Facial Scar

[scarface12]

I have a facial scar, really noticeable, atrophic (indented), right in the centre of my forehead between my eyebrows. Gained as a teenager after a silly night out, so the scar has never improved and stretched with age.

It really gets me down. I know nobody is perfect, but I think its the first thing someone would notice about me, because of where it is and its just so obvious in most lights. I'm now mid thirties, and I thought I would be at the point of accepting it, but it still bothers me and I believe i'm unattractive because of it.

I always have a fringe to hide it, but the fringe doesn't suit me and never has. I just want to have nice grown out hair! And nice skin but the scar makes me feel like my skin isn't good enough.

I have spent about £1500 over the years on treatments to try and make it less noticeable, different products, botox, revision, dermastamp, it just looks as bad as it always has. It isn't red, it is white, and basically a big dent in my forehead.

Can anybody relate to this and how have you come to accept that you won't ever look as nice as you could have? Any tips to making them less noticeable? Hair styles?

I havent got a scar but a badly deformed nose from a mis diagnosed broken nose (as in they said it wasn't broken) I cant afford to do anything about it but I have learned to live with it on the basis that if people can't see past it then that is a problem with them and not me and also there are people with a lot worse issues than me. The problem is you can't really force yourself to have that kind of outlook I think you either have it or you don't.

I've got a scar in the bridge of my nose quite high up almost between my eyebrows. It happened at work about 20 years now . It's a dent down to the bone about the size of a 5 p . I don't really think about it as it part of me . I've also got a scar in between my collar bone from being in a coma and various other scars on my neck due to medical procedures at the time of the coma. They are noticeable as I have an olive skin tone . But to be honest op I couldn't give a shit what people think and I never have . I can completely understand why you are struggling with your scar as everyone is different however if you think people view you in a certain way because of it then fuck them . You are beautiful accept that in time with maybe some counselling to help you look at it all from a different perspective.

Thank you, I think if I could cover it easily with my hair and suited a fringe, I probably wouldn't care so much! But I envy people with nice smooth skin because with my scar I can't have that.

I find myself feeling uncomfortable just by people looking at my face! And I imagine them thinking 'What a shame for her'! :(

I have a big raised scar under my nose and flatter scars on my forehead (& also a raised scar that extends from my shoulder to just past my elbow) all from an accident 6 years ago. I can’t cover the scar under my nose & it distorts my nostril a bit. To be honest although I was a bit self conscious at first I don’t think about it at all now & don’t really see it when I look in the mirror any more. Occasionally I will notice someone looking at my face rather intently & it takes me a split second to realise they are looking at my scar - my first thought before I realise is usually to think I must have got something stuck in my teeth or similar

I think in my case my focus was on my arm injury which was quite severe & took months to heal, and so I didn’t pay much attention to my face which seemed minor in comparison. By the time my arm healed I was used to the scars on my face IYSWIM.

I’m also older than you and maybe a bit more accepting of my imperfections. I think it must be harder to get a facial scar when you are a teenager when most of us are very concerned with how we look & with fitting in. Although you are in your thirties now maybe some of those intense teenage feelings have affected the way you feel about your scar today.

I am absolutely positive that if other people notice your scar they will not be concerned about it, or think you are unattractive because if it. If anything they might be mildly curious as to how you got it, but that’s it. Most of us have a few dinks and scrapes by the time we get to our thirties so my advice would be try not to worry about it if you can.

@scarface12 I have a large scar running from my nostril down across my philtrum and through my lip. I also have a large scar on the side of my nose and now I’m older I notice one that has appeared above my eyebrow which must have made itself known as my skin has aged though it’s small. I have multiple scars on my scalp I believe. My scars happened when an old fashioned mirror fell on me when I was two. I was extremely lucky to keep my sight.

However, there’s no hiding the scar on my face and it’s in a notoriously difficult place to repair. It’s distorted the shape of my mouth. It’s a bit cartoon-like; a pitted line with lines running across it. I remember the accident but not life before my scars. Sometimes I look at it and think that objectively it has ruined my looks but I don’t feel emotional about it. Mostly I just accept it as part of my story, and a bit of me quite likes it. A few people think it’s a cleft lip repair but not many people mention it. I have had these scars for 53 years now and they can’t be improved.

In some ways I think it’s worse for you if there’s a chance you can cover it with a fringe. If there was nothing you could do you would have perhaps been further a long the road of accepting it as part of your story. I remember when I went to a dermatologist for some treatment and when he saw my scar he offered me silicon cream and talked about different ways they could perhaps improve it. I was glad I’d adjusted before there were loads of solutions thrown at me and I found myself saying “no, I don’t want to mess around with it, it isn’t a problem”.

I think you feel uncomfortable when people look at you BECAUSE you imagine their focus is on one area and then, worst still, you attempt to read their minds! Perhaps tomorrow you should go out with your hair off your face and take part in a “paradoxical advertising” experiment; put your scar on public display, say “change of style today, I’m showcasing my scar”, people may ask you about it, so tell them how you got it. Make it the focus of attention then at the end of the day think about whether the judgement, horror, pity, anxiety etc materialised. I don’t gamble normally but I’d put money on you feeling differently, and much better.

I’m attaching a very poor quality pic of on of my scars. The poor quality makes it look less than it is, but this is me and I don’t think you will think ‘what a shame’ about me any more than people think that of you.

I have a scar In the same place.

Botox makes it slightly better but basically you know the two lines they call elevens between your eyebrows? I have one on one side that looks a lot deeper as the scar is bang on that. It looks
More prominent and than the other eleven. It makes my eyebrows lob sided.

I dont have a fringe I just try my best with eyebrow powder.

I hate it but I'm used to it now finally at 42.

Saying that I'm booked in for Botox in March and when I have it (once a year) before the Botox settles I always get one eyebrow a bit Ming the merciless till the Botox doctor resettles it at the touch up appointment.
I don't get the Botox for my eyebrow I get it because I say I'm never getting it again them after about 12 months I get pissed off with my wrinkles.

I tried the Elastoplast scar plasters and it did improve it about 50%. I think you can use them on old scars also.

100% about it feeling worse because you feel like you can cover it.

I have a 2 inch scar just under my eye. I used it hate it and at one point had all my mirrors set up a certain way so the light wouldn't shine on it and highlight it because I just hated seeing it

I'm mid thirties now. I mostly don't think about it but if I do I actually quite like it. I don't remember my face without it.

I don't remember when I started liking it, maybe it was when everyone started looking more and more similar (botox, fillers etc) but I'm now at a stage where I don't think it makes me less attractive.

To make matters worse I have a colourless freckle/mole on my other eyebrow.

The joy of doing my eyebrows every day.

They are never the same as each other.

Can't get micro blading for this reason

Thank you for sharing your experiences, i'd be interested to know from anybody who has a friend or family member with a facial scar and what they think of it. Do they ever notice it?

I've had yet another day where I looked at the scar, stretched it and wondered if I could have a brow lift or something to make it less indented... I don't know, it can be exhausting not liking the way you look and I wish I could feel as confident about it as some of you and just own it.

Also have any of you actually had people ask about it? How does it make you feel?

I had a friend of a friend ask me not long ago who happened to be male and it made me feel quite low particularly as I didn't think guys noticed these things so much.

@scarface12 it’s awful you go through life feeling that way.
I bet everyone that knows you don’t notice it, they see you not the scar.
If you want to change it, could filler help with Botox?

I have a large, deep scar on my face. I got it when I had surgery to remove a defect. So I've always had something 'wrong' with my face, but I like my scar. I don't think I would look better without it, I imagine my face would be more boring without it, but as I say, I've always been disfigured and never known any different.

I think only a couple of people have ever asked about my scar, it didn’t bother me as they weren't being malicious. However, if anyone were to make it known that they thought my scar was 'a shame' for me then I would not be very impressed at all.

I get how you feel op. I was the same with mine. I think as time went on (I've had my scar since I was 20) I just got used to it.

People don't tend to comment.

I was the same with my boobs. I fell when I was a child and one has always been bigger, I got implants to even it out and it's still noticible to me. My husband has sworn there is no difference as has my best friend and my sister so i believe it's not noticible but I can see the difference.

I'm only saying this as surgery wasn't the answer for me for that.

What I mean is that, unless this surgery is going to absolutely guarantee it will be 100% it will fix it, it might not make you 100% happy.

I'm still guilty of looking at my boobs everyday in different mirrors and lighting looking for ways it's not perfect.

Do you understand what I mean? I know it's not the same thing but i was more conscious of my boobs and even now after the surgery I still feel the same as it didn't fix my mindset.

@nancybotwinbloom Yes I know what you mean. I have had surgery on my scar, in fact i've tried many different things. I don't think i'll ever be happy, its never going to totally go away. Its almost embarrassing in my thirties to still feel how I did about it in my teens, I've just never come to terms with it. I still won't ever accept a photo if the scar is obvious in it, like I wouldn't upload it to social media. I get how ridiculous I sound and how people have worse, I just wish it wasn't on my face right where its noticeable.

I have a scar in the middle of my face from a bilateral cleft lip. I had revision on it years ago and it looked better but it stretches and years later looks bad again. Its raised and although I add makeup, doesn't make it go away. Really gets me down. I hate speaking to children for fear they'll say something. I feel like a little girl all over again sometimes.

@scarface12

Thank you for sharing your experiences, i'd be interested to know from anybody who has a friend or family member with a facial scar and what they think of it. Do they ever notice it?

I've had yet another day where I looked at the scar, stretched it and wondered if I could have a brow lift or something to make it less indented... I don't know, it can be exhausting not liking the way you look and I wish I could feel as confident about it as some of you and just own it.

Yes, I have two friends with scars. One is up by eye. A chunk taken out. I don’t notice it. If I do, it has zero impact on how I think about them.

Friend two has major scars from road accident. Across neck, across face. I see past them too. If anything, the scars remind me how happy I am that they are alive. On meeting her, without knowing how the scars came about, I vaguely thought “that’s odd, wonder what those marks are”, but not in a disgusted or “poor them” way. In fact, I was more interested in what she had to say than about the details of her face.

If something happens to oneself, one takes it very seriously. I too have a facial issue, which made me self conscious, especially when younger, to the point that I’d hide away at times (I thought it so ugly!). This thread has made me realise that others probably don’t much care either. The worst people will think is “oh, a scar.” The image of the mouth above, looks beautiful to me.

There was an experiment once, where they wanted to see the reaction to a facial issue (but birthmark in this case) plus confidence/lack of confidence. The conclusion was birthmark plus confidence was far better received than no birthmark plus confident. But birthmark plus no confidence was worse than no birthmark plus no confidence… presently you may be in that fourth category (I know I was) but if you can get to first category, you’d be in the best place of all. Good luck op.

Even if it's noticeable to others maybe they don't pay it as much attention as you think? You probably home in on it when you look at a pic even if you don't realise it.

Also a bit of distraction eg nice earrings and a necklace to draw the eye in different directions might be better than covering up. The fringe is a mixed blessing as maybe gives a bit of coverage but does it make you more conscious of it.

Having said that, in terms of cosmetics do things like trinnys miracle blur make any difference? The Red Cross used to give lessons in make up for scars do they still do that?

I just tried to Google the Red Cross service and I came across the changingfaces charity, it has some reading resources on self confidence etc as well as info on camouflage.

Should add Im not saying people should cover up their scars, personally am all for acceptance but can see why someone might like to have the choice.

Scars don't impact a persons attractiveness IMO, see below a couple of examples.

Chinese gymnast Deng Shudi has a noticeable scar along his cheek.
Actress Lana Parrilla has a scar on her top lip.

I have one above my eye (not covered by my fringe) from a childhood accident. My parents always said they’d pay for me to have surgery to improve it once I had stopped growing but when the time came I didn’t want it, it had been part of me for 15 ish years at that point, I realise now I should have asked for the cash alternative! 😂 Last time anyone commented on it was probably when I was about 13, and it was a school friend who had a scar in the same place and we matched! I really don’t think people notice it now, I was talking to one of my close friends the other day and made reference to my accident and she had no idea what I was on about and she said she’d never noticed it. I’m at an age where it could be mistaken for a very deep, unfortunate wrinkle now though.