I have barely any money, but need to look better!

[Macademiamum]

A couple of years of lockdowns, health struggles, depression and low self esteem, I have put on a lot of weight so none of my old clothes fit and not been shopping really so wearing a combination of massive baggy tops (from pregnancy), supermarket legging and old cardigans. I need to look better because it's having an impact on my socially and professionally and as a parent. I am losing weight (slowly but surely) and have started wearing makeup again. But I basically need a whole new wardrobe, on a lemonade budget but that looks smart and put together.

Good hair & skin & you are half way there.

Just need to try on some outfits - have an hour trying different combinations of existing clothes on. There will be things languishing in your wardrobe that you could wear but instead you grab the closest / easiest thing to wear. Then you will have some outfits in mind to put on.

It can be a surprise that the outside doesn't reflect how we feel. I sometimes glimpse myself in a shop window and think where did that middle aged woman come from as it's not how I see myself !!

Have you tried mixing and matching everything you have to see if you can up with a few half decent outfits? Buying even one bottom half and a couple of tops would make you feel better.

I literally live in these trousers. So comfortable but smart enough for work. I wear them with a long sleeved t-shirt (Uniqlo heattech) and plain jumper most of the time.

I think as you’re feeling a bit lost, it might be good for you to have a “uniform” - so once you find something that works, get a few of them and wear them on repeat. Boring but practical.

www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/product/women-ultra-stretch-high-rise-leggings-trousers-445292.html

I have hardly anything at all that fits.
If I'm being brutally honest there is probably not one thing in my wardrobe that fits me properly (except socks)

I have stuff for being bigger, and stuff for being smaller. But nothing that really fits. The baggy stuff is actually worse I think.

Can you sew and try and take some of it in a bit, could you cut anything up or add a belt?

@CakeAmbushAlert

That's it 100%
I don't know that person, & yet it's me
I know when I speak on the phone, for example, people expect me to be a certain way and when they meet me I don't match that at all.
I feel the same way about who I am inside and outside. Like there's a mismatch.

@JemimaTiggywinkle
Thanks 😊 I think you're right I do need a uniform. If I could find something that suited me I would much rather just wear variations of that every day. I don't want to be thinking about it! I want to look like competent and together, whilst not giving my clothes a second though. It's just getting there!

On YouTube there's Justine Leconte- she's great , lots of information.
Also Marie-Anne Lecoeur- both ladies french but both amazing.

I can sew so might be worth experimenting a little. I don't have a working machine and am not great with one anyway, but can have a go and see what I can do by hand

Really you only need one pair (black?) trousers, two plain t-shirts and a jacket/blazer. That could be smart enough for work and casual enough for outside work and would make you feel better whilst you work out what else you need or lose the extra weight you want to lose. Is that something you cos start with?

*could not cos

Dorothy Perkins has a good sale, I got some lovely boots for £10. I always feel more together with a nice coat & boots & scarf. Also Debenhams online loads of stuff in sale.
www.dorothyperkins.com/AQQ05263-104-350.html

Totally try Ebay/Vinted/Depop, I get most of my clothes on there now and baulk at the idea of paying full price for something new now!

You have to know what you are looking for, and will probably get a few misses but the bargains make up for it, you get so much more for your money and it's much more sustainable too. I find it really fun as well!

@Whybirdwhy

Yes I actually do have plain T-shirt's, long and short sleeved I purchased recently, black trousers that fit and a blazer I could mend (it's a loose style though and I think I might need something more fitted).
I probably need some ankle boots.

Weirdly my feet have got fat so none of my shoes fit which I didn't realise could happen! I thought I would always at least have my footwear!

I'm feeling more inspired and less down on myself now, thanks everyone. I have no idea how to do Depop or vinted, so will have a proper look tomorrow. Kids home due to storm today so will be working once they are in bed 🙄

Might find I have some bits to sell on there too. My kids have things with tags in still whilst I'm scrabbling around for change for work clothes. I swore I would never be the parent to put myself last but somehow it just happens anyway

Sounds like if you buy a fitted blazer on Vinted or ebay you’ll have yourself a new smart look.

Yes it does doesn't it @CrimbleCrumble1 thanks!

I'm like a kid looking in the fridge who can't find anything to eat. Ive got tunnel vision and can't see what's there anymore. I just want to Chuck the lot and start again, but as I don't have that luxury I will have to work from where I am.

Loose less constructed blazers are back in fashion now I think?What mending does it need ?You can jazz up the plain things with a scarf and jewellery you already have

Hello, would you be willing to share your general shape and colouring (eye, hair, skin) on here? Anyone who's had their own styling done can then chip in with ideas. What I'd say is that one top that is the perfect shape and colouring for you is worth a wardrobe full of expensive items. It could be from Primark but if you know what you're looking for it will look expensive on you because it suits you perfectly.

One of the hems has come undone.
I have had a look at a few places, think my first step is probably to get some ankle boots with a bit of heel they make me feel a little bit more like me.

Flats are much better for my back, but a bit of heel makes me feel more put tougher.

I'm short and an apple shape and now quite overweight too. My boobs used to be massive, now they are like deflated balloons. My legs are ok, I just have a gut basically. I look like I'm pregnant but it's been a few years now. I don't have diastasis recti but I do have endometriosis

Good luck op
Do you know what colours etc suit you ?

@Macademiamum I feel you may have the same wardrobe as me if you have a birthday coming up, could you ask for vouchers for M&S/ H&M/ Primark so you actually treat yourself rather than buying for your DC? (Ignore if it's not your birthday for months, of course!)

Do lurk on some of the bargain hunting threads on here too as people post bargains they've found, should give you some ideas.

There are lots of online quizzes you can do to check which colours you can suit you most and the booborbust bra size checker is really useful.

On the whole though, I'm much the same as you, no idea what to wear now my DC are a bit older and I can (in theory!) wear smarter clothes!

I really do need to arrange a whole day in the nearest big town/city on my own and just go shopping. I can't remember the last time I did that. Since covid I've just been grabbing pants or pyjamas whilst at the supermarket, mostly not even that.

I think maybe if I do bag up most of what doesn't fit I might at least be able to see what I'm working with.

@Macademiamum

One of the hems has come undone. I have had a look at a few places, think my first step is probably to get some ankle boots with a bit of heel they make me feel a little bit more like me.

Flats are much better for my back, but a bit of heel makes me feel more put tougher.

I'm short and an apple shape and now quite overweight too. My boobs used to be massive, now they are like deflated balloons. My legs are ok, I just have a gut basically. I look like I'm pregnant but it's been a few years now. I don't have diastasis recti but I do have endometriosis

Oh hey! Are you describing me??? 🤣🤣

It's really hard isn't it?

What's the main you want to focus on?

What size are you?
I’m a massive primark fan basically most of my wardrobe is from there and I’m not a bit sorry. Vinted and Facebook marketplace are also great for bargains.

You could go and have a try on of all sorts of different shapes and styles to work out what suits you but do it with your hair and makeup done so you feel good when you try on.
I would start with some real basics

• A comfy but smart ish looking pair of black trousers (I like either wide leg or jogger style in a stretch material)
• a pair of jeans or jeggings
• T-shirts in a suitable shape - black, white, a flattering colour and a Breton stripe
• a blazer
• a white or denim shirt you can wear over your T-shirts
• a good coat. A good coat hides everything. Look in charity shops, Vinted, eBay etc for a bargain.
• a dress that can double as a skirt when layered
• lipstick!

That’ll get you started I think we’ve all had times like this, you’ll feel better soon

OK. What's your budget? If you let us know how much you can throw at this (can you afford £100 or is £40-60 more realistic), then maybe we can have a go at spending it for you.

Personally, I would start by getting a really good haircut that makes you feel great, taking a multivitamin every day and drinking more water. I also do some hand weights in the morning...I am slightly overweight and have identified my arms as one area that I want to sort out. So maybe incorporate 10-15 minutes of exercise if you can. Every little helps.