from cool aunt to frumpy aunt over the last ten years without really noticing Blush so I need all you still cool aunts to tell me how you did it! It might have to do with too many cardies?
Love the comment about lose weight Grin I may lose weight now I'm able to run more again but it will be incidental and definitely not something I'll be trying to do to look good and the office Grin
Thanks for the tips. A few mentioned Hobbes and I did have a couple of their dresses in the 'old days' so I will try them again. I love the idea of the Jersey blazer. I would love a really good blazer in place of the suit jackets I used to wear.

I already have beautiful embassy London brogues!! Thank you to the person who mentioned them, and I also have decent blow dried hair, no roots, minimalist make up. So just need to sort neck to ankles Grin thanks for the tips!

OP posts:
Original poster
Rittersport · 20/02/2022 10:32

I'm quite taken with this one? Is it too short? Too dressy? Too smart?
Some people in my office will be wearing jeans and trainers and somehow manage to look smart but this is not a skill I have developed yet!! Grin

www.hobbs.com/product/anya-jacquard-dress/0220-5528-9025L00-LIGHT-NAVY.html#cgid=clothing-dresses&is=true&sz=60&start=0&isSecondPage=false&pid=0220-5528-9025L00-LIGHT-NAVY&pos=53

OP posts:
Gruach · 20/02/2022 10:49

People still shop at Hobbs?

I recall my DM used to buy clothes there until about a decade ago. She finds it too old fashioned now. She’s 90.

SilverGlitterBaubles · 20/02/2022 10:56

@badkitty I do like this style and there are so many like this out there particularly the midi style ones. I just cannot get my head around what shoes or coat I would wear commuting without looking drowned by fabric.

badkitty · 20/02/2022 10:56

Helpfully that dress seems to be out of stock in all but size 8 (it is on my wish list) but that is the kind of style I think cna work well, for what it's worth (not holding myself up as any sort of style guru though!).